High speed rail networks exist due to umpteen individuals who access this mode of transport on a daily basis. These are the regular users who systematically like clockwork; frequent the rail network for up to 2 hours a day. It is a lifestyle choice. Engineered to the London city clock watchers, rail travel correspond to working times of every citizen who embraces the ‘rat race’ with a grit and determination that is only rewarded with obscene rail fees; leaving them with a beetroot face glow as they stride forth onwards to that promotion, by which time the fees would of escalated. It was the Tories who privatised the railways. Government squeaks mini suggestions in response to disenchanted rail passengers to the rail authorities ‘Captain Kirk and his men’ but alas they’ve rocketed off to another galaxy rather than to hear the high pitched squeak; “Please sir, please lower your fees.”
To add atmosphere to this piece, I’ve perched precariously on a wrought iron holey chair that is destined to keep its shape after meeting my rear, at a famous London train station. You see I give that bit extra to my articles, it isn’t just the written word, but capturing the mood, movement and ambiance from the location is imperative. The automated voice that sounds like a audio loop of Julian Clarey and Adrian Chiles shrill out at sporadic intervals. The word ‘sorry’ if a cancellation is introduced to the automated loop creates a nervous shuffle amongst the pilgrims who are dazed at the mountain iPad that lists vital travel information, eyes darting everywhere, yes, that’s right, every Bill Gates TV monitors carry the same information. Data is presented out over the monitors like a ‘Mexican Wave;’ if you have the time to watch and take in the technological spectacle. I can assure you no-one else has noticed the rhyme of data that splashes out every five seconds as updates are updated, followed by an ‘automated Clarey’ singing tone, this time. I feel I’ve been here too long already; people are peering suspiciously at me wondering why I’m not mesmerised by the updates that flitter majestically on the walls.
I’m all in favour of the high speed rail network plan Lord Adonis has sprung on us public of recent. He reminds me of a washed up Janitor whereby over 80% of his hair follicles have jumped ship. Lord Adonis is perfect for the job of squeaking to the transport authority’s as his demeanour wouldn’t change in the slightest if he was told that his nine month old puppy had been last seen outside a Chinese restaurant, it’s prospects, not looking good Lord. I’m certain that his unperturbed appearance of ‘non emotional serenity’ won’t get the loud mouth train bosses out of Lakesides orgy of plain talking socialism. The only Lord they would relate to is the puppet ‘Lord Charles.’ So that age old debate is stoked up again, for those who’ve just about kept conscious noting the 200 MPH plus Birmingham to London train service proposal, the network connection is estimated to take 49 minutes.
Yes, it is that old chestnut. The initial concept was in its embryo state in the mid 19th century, but alas due to crazy delusional low investment and obviously bigger priorities the railways have suffered greatly in lack of modern engineering and foresight.
The link will be better serviced if rail networks and authoritarians canoodled together over several games of darts and a bitter shandy and link major industrial cities like Teeside with Sheffield perhaps stop off at Peterborough for a snack, and then skip down to Paddington, London just in time for the Champions League around about 8pm. – Lord Adonis, naturally is more acquainted with ‘Croquet’ and films such as ‘Lady Chatterley’s Lover’ rather than cajoling with an oily train driver dosed up with northern banter. The high speed rail network is purely a political agenda, it doesn’t surprise me that these voices of the once forgotten aged have dug themselves out from their commodes smelling of lavender oil and croaking prehistoric concepts. This is all to engineered for the old faithful Labour voter who has been filtering through the avalanche of sleaze over the past three years, trying aimlessly to seek out some ‘true Labour values,’ and now they’ve got a sniff of something that is oily, fossilised, and nearly as old as the faithful Labour voter; they’re going to make fast trains.
Fast train networks sound very far fetched doesn’t it even in the 21st century, if not quite romantic and potty. The ideology of making trains romantic and a feasible means of travel is remarkably short sighted; for the start the price is far too high and is predominately targeting City folk who’ve got the expenditure even though their beetroot faces say otherwise. Going by today’s traveller many have been portraying this collective trait. The ladies have been over rouging avidly short of time and trying to walk at a canter in semi high heels. Not that I have that problem, my rear has adopted a wrought iron pattern, I can feel an imprint of flowers and two dimensional cherubs. That is what I get for re creating this ambiance and real-time synopsis in words. You here conversations that drift in and out of your perimeter, scowls and grunts and mobile phone tunes, ranging from the banal to the techie savvy geek with five inch rubber soles peeping through their baggy slacks; un-ironed suited professionals slipping off to a quick lunch or latte, as if it is a sin to sneak off during work time.
The aged seem the most relaxed, yet everyone around them are notoriously more perplexed and troubled, I can see why. Travellers getting nearer the hour are bruising their way forward to get a better pitch at the monitors and platforms; the bustling resemble the crest of a wave in a storm, constantly reassessing their position at the platform. Another train slips off into the distance, leaving behind a couple of onlookers cricking their necks at a last glance of their loved ones.
Perhaps, I’m a cynic when it comes to trains and romance; is there a way back to the era of the 1930’s when the main means of transport was by rail?
I doubt there is, our society has changed, morphed into a capitalistic body of commerce, whereby our government is notably trying to relight our romantic notion of rail travel. The notion is today’s news, it’ll be forgotten before it is descended on the floor of a hamsters run. It is a surreal vision, especially as you’ve Lord Adonis who has as much charisma as an ‘economy tin of sardines, electronically stamped 'B-B-D - Jan 2009’.
Rail neglect has gone too far, along with the extortionate fees which are then shifted off to shareholders and fat cats, as soon as the tick on the ballot box is decided so doth the ‘pipe dream;’ disappear – Do not get duped in thinking otherwise. Rail travellers today, have more important matters to resolve, keeping jobs and putting food on the table; with the enormous burden of a high GDP and slaving off the huge interests that has arisen due to mass banking bailouts and Brussels. Lord Adonis surely has been
potty trained.
Potty training 
