Ah Amsterdam, the city that appears to house thousands of insomniac residents, or maybe it’s all the noise at night keeping them awake. I went to Amsterdam in 2000 on my honeymoon (so don’t expect graphic amounts of detail on the Red light district!) I went not fully expecting what I found there. From most people’s perspective Holland is a country fully of clog wearing, pot smoking, tulip loving and sex and windmill mad, arrogant Dutch-folk! And although part of this is true, I’ll explain why later, Amsterdam is very well cultured and beautiful, if not however a little on the grubby side! And there are miles of canals, I don’t know how many there are, but there are lots of the damn things! If anyone does know please tell me and I’ll include it!
There are brochures advertising ‘see Amsterdam in a day’, this would be an impossibility, unless by seeing they mean go via canal boat, don’t bother to get off and just look at the scenery. If that’s really what you want then the Museumboot is for you, it does a circuit of the better attractions of Amsterdam, with commentary. There are 6 stops on it’s schedule; Centraal station, Anne Frankhuis, museum kwartier, Bloemenmarkt, Waterlooplein and Nautisch kwartier (I’ll explain what these are later.) and as I’ve already said, if you want to see all of Amsterdam in one day don’t bother getting off there isn’t enough time (well maybe just enough for one of the markets!). A round trip lasts 1hour and 30 mins and costs E14.25 for a day ticket, this also gave discounts to participating museums. (www.lovers.nl has an extensive list of services available and prices for the canal boat – although it is in Dutch).
THE 6 STOPS
Stop 1 - Centraal Station – Well self-explanatory really, it’s the train station. Stop 2 – Anne Frankhuis – Anne Frank’s house Stop 3 – Museum Kwartier – The museum Quarter Stop 4 – Bloemenmarkt – Flower market Stop 5 – Waterlooplein – flea market Stop 6 – Nautisch Kwartier – Maritime Quarter
THE MAIN ATTRACTIONS (including the street).
Museums
Rijksmuseum – painting and sculptures - Stadehouderskade Beurs van berlage museum – architecture - Damrak Erotic museum – Oudezijds Achterburgwal Geels and co – coffee and tea – Warmoesstraat Martelwerktuigenmuseum – torture instruments – Damrak Sexmuseum Venustempel – Damrak Nederlands Theatre Instituut – theatre – Herengracht Anne Frankhuis – Prinsengracht Allard Pierson Museum – archaeology – Oude Turfmarkt Van Gogh Museum – Paulus Potterstraat
Monuments and churches
Koninklijk Paleis – royal palace – Dam Magere Brug – skinny bridge – Amstel Montelbaanstoren – tower – Muntplein National monument – Dam Nieuwe Kerk – church – Dam (the entrance to the Red Light District is here by the way!)
Markets
Albert Cuyp – general goods - Albert Cuypstraat Antiekmarkt de Looier – antiques – Elandsgracht Antiekmarkt Nieuwmarkt – antiques – Nieuwmarkt Boemenmarkt – flowers – Singel Boerenmarkt – farmers market –Noordermarkt Boekenmart & Kunstmarkt – books & art – Spui Lapjesmarkt – fabrics – Westersraat Kunstmarkt Thorbeckeplein – art – Thorbeckeplein Vogelmarkt – birds – Noordermarkt Waterlooplein – flea market – waterlooplein
Sights and attractions
Artis – zoo, aquarium, planetarium, geological and zoological museum – Plantage Kerklaan Holland Casino Amsterdam – Max Euweplein Heineken Brouwerij – brewery – Stadhouderskade Kattenkabinet – art & cats – Herengracht Madame Tussaud Scenerama – Dam Rembrandt Hoeve – cheese and clogs – Amseldijk Noord
As for cafes and restaurants
Well the place is full of them and while I couldn’t recommend any particular one, I can recommend Pizza Hut at the Hotel Marriott - it has excellent service and the 12” tuna and sweetcorn is delicious. And yes some cafes do advertise cannabis and Lager! But not all.
There is a heck of a lot more in Amsterdam besides the small (very small) list I have produced here. I was there 4 days and didn’t see half of what is here, I saw the Skinny Bridge – if you make a wish and kiss the first time you go under it the wish is supposed to be granted by the new year. The Rijksmuseum is an excellent example of Dutch art, sculpture and architecture; works here include those by Rembrandt and Van Gogh, who were exemplary artists. The Van Gogh museum is one place i really wanted to visit but, alas, the queues to get in were down the street (it was a long street too) and round the corner. They were the same all day. So if you intend on going, get up early and be first in the queue! We also visited Waterlooplein market, this market is brilliant for browsing for gifts, whatever you are after you’re likely to find it there – if I remember rightly we brought back: A bow and arrows (real ones – very decorative), 2 very bright but lovely skirts, a couple of T-shirts, Disney Russian dolls, Tulip bulbs and some damn fine combat pants. Although this is a flea market nothing there is second hand it’s all new and very reasonably priced, you can haggle if you don’t think so, the market sellers find it quite amusing – they’re not all arrogant. The shops are more or less the same as we have here the prices are varied from shop to shop. As it is a city there are plenty to choose from, there are loads of clothing/fashion shops, so if you need extra clothes you won't be stuck for choice.
There are quite a few parks in Amsterdam , most of which I’m sure are very lovely. We visited Oosterpark; it was full of teenagers and discarded Heineken cans, so very disappointing for the distance we walked.
The Dutch themselves can be quite arrogant at times, but usually have quite a sense of humour and are rather liberal. The first thing I noticed on a walk Round the area I was staying in was the sex shops, the windows of which are not blacked out, but instead have lovely displays – usually with something crotchless and made of red latex. The sex shops are all over the town, scattered here and there, and then also in certain disreputable areas in vast gatherings.
A word of warning to anyone planning on visiting Amsterdam; watch out for trams, bicycles and taxis. The trams won’t stop for you if your in their way, and they run through the majority of the city, the taxi drivers won’t stop for you and they drive over pavements and the cyclists won’t stop for you either, there are more bikes in Amsterdam than there are people. They say that the river Amstel is 1 third mud, 1 third, water and 1 third bicycles!
Amsterdam is one place I will definitely be going back to for a longer holiday, there’s just so much I didn’t see in that one trip – mainly because it was my honeymoon, so obviously I was quite reluctant to venture anywhere – but also because for May it was the heat of midsummer here! I got sunburn!
So all that within the city centre and not a windmill in sight! – lot’s of clogs ‘tho!
It costs from £29 p/p by DFDS from Newcastle – Amsterdam (Ijmuiden) – single journey.
And depening on where you stay and the type of accomadation it can cost from £12 per night upwards.
And don't forget to take plenty of spending money, you may get good value for your purchases but the museums can be pricey!
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