My wife is the ultimate Hyacinth Bucket. Lakeside is no longer good enough for her and every week we visit "Blue". That's 52 times per annum at a minimum. :( Luckily I have a day off during the week and can avoid the busy periods.
Here's some tips for a better shopping experience:
1) If you are arriving from the North via the QE2 bridge/Dartford Crossing then consider taking the first exit immediately after the tolls and follow the A226 towards Greenhithe. This will bring you into Bluewater via a plethora of roundabouts and avoid the queues on the A2. Note: You really need to be in the left hand toll lanes to use this route as the exit is about 100m after the tollbooths.
2) From the A2, the first curving slip road exit into Bluewater is the busiest. It brings you towards the large open air car park outside Marks and Spencers. Most people see this car park and think it is the main parking area and consequently it is very busy even during weekdays. Follow the signs for the Cinema or just drive on towards the rear of Bluewater and park in the relative calm of House of Fraser. If it is raining head for the covered parking and be prepared to head up/down a level for spaces.
3) If you are leaving Bluewater around 5pm then the exit towards the A2 (Gravesend/Chatham/Canterbury) is always stationary. This is because of the road works on the A2 (widening it). It takes at least 20-30 minutes to clear this section. I normally travel back on the A2 back towards London and take the M25/M20 to head back to Kent.
Bluewater is a paradise for parents. It's indoors away from the elements in the winter and it has babychanging galore. Most of the babychanging rooms are on the Upper Level and there are lifts nearby. These can get busy and the best alternatives are:
1) John Lewis - Baby change is next to the restaurant and is spacious and clean, although you do have to negotiate a set of double doors from the shop floor or a single set of doors from the restaurant.
2) The Early Learning Centre has a baby change although it seems to lack ventilation.
3) Marks and Spencer has a separate baby change room that is popular. If you are a Dad there is a baby change in the Gents toilets that is wonderfully underused and I presume there is a similar facility in the Ladies.
4) There is also babychange in Daisy and Tom.
5) The ground floor baby change are in The Village and the largest baby change is in the Food Court (about 8-10 changing stations). It has a wall mounted button that operates the door that keeps your pesky kids in when you have to change one and keep and eye on the other.
A lot of people seem to ignore the world outside Bluewater. If the weather is clement then there is the boating lake outside the Food Court, bike hire, nature trail and a large kiddies play area (I'd love to be able to go down the big slide!).
The best method of shopping is to note the point at which you entered the centre and complete a loop on that level and then move up or down to finish the next level. (Suck eggs anyone?)
The least busy coffee shop is Costa Coffee. It's on the upper level at the rear of Waterstones and can be a relaxing place as it is well hidden. Also it's one of the few places to light up cancer sticks and can get smoky if too many indulge.
The centre is open until 9pm during the week(10pm around Xmas) so take advantage of this. Arrive at 3-4pm when the mums leave to pick up their kids from school and enjoy an almost surreal shopping experience in blue neon lit malls. It becomes quieter after 7pm and you have the whole place to yourself.
Once you get to know the layout, it becomes easier and less stressful. I actually enjoy shopping there now, and for a man that's amazing.
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Advantages: Great range, fresh ingredients, always trying new combinations Disadvantages: Some can be slightly pricey, and it can sometimes be rather busy