My bruises have bruises. I'm blaming the cheerleading. Review writing is a whole lot less dangerous....
My bruises have bruises. I'm blaming the cheerleading. Review writing is a whole lot less dangerous.
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We went to Cologne this December so I could practice my German, we could go to the Christmas markets and we could take some much needed time off work. Actually, scrap that. Those were the reasons we went to Germany. The single reason we went to Cologne in particular was the flight schedules - Tui now fly there from Manchester, and our flights cost less than Ł70 return including taxes and the credit card fee (alarmingly charged per passenger, not per transaction).
I had been to Cologne before, but not since 1991, which is a decent chunk of my life ago. My companion had never been there, nor anywhere else in Germany for that matter. We booked in September, and had been annoying our mutual colleagues ever since, with tales of the heavily-chocolate-infused fun we were going to have. Now everywhere in Germany has fabulous chocolate, but not everywhere has a chocolate museum like Cologne does. On the banks of the Rhine, and a mere 10 minutes walk from our hotel, this was my mecca, and we spent a morning of our trip there. I've been to many a chocolate museum - Hershey in Pennsylvania, Cadbury's World in Tasmania (nothing as normal as Bournville for me) - but this was something else. Firstly, they give you chocolates as you pay to go in (currently €6.50/adult). This I liked. Then, once you've navigated through the hideously boring history of chocolate bit on the ground floor (useful only if you're trying to kid yourselves this is an "educational" outing…and only if you've not heard the same spiel about the history of cocoa on several continents
and in several languages on previous occasions), there's a chocolate fountain from which they give samples. Not just any chocolate fountain, of course, but a Lindt chocolate fountain. This I liked. Upstairs there is a fake Lindt factory where you get to learn much better things, like how they make chocolate bunnies and santas. This I liked. And then, on the very top floor, the fun really begins, when they have the bit of the museum dedicated to brands - there's a Kitkat bench, a massive Milka cow and the most monster Lindt Lindor truffle you ever did see. They also pay homage to Lindt bunnies, Kinder Eggs and just about everything else you can think of. They even have a small cinema, showing Chocolate TV ads from times gone by. This floor, needless to say, I just loved.
Outside the museum at this time of year you can find one of the 6 Christmas markets in the city. This is the mediaeval one, and there's also an old one, a newer one, and one on a boat to be explored, among others. You had to pay for the medieval and boat ones (€2.50/adult and €2/adult respectively) and you get very little for your money if you go during the day when the main "entertainment" is not on (case in point: the "living nativity scene" may have real people come nightfall, but is one donkey chewing on some hay during the day) but we went in anyway because we didn't know better. The biggest and best market in our minds was the one at the foot of the cathedral, which is where we gravitated to most nights. This was definitely the place for food (langos, baguettes and pizza as well as the sausages and crepes they sell in all the other places), and the stalls were no worse than anywhere else (exactly the same as some other sites, to be exact).
We climbed the cathedral too - it's just what you do, after all. It was my 3rd time up the tower, and it doesn't seem much easier at 25 than it did at age 6, my first attempt. The view from the top is spectacular though, and of course you can get a great bird's eye view of the Christmas markets right now in addition to the wider landscape. The cathedral itself is also worth a nosy round, and the stained glass windows are beautiful.
While it's no mecca for the sport, shopping in Cologne is not at all bad. The Galleria Kaufhof is rumoured to be the largest department store in Germany, and takes up a whole block on one corner of the main shopping street. It has a phenomenal chocolate department in the gourmet shop in the basement, and all the other boring stuff too - clothes and handbags and shoes. The chocolate museum naturally has a fantastic shop too, but prices in neither of these are that cheap unless you're buying Lindt which comes price stamped and costs the same everywhere. On our first day we found some supermarkets (Rewe, Plus, Aldi, another Rewe) and spent most of our pennies and luggage allowance in these - 10 cents on a bar of Milka might not seem much of a saving until you take into account we bough dozens of them for the office, friends and family. Incidentally, the chocolate museum shop seems to stock everything except Milka for some unknown reason.
