I had never been to a Butlins resort before, so when my husband found a great deal on the internet, we thought why not, looks like fun and booked for 4 days in May, half board for the bargain price of £99 for both of us. Shortly after booking, we had a phone call from butlins offering to upgrade our accomodation to silver for a small charge, which means we would get a shower and also maid service. We chose to do this.
After looking forward to our trip for ages, the day finally came and we arrived in Bognor, and after a walk around the "fantastic" seaside town (i wish i could type with sarcasm!) we finally arrived at the gates of chav hell. We were guided to our parking lot, around the building site of the new butlins hotel and went in to the skyline pavilion to check in. The sight that greeted us was beyond words. Check in wasnt for another 30 minutes, but the queues were already nearly the width of the building. Children were running wild everywhere, i have never seen so many, out of control, all trying to get on the limited free activities, all screaming and getting screamed at by their parents.
After queuing, we finally got checked in and got our room keys. We were staying in
oyster bay, rows of 2 story apartments and from the outside the rooms looked really nice. Once inside, there was a bed, cupboard, kettle, iron and ironing board and bathroom. The bed had a thin quilt on the top and a barely big enough bottom sheet, which once you got into bed, moved so you ended up sleeping on a plastic, very uncomfortable mattress. In the bathroom, the lighting was disgraceful. Once in the shower, which was like standing under a tap, you couldnt see anything as it was so dark from the lack of lighting and we started to wonder why we had "upgraded" to this.
Half board ment we had breakfast and dinner included in our price, so after we unpacked we went to eat. Half board people all eat in the Coral beach food court which has lots of tables and seating. You get to choose from a salads, traditional dishes, fish, kiddies, soups, pasta and desserts so the choice is pretty good. We had chose to have roast chicken, but when we got there, they had run out, then they ran out of pasta, then fish, so we ended up with a dish of cold vegetable balti with cold rice. The portion sizes were appaling, although the dessert of chocolate cake was fantastic. When we left, the queue to get in the restaurant was huge, and what they ate i dont know, probably huge plates of chips, which would suit most of the type of people there fine!
After returning to our room, we got ready for what we thought would be a entertaining night. Each night, there is a choice of shows in the centre stage and reds, but these are for children and families. We arrived in the pavilion just before 9 and caught the end of a show, which had 2 girls and a cow dancing to cheesy kids songs then went to Jaks, the resorts nightclub where we had a couple of extremely highly priced drinks. There was no entertainment that night, and there was only about 8 people in there so after half a hour we got board and went to the sun and moon pub and sat with the other 10 people and watched the end of the football. After getting board again, we then went to the swinin' shillelagh irish pub, with the only irish thing being the fact it was a) painted green and b) had pictures of shamrocks outside and watched the chavs and a elvis wannabe sing karaoke. Still being hungry from the lack of dinner, the choice was a burger king or kebab, so my husband, went for a kebab, the love of his life, but was then dissapointed that it wasnt in pitta bread, but actually in a tortilla and shock and horror, they had no chilli sauce! The price of food is very expensive on site, but there is a lot of choice and if you are self catering, there is also a small supermarket.
The next morning, after being woken up at 6am, and then every 5 minutes after by screaming kids and parents and the people upstairs we went for breakfast, which was quite nice. You get the choice of a full english, cereals, fruit and toast with jam, though they had run out of jam so you could only have marmalade. We then looked around to see what else was to offer. There is outside fairground rides for kids, gokarts for adults, but you have to pay for those, plenty of fruit machines, a internet cafe, a fancy dress shop, a shop where you can record a cd for £25, a toyshop, a gift shop, a laudrette, crazy golf, tenniscourts, bowling, snooker, cinema which shows only 2 films all week, lot of childrens playgrounds and the swimming pool. The most annoying thing is that you have to pay for nearly everything, and nothing is cheap, so unless you have quite a bit of money to spend, you will get bored and after only 1 day we were fed up. We went swimming, be prepared to pay for lockers by the way, which was fun for about half a hour. The main flume was closed, the bowl ride had about a 15 minute wait and queue jumpers werent dealt with.
Once again, it was dinner time and again, the food was terrible. i chose tomato pasta, which again was cold and a tiny portion and my husband had lasagne which tasted like tomato puree and flour mixed together. This was the final straw and after only just over 24 hours, we decided to leave. I dont think we could put up with another 3 days being stuck in a tent full of chavs, shouting and swearing at their kids, eating chips, sleeping on plastic and paying over the top prices for drinks.
When we went to check out, we were offered to be moved, but to the same type of accomodation which was pointless and all complaints have to be in writing to head office and butlins cannot guarentee you will get a reply.
So, the accomodation is terrible, the staff are miserable, the prices are unbelievable, the food is disgraceful and the other guests are mainly disgusting (like their language).
Conclusion: A childrens heaven, but a adults nightmare.
How helpful would this review be to a person making a buying decision? Rating guidelines
I'd say that if you don't like children then don't go to a family resort! It's unfortunate that kids make noise when they are having fun..it's a fact of life I'm afraid.
Simple!
dreamkin 30.06.2005 14:54
Oh dear. I used to like Butlins when I was a kiddie -Natalie
HotBabes 05.05.2005 19:20
Definitely a disappointment. Have never really heard anything good about Butlins :-)
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Advantages: Excellent Entertainment, Sports facilities, Childrens Clubs, Swimming Pool Disadvantages: Drinks In The Clubs can be Expensive, Clubs can be Over Crowded
criple 30.06.2002 ·
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Ciao members have rated this review on average: very helpful
Review of Butlins
Advantages: The non-stop entertainment is first class, as are the redcoats.Great fun WILL be had by all. Disadvantages: A bigger funfair would've been good.No net curtains in the accomodation.
bluesparkler 09.10.2001 ·
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Ciao members have rated this review on average: very helpful
Review of Butlins
Advantages: Great fun, lots to do, well themed, brilliant location, very atmospheric Disadvantages: Expensive on site, get fat from all the drinking and junk food.
Trixie_Firecracker 12.05.2005 (12.05.2005)
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Ciao members have rated this review on average: very helpful
Review of Butlins
Advantages: Lots to do, great fun family entertainment, good standard of accommodation Disadvantages: Limited choice of food outlets for self-catering guests
May 4th, 2005
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very helpful by (91%):
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