Bananenbar

Bananenbar in Amsterdam's red-light district is a man's delight, and is a favourite destination for stag groups. Warning:- this opinion discusses sexually explicit activities. Please do not read if you are likely to be offended.

The Banana Bar has been around for many years and gets more and more popular as its reputation circulates. I first went there seven years ago in the company of the representative of a major Finnish timber ...
...most unusual feature of the bar is that all drinks are free - except for Champagne and (for some strange reason) Harvey's Bristol Cream. You pay an hourly rate to enter the bar and at the end of that time you have to opportunity to extend your visit, otherwise you have to leave. And while you're in the bar all the drinks are free.

You can sit on stools at the long bar, but notice just how wide the bar is. Once your first drink is poured ... more

Bananenbar in Amsterdam's red-light district is a man's delight, and is a favourite destination for stag groups. Warning:- this opinion discusses sexually explicit activities. Please do not read if you are likely to be offended.

The Banana Bar has been around for many years and gets more and more popular as its reputation circulates. I first went there seven years ago in the company of the representative of a major Finnish timber company - but that’s another story.

The most unusual feature of the bar is that all drinks are free - except for Champagne and (for some strange reason) Harvey's Bristol Cream. You pay an hourly rate to enter the bar and at the end of that time you have to opportunity to extend your visit, otherwise you have to leave. And while you're in the bar all the drinks are free.

You can sit on stools at the long bar, but notice just how wide the bar is. Once your first drink is poured a succession of beautiful young women will come along the surface of the bar and suggest that you enjoy a 'private' show with them. They will perform on the bar within inches of your face, so make sure your drink is safely placed to one side.

Of course you want to know what sort of shows they offer. I checked Ciao's terms and conditions and I am aware I must be circumspect with how I describe the delights on offer. The women are completely naked, and the star of their shows is a part of the female anatomy that doesn't often see sunlight.

You can be sitting on your bar stool, glass of Heineken in hand (that’s proper Heineken made a couple of miles away, not the acid water brewed in the UK) while a long limbed lovely lying on the bar in front of you hooks her legs over your shoulders. Close enough to your face to require use of the reading part of your bifocals is a vertical smile.

To be honest, there is not much variety in the show. It mostly involves the insertion of various objects and their eventual expulsion. You are invited to assist with the task, and the objects are varied and include bananas. (Yes - that's how the bar got its name and logo)

A healthy alternative is to massage moisturising cream into the young lady's bust and nether regions. The following morning you might not remember much about what you got up to, but at least you'll have soft hands.

Of course the ladies expect a tip and so it makes economic sense to go with a mate or two then while one pays you can all be close to the action. If you want to just drink and enjoy the scene from a distance you will not be hassled. But the women there are so beautiful it takes willpower stronger than mine to resist. They have a very pleasant friendly nature and make you feel good to be in their company.

Let me see if I can anticipate some questions.

How much does it cost? The posted price is 75 NLG per hour (about £23 at time of writing). This is negotiable for groups and at quiet times. Always discuss a discount with the doorman and walk away if you don’t get offered one, as that usually succeeds in producing an offer.

Can couples/women enter? Of course. Women usually make up half the audience at show clubs like Club Rosso, but the intimate closeness at the Banana Bar doesn't seem to attract a female audience.

How much do they charge for the shows? This is up to the woman and depends on how busy the bars is. Expect to tip 20-30 NLG depending on the type of show you ask for.

Are the women available for more private activities? This is up to the individual woman, ask.

Is it a rip-off or clip-joint? Absolutely not. You get exactly what you pay for. The bar is a legitimate legal business and is an official member of the Amsterdam Tourist Office

Where is it? Alongside a canal running parallel to Damrak in the red-light district opposite Club Rosso . The bar's illuminated logo of a naked woman climbing a giant banana should guide you to it. The bar entrance is up an outside staircase, which has a TV monitor showing scenes from the club that will give you an idea if it's for you and your companions. You need to pay at the booking office at the foot of the stairs

Address:

Bananenbar
Oude zidjs Achterburgwal 37
Tel: 020 622 46 70

SUMMARY:

Great place for a boy's night out. Beautiful women showing everything and all the drinks you can handle. What more could you want? Just don’t eat the bananas!

If you have been, thanks for reading.

This opinion written Amsterdam March 2001.
 

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