Coffee Republic

...something as simple as a Coffee Shop! Not just any old coffee shop, although god knows some of them are very poor and wouldn’t know a decent cup of coffee if it came up to them, slapped them in the face with a wet trout and shouted “I’M A DECENT CUP OF COFFEE” in a booming Irish accent!

The shop that has really got my goat is Coffee Republic, particularly the Manchester branch.

So what have they done? I hear you cry. ...
...of just sitting around drinking coffee and reading the papers. He had been a really happy boy lately as many new coffee bars had opened up where he lived and he spent his days travelling the town, drinking coffee, reading the newspaper then visiting the various toilets in the area!

One fine day he was wandering the high street, the sun was shining and the birds were singing. It was a good day. He looked up and saw a new coffee shop ... more

I hope you’re prepared because this is not going to be pretty!

I’m normally a fairly easy going fellow, but this store has really got me riled. Are you ready because this is going to be a bit of a hatchet job!!!

So, who out there could have possibly caused an easy going guy like myself to get all riled and upset? Well, it’s something as simple as a Coffee Shop! Not just any old coffee shop, although god knows some of them are very poor and wouldn’t know a decent cup of coffee if it came up to them, slapped them in the face with a wet trout and shouted “I’M A DECENT CUP OF COFFEE” in a booming Irish accent!

The shop that has really got my goat is Coffee Republic, particularly the Manchester branch.

So what have they done? I hear you cry. Well, lots of little things that have just ground away inside and resulted in this tirade. It’s quite a long story so I’ll start where all good fairy tales should start, at the beginning.

Once upon a time there was a young, happy, very good looking boy called Paul (hey, I’m the author I’m allowed to use a bit of writer’s license!). He was a big fan of just sitting around drinking coffee and reading the papers. He had been a really happy boy lately as many new coffee bars had opened up where he lived and he spent his days travelling the town, drinking coffee, reading the newspaper then visiting the various toilets in the area!

One fine day he was wandering the high street, the sun was shining and the birds were singing. It was a good day. He looked up and saw a new coffee shop had opened up. Paul was very happy at this, and went straight inside to try it out. First impressions were promising. Paul looked down the counter and saw a good array of food, some sandwiches, pannini, a few pasta salads, an assortment of yummy looking cakes, and his favourite, muffins and cookies. Ok, the prices weren’t the cheapest, but Paul was used to this, he spent a lot of time on Coffee bars.

There was a little queue so he had some time to have a look at the large coffee menu hung up behind the counter. He was pleased to see all the usual suspects were there. There was Espresso, Espresso con Panna, Americano, Cappuccino, Latte, Mocha, Machiatto, Hot Chocolate etc. There were iced versions of most of these, and there were some other iced drinks, a Teazer (a crushed ice coffee drink) and a fruit teazer, made with, surprisingly enough, fruit and a little surprisingly, green tea. The prices were reasonable for a coffee bar, Paul was very pleased.

The queue was not very big, but did not seem to be moving very quickly, so Paul took his time choosing what drink he wanted. For his first visit he didn’t want to try anything too extravagant, and eventually decided to stick with his old staple, a Cafe Latte. Two sizes were available, Tall and Grande, and Paul decided to stick with a Tall. He waited to be served.

And he waited.

And he waited.

Paul puzzled over what the hold up could be on this beautiful day. He looked behind the counter and saw there were plenty of staff there, in fact there were four people, who looked like they were busy, but didn’t seem to be getting much done.

But Paul was a patient chap, and he waited for the queue to move so he could order his coffee to satisfy his tingling taste buds.

The queue moved slowly, so very slowly but eventually the time came for Paul to order his coffee.

“Yes” said the server, rather brusquely in Paul’s opinion, but he remained polite, as the server could have been having a bad day.

“I’ll have a Cafe Latte please” said Paul

“What size do you want” snapped the server

“Tall please” said Paul, hoping to cheer the server up with his niceness. It didn’t seem to be working.

The server gave the order to the Barrista, and Paul waited at the serving table for his coffee. There were quite a few people waiting there for an assortment of drinks.

