British Rail

Before anyone says anything, I know that this is the British Rail category and that good old BR don't technically exist anymore but at this point you don't know what I'm going to write about (and hey, neither do I) so tough.

But what am I actually going to address during today's outpouring of drivel? Actually I'll be documenting my experiences as a rail traveller and addressing the pros and cons of chucking away your car keys and heading for the train station instead. What qualifies me to do this? Hmmm. I'm not a rail employee, never have been, never will be (IQ in double figures), but I am a frequent rail user, and up until 3 months ago commuted into Leeds every day (oh what happy times). Maybe I'm not qualified but I don't really care.

We all know that the rail companies have had a bad time of it as of late and the media regularly points the finger of blame at the deregulation of the rail network. "Profits before passengers" and all the rest of it are common phrases to the news presenters and tabloid tycoons and there's no way that I'm going to go over that ground again. What does it mean to a traveller though?

I can't drive (I know, I keep forgetting which one is left and which one is right) so like many other people, I rely on public transport. My reasons maybe the same as others, they may differ from others, but the fact remains - I use trains and buses. So for the past decade (since leaving home) I've travelled the country on a range of trains and buses that have made me question my decision (all to no avail - The Ford Puma nearly made me change my mind but that's another (rambling) story).

Train travel can be broken down into long distance and local. Depending on where you're going you may or may not have to change trains, you may or may not have to stand, you may or may not have to fear for your life when drunks get on. In short, it's a lottery.

But not now! Now, the rail companies have got their act together and are busy reassuring us that they've put all the problems right and trains are reliable. Hey, come on - We're all great now. A line of truth or another figment of the imagination?

Mrs TheNeil and myself have been to a couple of faraway places recently that necessitated a trip on the dreaded train and the results are variable.

Firstly we had to make the arduous trip from Harrogate to Stoke on Trent. Ok, Harrogate to Leeds, Leeds to Sheffield, Sheffield to Stockport, Stockport to Stoke. Lot's of changes there, lots of chances for things to go wrong. We got to Sheffield no problem, spent a couple of hours perusing it's fine emporiums (ie shopping) and then started off again. Train cancelled. Just like that. Next train gets us in later but not too late to miss our connection at Stockport. Finally get to Stockport. Virgin train is on time but the air conditioning in our carraige is broken as the electricity is off (?!?!?! On an electric train?). Get to Stoke totally soaked to the skin (it was that REALLY hot spell at the end of June). Return journey is slightly better (or worse depending on your viewpoint). We're going back through Manchester rather than Stockport/Sheffield but the train is late (by 5 minutes). It's Ok, we're making the time up and we should be in Manchester on time. But no, we sit outside the station for 3 minutes. Fly off the train and just manage to avoid the slamming doors as the train to Leeds crawls out. The rest of the journey was fine but this journey raises a couple of points.

Why do trains just stop outside stations?
I know that trains need platforms etc. but why do they have to stop within a stone's throw of the station? It's infuriating, annoying, and frustrating.

Bad carraiges?
Technology breaks down. I know that, we all do. Why though do we continue to have to put up with outdated carraiges and second rate standards when it comes to travelling? The bottom line is money (and I think we'll see that repeated once or twice more)

Naturally when my beloved needed to go down to Lincoln and back in the same day she was more than a little concerned. So I did what any self respecting partner would do and tried to re-assure her. "Of course it'll all be fine my darling dearest". In short I lied my bottoms off and kept up the fine tradition that included re-assuring her that Santa Clause does exist and that I really do like her parents.

Harrogate to Lincoln. That's Harrogate to Leeds, Leeds to Doncaster, Doncaster to Leeds. AND IT WORKED?!?!?! Yes, she arrived on time, took only 2 and a bit hours and she was as shocked as I was. The way back is another story. Coming back is Lincoln, Retford, Sheffield, Leeds, Harrogate. Grrr. Sheffield must be a cursed place though as once again the trains let my little lamb down once more. The usual sit-outside-the-station-for-no-reason situation happened causeing her to miss her connection. That's no problem the Leeds trains are 'regular' (I use the term reservedly) so just get the next one. Hey, there are actually two of them just behind each other. A quick question to the station staff regarding which train is going (both) and she gets on the second one (the first one was getting full). Ho hum, twiddle thumbs. Watch the first train leave and then marvel at an announcment stating that the second train WOULDN'T be going (the driver hadn't turned up). To cut a long story short, it took my good woman over 6 hours to get back home following cancellations and holdups at Leeds and all the way to Harrogate.

"The driver hasnt turned up"?
How can you not know that you don't have the staff? Can you imagine the same thing happening in a nuclear power station? "Oh Dave hasn't turned up so we can either leave the plant unattended or cut off the power for the south east". Why do the rail companies seem to be under the illusion that reasons like this make passengers feel better? How can they hope to effectively run a firm when they have no staff cover? Why didn't they know they didn't have a driver until the last minute? Is the train still sat in the station waiting for a driver?

