I'm a graduate in English and Creative Writing, hoping to be the new Douglas Adams. I've just got ba...
I'm a graduate in English and Creative Writing, hoping to be the new Douglas Adams. I've just got back from Travelling around the world, and am currently working for the Social Services to clear a few debts.
Member since:26.03.2004
Reviews:5
In a flash all my nightmares came true. Huge giant animals in clothes playing football with masses of children in baseball caps and velour tracksuits. This isn't Butlins. This is my new home, Bognor Regis.
For those who have not yet been lucky enough to know what a 'Chav' is, visit Bognor. They wear baseball caps, mainly Von Dutch or Truckers caps, that are too big for their head which are then tightened so they barely fit. They where burbery, and tracksuits. They are the root of evil, and mainlt travel in gangs of Teenagers.
Having chosen my university I am given accomodation in the only place that still haunts me from my Childhood, Bognor Regis.
And whats worse, I can see the cretins, and giant animals from my window. For a single mother and her five children this is the perfect place to go. Its self contained, with restaraunts, clubs, bars and arcades all in one place for your underage drinkers to go without ID, and spend all their pocket money in a machine that costs fifty quid before you can grab a fake 'Whiny the Poo'.
While flicking through a glossy magazine on my way home on the train, I came across a spread of adverts for the fantastic holiday resorts in Thailand, Phillipines, and Almeria. Beautiful blue skies and fantastic beaches. Bognor had its flag taken away for having an unhygenic, and pollution filled beach. The town itself has a few shops that can be seen as 'hip' there's a Blockbuster, and Tesco and a student favourite 'Right Price'. However the most lively thing we found in the first week was a bingo hall, now a fully fledged member of bingo, every wednesday nights.
There is a night life, on our doorstep there is the roughest Pub in Bognor, if you fancy a fight you're never far from one. There is also 2 clubs. The 'Only Gay in the Village' is called 'Ground Zero' I have yet to enjoy the delights of this one, but I'm pretty sure it'll be like the other club in the village. 'Club Vision' also called 'Shieks' (pronounced Sheeks) has a student night on Thursdays which on the bottom floor plays pure "1970s back to the days when cheese was cool" Cheese. And upstairs it has a selection of some slightly modern music, i was surprised to hear some Usher/ Hip Hop and even a bit of the ol' rock and roll. Butlins was given the but of the main clubs/ bars, the stamp club, and classic cars club run meetings, check out www.bognor-regis.co.uk for dates and times.
The good thing about Bognor, is its within driving distance of Portsmouth, and Chichester. Portsmouth being the Modern town for clubs and shopping, and Chichester being the fantastically beautiful old town with many of its old churches.
The train station in Bognor is a mere 20 minutes walk through dusty streets, muggings and dirty screams for help. Or you can take a taxi for £3 and be on the safe side. Southwestern trains run from London Victoria every 20 minutes, and to Littlehampton every 15 minutes. If you feel like you have to get out of there fast, there is usually a train running to Barnham, from there you can pick up trains to Portsmouth, Southhampton and Brighton. There is also buses that run from the back entrance of Butlin to Portsmouth, and from the Train station to Chichester.
As for family fun, there is plenty for children to occupy their fragile minds with. Within Butlins you can offload the youngens on to a poor failed acting student in a red coat who will procede to rip their own hair out for the day so you can have a rest. There is plenty of sports and entertainment for them to distroy. If your kiddies are still suckling, there is a creche that you can dump them in, while you purchase and alcoholic beverage or two. In the evening, drag your family along to the Centre Pavillion where you can learn the Agadoo complete set of words and actions.
Butlins being the only place in the world that runs on its own calendar, has Pantomimes in the Summer as well as hiring Proffessional Wrestlers to babysit for the Chav children that usually hang out on the swings.
If giant animals, muggings, polluted beaches, and alien infested anal probes (oh did I forget to mention that bit? well probably for the best.) does't grab your small intestine and swing you from the roof then think of this, You can visit Butlins in Bognor for a whopping £19 per person. Need a short break, try your leg.
Yours joyously from the pits of the Bog.
How helpful would this review be to a person making a buying decision? Rating guidelines
this review is so very very true!!! I have just returned from this hell hole, after only one day out of 4. Chavs, chavs everywhere!!! x
COOOEEE 04.01.2005 00:59
You seem to have told us much more about Bognor than Butlins which the category is for so not really much help for those thinking of visiting this particular resort. Let me know if you add more details of Butlins or if the review is moved to another location and I will gladly reread. Fionaxx
NH Hotels, the hotel chain leader in Europe, with more than 300 hotels in 20 countries in Europe, Latin America and Africa. Enter into our web site and find the best available tariff at all times
Advantages: Great fun, lots to do, well themed, brilliant location, very atmospheric Disadvantages: Expensive on site, get fat from all the drinking and junk food.
Trixie_Firecracker 12.05.2005 (12.05.2005)
·
Read review
Ciao members have rated this review on average: very helpful
Review of Butlins
Advantages: Lots to do, great fun family entertainment, good standard of accommodation Disadvantages: Limited choice of food outlets for self-catering guests
Jan 3rd, 2005
very helpful by (17%):
helpful by (67%):
off topic by (17%):
