On take off, a couple of the overhead lockers sprung open in response to the shudder and rattle of the elderly plane travelling at full pelt down the runway. Fortunately, the open locker above my head was far from full, and ourtake off was smooth. Once the flight attendants could move from their seats, the attendant sauntered up and down the aisle ignoring the locker for a while. And then he spotted it! He narrowed his eyes suspiciously at the passengers, and scrutinised us slowly one by one. It was if he imagined that one of us had crept up behind him with the seat belt signs illuminated, just to open the locker and upset him.
Welcome to Cubana airlines - certainly the flight that customer service forgot!
Cubana is the Cuban national airline that recently celebrated 75 years in (and out) of the air. Since 1981, 8 of its roughly third of a million flights have resulted in disaster - a failure rate of 24 flights per million, a figure which places Cubana firmly at the foot of the airline safety stats. While even this tally provides some positive perspective about just how safe air travel is, many European carriers boast a figure of around 1 per million, and North American ones are often slightly safer still.
To be fair to Cubana, many of their aged Russian planes are now out of service, and their transatlantic flights tend to use lease planes. Our flight from London to Havana was aboard a leased Air Atlanta Europe Boeing 747-300. Internet research revealed that our plane was first in the air in 1983, and our flight revealed a few clues about who had owned the plane previously. First, safety instructions were written on the seat back in Indonesian, and the woeful five channel radio system came courtesy of South Africa Airways. The "beg, steal or borrow" feel was enhanced by the on board navigation indicator, which advertised a hotel in Hong Kong, a destination never graced by Cubana!
Flyers on Cubana also need to be prepared for a long wait on the ground. Our departure was over four hours late, which I believe is standard. A mix up extended our delay; the wrong seating plan was used at check in, meaning that passengers were given tickets for non-existent seats. Fortunately, our plane was little over half occupied, and so the problem was resolved within an hour.
Of course, even before this little mix up, we had already been exposed to the little altercation between the ground staff and Cubana aircrew at London Gatwick. The argument was over whether the Cubana staff had been checking passports and flight details in enough detail!
Our nerves were fraying.
For our return flight, Cubana managed to grasp timing defeat from the claws of victory by making us sit on the plane for an hour while they checked a mismatch on the number of passengers.
In the air, things were little better. Food was standard aircraft fare; a rather flaccid piece of chicken lying forlorn in a pool of mush that probably once started life as vegetable matter. Drinks of any kind were somewhat hard to procure. We had an average glass of Spanish red wine with our meal, but the top up service consisted of the staff whizzing through the plane with a trolley empty of alcohol while avoiding making eye contact with the passengers. Actually, when I say "empty trolley"; not quite - as we were at the front of the plane, I spotted the staff laying the full bottles of spirits flat on the trolley to just make it look empty.
We were also offered little in the way of soft drinks and water for our eight hour flight, although at least on our out bound flight they did come round with orange juice and water a couple of times. I was certainly pleased that I had the presence of mind to remember to buy a couple of bottles of water at the airport.
Also not for Cubana was the cosy little overnight pack with disposable toothbrush, refreshing wipe et al. No, we were given some headphones (for the aforementioned entertainment), and a small pillow. My beloved's four requests for a blanket to try to fend off the effects of the ferocious air conditioning system were met with smiles and nods, and no action.
While the crew cheered up as the flight proceeded, service was certainly sluggish, and gave me cause to pause and think about how the crew would fare in an emergency. It is only when the attention to detail is missing, you realise you find those formal routine flights rather comforting and reassuring.
In conclusion: would I fly Cubana again? Not on your life! _____________________
cr01/ slug asserts his right to be associated as the author of this review -2005-
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Economy
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First time
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Safety
Poor
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