Castle Green Hotel
Kendal

Quite how climbing 40 feet up a vertical wooden wall achieves this, I am yet to work out. That said, I did climb it and then had the fun of abseiling down it too. As possibly the least fit member of the team I feel quite chuffed.

Located on the outskirts of Kendal, around 9 miles from junction 36 of the M6, the hotel is set in large grounds with a mixture of traditional and modern looking buildings. The reception area is, peculiarly, set to the rear of the building but is large and welcoming with lounge, bar and restaurant openly attached.

Now, as my company has a Scot in charge, I found myself sharing a room with a male colleague. Not usually a problem. Until we found a 4ft double bed as the only sleeping facility in the room. Now, I am a big chap. My wife would not wish to share a double bed of this size with me. I certainly would not wish it on another bloke. And that is before all the macho stuff crosses the mind! While I am irritated at my company for not ensuring twin rooms, I am LIVID at the hotel for accepting the booking without pointing out that twin rooms were not available.

The room itself had a temperature controlled shower that actually controlled the heat and power of the water! This I congratulate these people on. I have stayed in many hotels over the years and few seem able to provide shower facilities that do any more than freeze your gonads off or give you third degree burns. One criticism of the mat is that it covered the plughole so the water overflowed until I made an adjustment.

Hotels in the UK nearly always offer tea and coffee making facilities in the room. Typically, most provide 2 cups, 12 tea bags, 12 coffees, sugar and sweetner. Oh, and 4 long life milks that on their own are not enough for a single cup. In other words, unless you want to hassle reception, you can only make 2 brews in your room! Congratulations Castle Green. You provided 8 milky things. This is a major achievement and I thank you for it. Ironically, the purpose of my visit did not give me enough time to enjoy this facility. But retain it!

The hotel provides excellent conference facilities and also works with other local organisations in providing services for the corporate market. A company called Vertical Air provided our outdoor work. Set in woodland yards from the hotel you feel as if you are in the most remote corner of Britain. A range of challenges are put in front of you and you can amaze yourself with what you can achieve! Our group renamed the climbing tower as THE WALL OF DEATH. It certainly felt like that when I got stuck halfway up! A dramatic recovery saw me reach the top! Quite how I will now make better management decisions remains to be seen. It was tiring. It was fun.