Tired out from all the shopping, I took a spin round the ice rink set up at one of the Christmas markets. It was €2.50, with €3 for skate hire (many people brought their own) and you got 90 minutes on the ice for that. If you've seen the rink in Manchester this year, which is less than half the size and costs more than 3 times as much, you can see why I thought this was great. The setting is also much more picturesque - an old market square with traditional, painted houses, compared to the pound shop and Primark view you get here in town.
Other places on our hitlist were the original 4711 shop (with a "fountain" of 4711, basically a dripping tap you can dip your hankies or wrists in) and the TV tower. Which is a long way away from the centre. And which wasn't open. So, not the most productive trip, but we did find some new, different supermarkets on the way which was highly exciting. We also passed through the Stadtpark on the way which confirmed my view that when you are in Germany or Austria and are in desperate need of drugs, Stadtparks are the place to go. In spring and summer you can take a cable car across the river (I LOVE cable cars, so was naturally gutted this doesn't run in winter, as like the chocolate museum it's a new addition since my trip last century). Cologne also has a zoo, botanical gardens, various museums and dozens of lovely old churches which we saw in passing.
We ate well in Cologne despite her being Chinese and not vegetarian and me being vegetarian and not Chinese. Or so we thought. We happened upon Rafaello, a famous ice cream café quite by accident one night, and went in. After greeting us in Japanese (they knew Fiona was Chinese…they just thought that what they were saying was Mandarin) the two waiters proceeded to have a conversation in German about whether only one or both of us were Chinese. As chat up lines go, "Are you Chinese?" is certainly a new one for me… We forgave them though when the food came out, and their sundae with hot chocolate sauce comes highly recommended.
For main courses we either hit the markets or went to my favourite German haunts, the Dinea restaurant in Galleria Kaufhof, and the Karstadt buffet. Imagine a BHS restaurant or Debenhams café with two dozen more choices, all freshly prepared, and at a fraction of the price, and you have these two. Plus, you can sit for ages without people hassling you, and though you have to tip when you go to the loo, if you're lucky there might be someone in there wiping the seat for you between customers. A lovely touch until you realise they're using the same wiping cloth on every seat, and probably have been all day… We also went to Café Eigel one day which is just off the main street and has a gorgeous window display with a gigantic gingerbread house at the moment. Their cake selection has to be seen to be believed, and the prices take some getting used to too - two beautiful home made cakes and two drinks cost us less than €10. On our last night we shunned the food of the markets and went for crepes in a café overlooking them instead. The cost was the same and we got to sit in comfort and warmth, smirking at those on the outside, hurrying through the drizzle.
W e went for 3 days which was just long enough - there's not all that much in Cologne, but the markets and cathedral make a trip worthwhile.
We travelled with Tui from Manchester and stayed at the Novotel. A taxi from the airport cost €25 when rounded up for a tip. We walked everywhere in the city but there are trams and an underground available. There is also a fugly train.
We travelled out with 15kg luggage between us, and came back with 28kg. The difference was chocolate.
My overriding memory of Cologne now is that it is overrun with Apotheke (pharmacies) and bakers. The latter is not necessarily a bad thing, but I would quite like to know why the local bread seems to be men holding plastic trumpets in slightly worrying positions. It is also overrun with the English (damn the English!), but we found we got a much warmer response when we, or, fine, I spoke German.
Star buys are 4711 which smells, but is compulsory, chocolate and anything with a picture of the cathedral on. The Christmas markets are fun but not that cheap (though still a zillion times better than the ones in England) - we enjoyed looking round all the stalls, but ended up buying things in proper shops instead. Same stuff on the whole, better prices.
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![Man - Live In Cologne, Germany 17th April 1975 [2007] [DVD]](http://picnicb.ciao.com/uk/77976249.jpg "Man - Live In Cologne, Germany 17th April 1975 [2007] [DVD]")
Dec 7th, 2007
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