Paul waited quite a while, cheered by all the company he seemed to have while he waited. One by one people got their drinks and departed to tables. They didn’t seem to be departing in the order they were in the queue. Peoples drinks seemed to arrive at random, someone getting their drink very quickly, and other people were waiting a long time. Paul noted while he waited that three people who were behind him got their drinks before he did. But Paul remained calm and waited patiently for his drink, which eventually arrived. So off he went to find a table.

He was pleased to see the coffee bar was quite large, with lots of seating available. Although the shop was fairly busy, there were still plenty of table available for him. The only problem was they were all covered in empty cups, leftover food and crumbs from an assortment of cakes and cookies. No matter where he looked Paul could not find a clean table, so he went to the least dirty one and cleared himself a space.

Paul was pleasantly surprised to find the chair he sat in was very comfortable, not like the plastic seats he sometimes had to sit in, and this calmed him down after the tribulations of getting his drink and finding somewhere to sit. He sat back and watched the world go by for a few minutes (he had already read his paper at another coffee shop!).

Lots of people seemed to e coming and going through the shop, people were serving at tables and others were leaving, but throughout the while time he was there Paul did not see anyone leave the comfort of working behind the counter to clear some tables. Even when there was no-one waiting to be served, and the scrum around the serving table had subsided, nobody came out to clear some of the tables and wipe up some of the mess.

Very strange thought Paul.

Still, the coffee really was quite good. It was served in a tall Latte style cup, and was warm and creamy, with a lovely froth to the milk and smooth tasting coffee. Very satisfying. At least they know how to make good coffee he thought. So he sat in his comfy chair, drank his rather tasty latte and left.

Not being one to hold a grudge, the next time Paul was wondering down the high street, whistling gaily to himself, he decided to give Coffee Republic another go.

Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear!

Paul thought he had stepped into a time warp, although this time with less staff who all seemed to have a strange lean caused by the large amounts of chips on their shoulders! The service was as poor as it had been before, and the staff still had not quite mastered the knack of cleaning tables! Still, Paul really wanted his cup of coffee, so patiently waited, and waited and waited and was eventually served. After scraping a space on a table, he drank his admittedly rather tasty cappuccino and left.

Now Paul has never been one to learn a lesson very quickly, and has had the black eyes to prove it, so one hot, sunny day he was walking down that very same high street, past that very same coffee shop and decided to give them one last go, after all, things might have changed, you just never know.

Hmmmmmmmmmm

“I’ll have one of your nice looking Teazer iced coffees on this lovely hot day” said Paul

“erm, nope,” said the server

“Why not? asked Paul

“We’ve not got any” said the server

“OK, I’ll have a fruit Teazer then, something nice and cool on this lovely hot day” said Paul

“ermm, nope” said the server

“Why not? said Paul again, thinking this was like pulling teeth!

“we’ve sold out of this too” said the rather unhelpful server

Oh dear thought Paul, none of those lovely looking, and heavily promoted on posters, iced drinks, and the fridge was very empty looking too, with not a cold coke or mineral water in sight. Paul was quite despondent, you would have thought, it being summer, the shop would have made sure the freezer was well stocked and there were lots of cooling drinks available. Eventually Paul decided on an iced Latte, although even this took a while as the staff went in search of ice! Good grief he thought.

Oh, and he found all the tables were dirty again. Blimey!

Still, again the coffee was very tasty, he bought a very yummy chocolate brownie, and despite the mess, the atmosphere in the shop was again very relaxing, and the air-conditioning helped cool him down and keep his temper in check. A lesson had finally been learnt though, and Paul never went to Coffee Republic again. Despite it being one of the few coffee stores with a consistently good cup of coffee, with plenty of flavour and bite, a good range of tasty food and a relaxing atmosphere, the service just wasn’t good enough. Paul was not too despondent though, as over the road he found a branch of Costa with good coffee, helpful staff but not quite so comfy seats. Still, you can’t have everything.

The moral of this story? Well, making a decent cup of coffee just isn’t enough. A little more effort goes a long way, and how much effort does it take to be polite and clear a few tables? Too much for some people it would seem.

Oh, and he lived happily ever after.

THE END 

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