Burger King, Bury St. Edmunds

Picture yourself. You have been trapsing around town for hours on end and you are truely knackered. Now I personally aren't that keen on shopping - the fact that I live in the hardly original Bury St Edmunds doesn't help much. But one of the most regular things I do is pop into a Fast food store for some lunch. Of the two big shops - McDonalds and Burger King - I usually go into the latter because the former is normally full to bursting point. I'm not fussy, after all its only food and a burger tastes the same even if there is lashings of lettuce and piles of Mayo in it.

You may be wondering whether this is a dig or an apprasal for Burger King. The answer is this is a dig. But its not a dig at the usual culprit - the food - but this is a finger pointing at the totally pointless and useless staff. Before I go any further I am just going to point out that this is not a dig at every Burger King staff just a select few.

I have to admit the service hasn't always been bad but there have been a couple of times when I have been left at the side of the counter waiting to be served while being elbowed in the face by the man or women who always - to my supreme luck - always has to order the 7 fries, 4 large coke, 1 medium Fanta, a small Sprite, 4 BK singles, 2 BK doubles - you get my drift.

It is truely annoying and the friend who I was with was laughing his face off. After exactly 13 minutes of waiting and constant shoves from greedy customers I got my food - bearing in mind I had just ordered a simple tortilla - I found that absolutely disgraceful. I may sound like Margot off the Good Life but it was true I was very annoyed - although the very angry and disgruntled women who was serving me made me laugh as she continuously kept shouting to the other people to get my food. The worst thing about it was the fact that the food was awful and it kept collapsing onto the floor. My friend was in stiches now so I upped and left. I haven't really thought about it again until last night.

Last night I watched a program called 'Back To The Floor'. It involves a senior manager going to work at the bottom of the scale. In this case a Frenchman - I didn't catch his name - who was the manager of the UK branch of Burger King had to work in the shop. This piece of information may be pointless but as I watched on I observed some of the customer policies which each till operator and cook - if thats what they are called - had to endure.

So I have devised my mini-rulebook for each Burger King staff.

NUMBER 1 - SMILE

Huh. Everytime I get my food I am greeted by a man or women who have just hit puberty and look as though they have just been told they have had a pay cut. Okay the job may be very stressful but for God sake at least you are earning money!

NUMBER 2 - MAKE SURE YOU TAKE THE CORRECT ORDER

Hmmmm. This isn't too bad. Although I have been given the wrong food a couple of times I can forgive because the packets all look the same.

NUMBER 3 - THROW AWAY ANY FOOD WHICH HAS BEEN OUT FOR MORE THAN 10 MINS

Whatever. Now as you heard I had to stand for my order for over 10 minutes and I have stood in the queue numerous minutes but I have never seen anyone take a burger off the shelf and throw it in the bin. If I get food poisoning...

AND MY FAVOURITE

NUMBER 4 - SERVE THE CUSTOMER IN LESS THAN 2 MINUTES AND A HALF.

Your 'avin a laugh aint ya. I have never - and I mean never been served under that time limit. I have to admit that if it is busy that is hard but all you have to do is take a few strides back and grab my bloody burger. Its hardly a Steps routine. This is very frustrating for me because I am paying good money - I pay partly for the food and partly for the service. I seem to be getting only half of the bargain.

So there you have it. The food isn't bad but the service has some way to go before it can rival a sushi bar. Until the service is sorted out I'll be making my burger the old fashioned grille and pre-packaged way.