Maybe it's just long distance journeys that are a disaster but no, local journeys can be just as bad. We went to York just two weeks ago on a Sunday (the trains run once every two hours on a Sunday - Ha, that's a joke to start with). We waited with all the other tired shoppers only to hear that the 4:15 train was cancelled. Err, but it's pulling in now? And so it was. We got on, and trundled off in the cancelled train. Commuting in and out of Leeds everyday proves just how bad the situation is. Trains cancelled and simply not replaced. The worst case that comes to mind involved the 7:30 and 8:00 commuter trains being cancelled and then a two carraige train being provided for the 8:15. Err is this a joke? You intend to get 3 train's worth of commuters onto one 2 carraige train? They intended to and they did. Journeying from Leeds to Morley (a five minute trip) took over two hours (I kid you not) and no explanation or apology was forthcoming.

So added to the missing drivers, mysterious out of station waiting experiences, and outdated technology, we have two more problem areas.

Overcrowding is a common problem but the rail companies approach to fixing the problem seems ludicrous. Yes it's not possible to simply put an extra train on, but why not hook up a couple of extra carraiges? How many of us have tried travelling on an inter-city train on either a Friday or at holiday times? People are almost literally hanging onto the outside of the train. I know these are bad times but the rail companies do nothing about a potentially serious problem. On a bus, if the driver thinks it's full, he simply doesn't allow anyone else on. On a train though, people surge on with no control in place. The result, People crammed in like sardines at times (Oh I've been literally shoulder to shoulder and it's not fun when you're claustrophobic) and the gaurd or conductor physically pushing people in so that he can close the doors. It's ridiculously dangerous and if a commuter train ever crashed then the death toll would be horrific.

So we have problems left, right, and centre, but what are the problems? Apparantly nothing. Why can't the rail companies treat passengers like people. We're not simply cattle being herded about (although it certainly feels like it at times) but when things go wrong we either get no explanation at all, or a pathetic excuse such as leaves on the line. Come on, credit us with some intelligence. And why do rail employee's always disappear when there's a problem? Next time a train is cancelled keep your eye on any employee you can find and you'll see them run for cover. They know what's coming and they have no regard for the passengers at all. Their tardiness and disregard for the very people that pay their wages staggers me at times. They are generally surly, unhelpful, and have no interest in whether you make your train, don't make your train, or simply p*&s off and die (just as long as it's not in their little enclave - God forbid they've have to do some work).

So what are the rail companies doing about it? Well it appears to be nothing. There appears to be much emphasis on 'rejuvenation' but in actuality this simply seems to mean slapping a coat of paint onto some benches and everything will be rosy. In what way does painting a bench red make travelling by train any better? Maybe it's the hanging baskets that adorn mosts stations that make trains run on time? And here was I thinking it was vegetables that ran the rail companies.

The current adverts are a joke and no-one in their right mind would believe such fantasy. The rail companies are all prepared to blame soemthing other than themselves, but the problem is simply money. In an attempt to keep shareholders happy, profits have been put before passengers and the results are now becoming obvious. While British Rail was in no way perfect, it was more accountable than the current swathe of companies who all promised to make the rail network something that could carry Britain into the 21st century (and there are rumours that suggest that some trains that set off in the 20th century may actually arrive soon...unless they get stopped outside the station for no reason).

Everyone can come up with a tale of woe regarding train journeys and I won't go into detail on any others from my own experience but I dread to think of the hours I've wasted sitting around in stations waiting for trains that have been delayed/cancelled.

Some companies are worse than others though, and who would I rank as the best and worst? Virgin are poor. I know Richard Branson is trying hard but he's got a long way to go. I've found Virgin trains to be the most antiquated and unreliable that I've travelled. At the other end of the spectrum is GNER. Yes they've had problems too (Hatfield etc.), but GNER have always tried their darndest to get me to places on time and the two high profile accidents that they've been involved withnhave been entirely the fault of others. The trains (especially the East coast mainline ones) are clean, spacious, and modern. If only they did a reliable service between Harrogate and Leeds.

So are there any advantages to travelling by train? Ok it CAN be faster than anything else (except flying) but the risks of getting stuck are great. Yes you have no problem with parking, no traffic jams, and no worry about whether or not the train will have been stolen (the driver is another matter though), but it can be expensive. For the money we have to pay to for the 'honour' to travel by train we should get a better service. First class is a luxury but even if you've paid the ridiculous ticket price, you're still stuck if you miss your connection. The station staff still display the same sense of ambivilence and is it worth doubling your fair just for a having a hankerchief on the back of your chair?

As it stands, rail travel should be avoided if at all possible. The service is far too unreliable, the conditions dire, and if there's a connection involved then you may as well stay at home (or at least allow double your travel time). If you must go, prepare for the worst.

Sadly Mrs TheNeil and myself are off to London on our holidays soon and we're having to go by train (to go by bus takes about 4 times longer). Honestly we're not looking forward to it. Anybody prepared to place a wager on how long we sit outside King Cross?