The Onward The maharajah smiles at you at different points. He smiles while one lady gives you your boarding card. He smiles yet again when you go through security check. He smiles yet again, (and you start getting suspicious of the over done smile) before you enter your plane, and once in the plane you realize the smile. It’s a smile of mockery of the passenger, and a taste of what is about to come on him! Read between the smile – BEWARE!!! Similar fates awaited my family when they traveled by Air-India and myself, when we came back to India!
All began well when my dad’s over enthusiastic agent messed up our KLM bookings from Kuwait to New York, and the only alternative was a ‘great bargain’ as the agent put it…flying Air-India.“saab, mufth mein India bhi chale jaooge ( for free u can see India as well)” – he said. So the itinerary was from Kuwait to Bombay, and then from Bombay to Delhi to London to New York.
The journey from Kuwait to Bombay was fine, and my parents were feeling pretty much contented with it. However, trouble starts at Bombay. The Maharajah majestically spread its magical wings over the greatest slums of Bombay and soared high! However, the journey was short. It so happened that some ’technical difficulties’ prevented the flight from flying from Delhi completely!
Thankfully, the technical difficulties were noticed on ground…going by the lethargy of grounds men there, one wouldn’t have been any surprised that such a notice could have come air-borne…however, the only option then would have been – pray.
Anyhow, after 8 grueling hours, finally another maharajah (an old one…who looked suspiciously old to even walk…let alone fly) finally, with its experience of an old timer got my parents to London. However, it had it had something up its sleeve…for once on the runway at Heathrow…it announced through a female accent that there were no restrooms in the near vicinity at the gate they were bunking…and hence would passengers be kind enough to finish their rest room activities before hand?!!! My dad later commended them for at least informing them!!
Thankfully, the London to New York journey was devoid of any acrobats (it seemed like the maharajah had him-self tired out!) and my parents reached safely.
The Return My skeptical mom was worried before hand of the prospect of going back by the same airline, and more so, since I was with them! After a pleasant trip to Niagara Falls and back, who would have expected another kind of falls? That too in mid-air?!!
Trouble started, when one of their AC vents started leaking…not just leaking…pouring! God knows what happened, but our entire cubicle started pouring water from top. It seemed according to the attendant that such things were ‘normal’ and ‘expected’ and we were not expected to make a hue and cry on it! However, the water started pouring so profusely that I and my dad had to eventually get out of our seats and stand in the aisle!
Oh…and did I remind you…with us were a few famous characters from the serial ‘ek mahal ho sapano ka’...which caused a huge curiosity value amongst a 60 odd oldies who were being escorted by a rather talkative and irritating woman. Amongst the watery confusion were the oldies who wanted to take snaps with those characters of the serials. So in the mayhem that followed, we had water falls on one side, and a few desperate oldies trying for that ‘snap’ with the artists! One of them in fact proudly boasted that he was in fact successful in waking up one of the artists (who probably was sick and was pretending to sleep anyway!) and took a photo…later the problem of water falls did dawn on him. It was then he asked – ‘will we reach safely?!’
‘Safety’ was far beyond my dad’s thoughts now, for he felt like wrangling the Captain’s neck at that time. As the water falls increased its presence, a few women folk joined my dad against the war-on-waterfalls! The irritating women with her herd of oldies started praying in what god knows language. The captain coolly slept all through it and no apology was tendered. Anyway, then we started putting papers, rugs and what nots in the over head cabins to prevent water from leaking…however, beyond a point, the chief steward gave up and said – ‘we shouldn’t take chances with too much rugs…god know what might happen’…that brought about a sudden frozen terror in all of us. It took a moment’s silence to sink in what he told, and a moment later utter mayhem broke out.
In all of this, I suddenly remembered that my Laptop was put in an over head bunk as well. I insisted on removing it…and tried the lever. LO! That broke! To my complete dread, the over head cabin just wouldn’t open! A rather polite hostess (who until now didn’t make any contribution to the whole drama) said – ‘don’t worry…nothing will happen to the laptop.’ I reminded her of the in-the-air-above-the-clouds-rather-beautiful-water-falls we were seeing, and my Laptop might have just submerged as well. She smiled! That dreaded smile of the maharajah I thought!
So for a 7 hour flight, I and my whole side, stood for most parts of the journey. As a courtesy for my dad’s complaints, he was offered a first class seat…..for landing purposes…since his seat had completely got wet! Of course we got nothing for supporting dad though!
Back at London, this time due to the confusion, and the utter urgency of the crew to clear the coast made them forget about the rest rooms announcement! Anyhow, the scene didn’t stop at London airport. My dad and couple of ladies and a business man created a scene at the airport. The authorities were kind enough to let us know that the plane wouldn’t fly if there any more snags. In between, one of the ladies whom we had come to know found a bride in the business man’s daughter (I don’t know if the relation materialized…but it was quite a ‘shaky’ start you could say!). The irritating woman with her band of oldies thankfully exited at London.
The next part of the flight from London to Delhi was quite subdued, as somehow, the maharajah got its act together and we thanked our stars, gods, and of course the maharajah for the splendid mid air adventure! Nothing compares to this, me thought! I wont bother on the other stuff...but eh, the food was pretty decent..and the films were from genre worse to worst! Of course, the chaos at Delhi, and the utter mis-management at Delhi is another issue, and I won’t elaborate further!
All in all, we had every penny worth of our ride with the maharajah! So much so, that we are satisfied for quite some eons! Some days ago, I read that Air India made a profit of 32 crores and is one of 6 airlines post 9/11 to post profits!
Indeed! If you want the Adventure of your Life….Come, fly the Maharajah!
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lol very funny, very good reading. I too had a bd journey with air india but not that bad.
mysticguy 29.10.2002 17:56
heh.. you seemed to have had a blast.. actually i wud love to have that kind of a flight.. atleast you can talk to abt it with your friends and laugh.. and what can u say abt a boring normal flight.. and oh my GOD !!! i cant believe it.. you met the stars of Ek mahal ho sapno ka.. tum dhanya ho! you are blessed.. are you sure you did not break into the title song with them.. mebbe next time you will meet the team of Kyunki Saas bhi kabhi bahu thi
Maverick_tips 28.10.2002 14:10
thank god ,u landed in one piece....airline woes r interesting to read,but this hillarious one beats all the airline revus hands down...so u had quite an entertaining in an othewise dull flight journeys......but the most amusing part was when airhostess said this is quite normal!!! Never flown by AI ,except on domestic circuit..hope i never get that privilege....as for profit making mabbe due to the fact that post 911,many airlines cut down on many routes in asia....United,swiss,sabena for eg....'n AI is cashing on it.
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Advantages: An amazing experience for anyone interested in travel. India has it all and more. Disadvantages: The visa is only valid for 6 months. Otherwise I would have stayed for 12.
Jarrac 05.04.2008 (05.04.2008)
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Oct 22nd, 2002
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