It only took me a few minutes to realise that if you ever want to disable a Sri Lankan taxi all you have to do is disconnect its horn. Local driving rules clearly dictated that every single manoeuvre made by our driver during our 80 km journey south down the main road from the international airport, through the capitalColombo to our beach front hotel at Beruwela – overtaking and undertaking three wheeled tuk-tuks, dodging wandering children, weaving round old ladies, dogs and meandering holy cows – clearly had to be preceded, accompanied and followed by a series of warning blasts from the on board air horn, which I’m sure was being channelled to the outside world in full Dolby surround sound through an onboard set of Marshall amps. It wasn’t dangerous driving in a mad and angry Rome or Paris sort of a way, the traffic flow was much too slow for that, but with every other road user doing the same, it was incredibly noisy and as a first time visitor to this remarkable island I found myself being almost overwhelmed by the combined rush of new sights, sounds and aromas (not all of which were pleasant) which assaulted you even inside the vehicle.
Our overnight scheduled
Air Lanka flight from Heathrow had been about as comfortable as you could expect a standard farelong haul trip to be. The food had been excellent, especially if you really do like the option of fish curry for breakfast, and, in the main, we had even enjoyed the experience of a 3 a.m. refuelling stop at a furnace like Dubai. That break gave us the opportunity of visiting what is claimed to be the world’s best airport duty free shopping (where else can you find Porches and Mercedes for sale at an airport kiosk?). My wife and daughter were, by contrast, horrified by their visit to the terminal’s ladies loo’s which comprised of a line of the famous (or infamous) open to view ‘holes in the floor’. They decided to hang on until they went back to the plane.
Every few miles or so our taxi driver would suddenly pull over to pay a quick visit to a road side shrine – presumably to give thanks to Buddha for having made it that far in one piece. By mid way, the three of us were joining him. Seventy percent of Sri Lankans are Buddhists, fifteen percent Hindu (mainly Tamils – which perhaps gives an indication of the root agenda of the independence seeking Tamil Tigers) – with the remaining fifteen percent of the population split fairly evenly between Muslims and Christians.
Most of the 50 km of road from the capital to the tourist centre of Beruwela is lined with houses, ranging from fairly palatial detached houses set in their own well tended gardens though to shanty town shacks made out of sheets of rusting corrugated iron; shops of just about every description (most of which carry a name which incorporates ‘International Traders’ or something similar – surely they all can’t be relatives of Del Boy and Rodney Trotter?) and various open road side market type stalls. At one memorable point our taxi halted beside one of these stalls and I peered out at the lumps of black produce laid out on display. It may have been my imagination but it appeared that the lumps seemed to be shimmering, moving ever so slightly in the heat. I was just trying to work out what it was that was for sale when the stall owner reached over to one of the lumps and lazily waved his hand at it. Its covering of flies and bluebottles immediately took flight, revealing the fish underneath. As we drove away the draft from our departure clarified that a similar stall next door was, in fact, a butchers.
I would like to be able to say all kinds of nice things about our hotel at Beruwela, the Riverina, but in all honesty, it was exceedingly average in just about every respect, although to be fair, some of our fellow guests turned out to be refugees from some of the other hotels in the area who came to spend time at the Riverina because they claimed that its facilities were so much better than theirs. Although situated right on a long beautiful sandy beach with rolling Indian Ocean breakers, the hotel is surrounded by a high security fence, with a single narrow gateway to the sea, permanently manned by a hotel guard. The reason becomes obvious went we tried to get out to the beach for the first time, to be immediately surrounded by a gang of local touts and beach boys, trying desperately to sell us everything from T shirts, trips up the local rivers, through to elephant rides. Significantly, they first approach us speaking German but quickly switched to English when they realised their mistake. My simple advice to anyone faced with this horde is to politely but very firmly refuse them. They know who are the newcomers to the hotel and concentrate their efforts on them. Stick to your guns, make it clear you are not buying and they move on to other targets. You will also be approached on the beach, by owners of local beach shops trying to tempt you to view their wares. Successful counter tactics are to walk along the beach and when you see them coming down toward to, wave cheerfully at the and call out that you will visit them on the way back from your walk. Do the same thing on your return.
Due to this hassle, sunbathing on the beach is not recommended and as European women in swimsuits are also likely to attract a crowd of spectators with only one or maybe two things on their mind, we spent most of our time round the hotel pool, which was adequate, but again no more than that. Forget also any thoughts of sitting by the pool, sipping a cool cocktail as the sun dips down into the Indian ocean. The moment the sun touches the horizon the local mosquitoes launch themselves at you with relish (mango chutney and Heinz tomato ketchup) out of the gloaming and although a good repellent may just prevent you from being sucked dry in a matter of minutes the combined whine from their wings even drowns out the local taxis. Head for the hotel bar and stay there.
Once ensconced in the bar you can do one thing which will guarantee you the best possible service from the barman. All Sri Lankan males (and especially barmen) are absolutely cricket mad. A bit of careful research prior to departure to swat up on the names of their current national side, plus knowledge of their batting / bowling statistics (be careful here, unlike the English team, several of them can actually do both), will enable you to engage in fairly meaningful discussion with the barman, to the extent that not only will you guarantee that the gin that he pours you really is Gordon’s and not something produced in one of the darker backrooms of the hotel outbuildings but your fame will also spread to the maitre de, thereby guaranteeing the best tables in the dining room. If you really want to impress, prove that not only can you pronounce Muttiah Muralitharan (right arm spinner) and Avishka Gunawardene (left handed batsman) but you also know how to spell their names as well!
The hotel food was generally good although all of us suffered from tummy upsets – despite taking all the usual precautions such as not taking ice in our drinks, avoiding salads and so on. We were not desperately ill, just rather inconveniencedso to speak – and grateful we were not stuck in Dubai airport.
Do not, repeat, DO NOT, spend the whole of your holiday in Beruwela. If you want a beach holiday there are hundreds and hundreds of better places - yes, some, such as Seaton Carew are even in the UK. However, if you do go there you can easily salvage the situation by getting out and seeing other parts of the country. We hired a car, with driver, and headed off for a couple of days to the mountains and to the ancient city of Kandy. Now that was much, much better …….
How helpful would this review be to a person making a buying decision? Rating guidelines
NH Hotels, the hotel chain leader in Europe, with more than 300 hotels in 20 countries in Europe, Latin America and Africa. Enter into our web site and find the best available tariff at all times
Advantages: Cheaper than some of the other Indian Ocean destinations and most hotels are all inclusive, sunny, friendly people, cheap gold and saphires Disadvantages: Poverty, mosquitos, the driving oh and the civil war...
Advantages: Cheaper than some of the other Indian Ocean destinations and most hotels are all inclusive, sunny, friendly people, cheap gold and saphires Disadvantages: Poverty, mosquitos, the driving oh and the civil war...
Jul 20th, 2001
very helpful by (67%):
helpful by (17%):
somewhat helpful by (17%):
