Butlins: how many chavs can you fit in a tent?

I had never been to a Butlins resort before, so when my husband found a great deal on the internet, we thought why not, looks like fun and booked for 4 days in May, half board for the bargain price of £99 for both of us. Shortly after booking, we had a phone call from butlins offering to upgrade our accomodation to silver for a small charge, which means we would get a shower and also maid service. We chose to do this.

After queuing, we finally got checked in and got our room keys. We were staying in oyster bay, rows of 2 story apartments and from the outside the rooms looked really nice. Once inside, there was a bed, cupboard, kettle, iron and ironing board and bathroom. The bed had a thin quilt on the top and a barely big enough bottom sheet, which once you got into bed, moved so you ended up sleeping on a plastic, very uncomfortable mattress. In the bathroom, the lighting was disgraceful. Once in the shower, which was like standing under a tap, you couldnt see anything as it was so dark from the lack of lighting and we started to wonder why we had "upgraded" to this.

After returning to our room, we got ready for what we thought would be a entertaining night. Each night, there is a choice of shows in the centre stage and reds, but these are for children and families. We arrived in the pavilion just before 9 and caught the end of a show, which had 2 girls and a cow dancing to cheesy kids songs then went to Jaks, the resorts nightclub where we had a couple of extremely highly priced drinks. There was no entertainment that night, and there was only about 8 people in there so after half a hour we got board and went to the sun and moon pub and sat with the other 10 people and watched the end of the football. After getting board again, we then went to the swinin' shillelagh irish pub, with the only irish thing being the fact it was a) painted green and b) had pictures of shamrocks outside and watched the chavs and a elvis wannabe sing karaoke. Still being hungry from the lack of dinner, the choice was a burger king or kebab, so my husband, went for a kebab, the love of his life, but was then dissapointed that it wasnt in pitta bread, but actually in a tortilla and shock and horror, they had no chilli sauce! The price of food is very expensive on site, but there is a lot of choice and if you are self catering, there is also a small supermarket.

Once again, it was dinner time and again, the food was terrible. i chose tomato pasta, which again was cold and a tiny portion and my husband had lasagne which tasted like tomato puree and flour mixed together. This was the final straw and after only just over 24 hours, we decided to leave. I dont think we could put up with another 3 days being stuck in a tent full of chavs, shouting and swearing at their kids, eating chips, sleeping on plastic and paying over the top prices for drinks.