…but I was too busy adjusting my cleavage to pay attention. Despite my dining companion for the evening “only” being my mother, I was dressed up, and my boobs were just not behaving. Antonio’s is a dressy place. Sort of. What I mean by this is that you can dress up all lovely and fit in. But you can also go along in jeans and no one would say a word. We had a hen party near us and they were dressed in what could only be described as glam/slutty* gear (*delete as applicable according to how bitchy you feel). There was also a woman with racoon hair – a bit like Jay Leno’s but much more obvious – wearing pearls with her denims. It’s a place that has a lot of interesting contrasts, and not just in the clothing of your fellow diners. Take the décor, for example. In a way, it’s minimalist. Smart wooden tables, glass partitions and lots of shiny metal. But it’s also in your face, with brash red and yellow walls, and lots of colours all over. One thing that’s undeniable though, is the enviable views the restaurant boasts. It’s located on the promenade here, and being up on the first floor means you can gaze at the sea while you dine. Which brings me back to the sun. A fortnight earlier I’d been in Ibiza watching it set over the sea. Same sun, and same sort of picture here (not as many colours, but you still got the lovely image of gleaming on the water) but it wasn’t the same, which is why my breasts had my full attention. You see?

Service was good. It’s a help-you-out-of-your-coat, pull-out-your-chair kinda place, and the waiting staff were constantly hovering discretely in the background, not pouncing on you, but being there if you needed them. I ordered a plainish dish only to have the waiter who (a) was obviously Italian and (b) obviously knew what he was talking about, talk me up to having something not listed on the menu which he thought (quite correctly!) that I’d enjoy. The menu’s pretty standard for an Italian place – lots of pizza and pasta, fish and meat dishes, and some nice vegetarian options – and the prices reasonable: it ended up costing £20 in total for the two of us to have starters and main courses, and a drink each. The food arrived quickly and was tasty – it gave the impression of being cooked by talented Italians rather than random people who might have been to the country once in their lifetime.... I had garlic bread and was pleased to see it was smaller than in some places – strange as that may sound, it’s something I prefer because it fits better in front of me, and is blatantly a starter for one person – meaning whoever I’m dining with can’t pinch half. Everything imaginable was served with black pepper and as much parmesan as you wanted which reminded me of a time at the Strasbourg Christmas market last year when the nice little French man told me to tell him when to stop as he dolled the Nutella onto my crepe. Silly fool.