As always with my F1 opinions I’ll be identifying three drivers that are heroes and three that are villains as well as a hero team and a villain team. I’ll also be giving my general opinion on the race itself. Before I start I just want to apologise if this is a little less coherent then the Melbourne review, I watched the GP with a few friends of mine and copious amounts of alcohol and food were consumed. I’m currently recovering with a vitamin pill and an Everclear CD. Anyway… the opinion.
* The Results – A few missing drivers *
As yet there has been no controversy over the finishing order as there was in Australia. But a few notable drivers didn’t make it into the points – here’s briefly why. It rained. Most drivers who disappeared did so because the heavens opened in a most tropical style resulting in the safety car coming out. More on this later.
10 - Michael Schumacher (Ferrari) 6 - Rubens Barrichello (Ferrari) 4 - David Coulthard (McLaren) 3 - Heinz-Harald Frentzen (Jordan) 2 – Ralf Schumacher (Williams) 1 – Mika Hakkinen (McLaren)
* The Race –New FIA Safety Rule: Drivers Learn to Swim *
There were two stars of the Malaysian Grand Prix for me, one was the weather and the other is one of my hero drivers, but you’ll have to keep reading to find who that was.
As the cars left the grid to take the warm up lap the sun beat down with some intensity. It must have added to the red face of rage that Heinz Harald Frentzen must have been wearing as his Jordan trickled around with it’s Honda engine misfiring like a baboon holding a machine gun. However, luck was on his side as Fisichella made an outstanding cock up, forgot where he qualified, tried to park in two places at once and ended up floundering pathetically in the no mans land between the two lines of cars.
The start was aborted which allowed Frentzen to regain his grid position, something that would only be of his use if the baboon could be separated from his engine. It was also lucky for two of my friends who got to the party late and missed the first start. Giancarlo’s final act of kindness was to rescue Montoya whose engine stalled on the grid and refused to start again. Montoya ran to the Williams pits and jumped into the spare car and took the restart in the pit lane. As the grid left for the formation lap, poor old Giancarlo had a bloke with a yellow flag standing in front of him preventing him from leaving until the grid had past, relegating him to somewhere near last. I’m not sure who was released first, Montoya or Fisichella but last or last but one doesn’t really make much difference.
At the first corner Rubens had a sudden rush of blood to the head and mistook Ralf Schumacher’s Williams for Frentzen’s Jordan and nudged him into a spin to gain a place. Meanwhile the ever unlikely Jos Verstappen’s Arrows shot up somewhat inexplicably from 18th on the grid to be mixing it with the likes of the Jordan’s and the McLarens! Olivier Panis had a promising performance curtailed by a failed oil system which dumped itself and Olivier at the sixth turn. Now someone, presumably Bernie Ecclestone, decided to spice up the race by starting it raining. And did it rain! At one point over half the track it was raining so hard that the track basically flooded while the other half was bone dry. Was it going to be the German GP 2000 all over again? Would Rubens cry? Well, no, the wildly varying conditions claimed several drivers.
First casualties where the leading pair of Ferrari’s, arriving at the scene of Oliviers exit, they hit the combination of oil and water and careered off the track almost in tandem with Barrichello making it back on track before Schumacher. The safety car then took to the track, but not in time to save Jarno Trulli from sailing straight on into the gravel at the final turn, followed by a pirouetting David Coulthard, whom he had just taken the lead from. They were rapidly joined by in the gravel by Gaston Mazzacne, Juan Montoya and Tarso Marques. All regained the track apart from poor Montoya. A bad end to a bad weekend, here’s hoping Brazil goes better for him.
By now all the drivers were diving into the pits for some rubber more suitable to the conditions. Either intermediate or monsoon tyres. Monsoon tyres were chosen by the drivers that didn’t realise the safety car was out and expected to be fending for themselves in the terrible conditions. Ferrari were one of the few teams to make the right call, though only after Rubens was stationary for well over a minute with an enraged Schumacher queuing up behind him. Leaving the pits in a hurry to avoid going a lap down on the safety car Rubens shot off the circuit but when all settled down the Ferrari pair found themselves in 10th and 11th with Rubens leading Schumacher.
Five laps and some stunning manoeuvres later Schumacher had passed everyone and was back in the lead. Bizarrely, Jos Verstappen seemed to give the German the most trouble on his way through the field. Barrichello joined Schumacher at the front shortly after and the pair sailed off to finish in a Ferrari one-two.
Meanwhile, Coulthard, Hakkinen, Frentzen (Baboon duly dispatched from engine only to sit on brakes and clutch), Verstappen and the younger of the Schumacher’s engaged in an enthralling battle, an especially memorable moment (At least to a Jordan fan) was when Hakkinen went up the inside of Verstappen, only for Verstappen to sneak through again at the next and final corner of the lap. This wrong footed Hakkinen allowing Frentzen to squeeze through and almost make it past Verstappen as well. Nail biting stuff, perhaps wet tracks should be made compulsory!
Ferrari are now starting to look so good that they are beginning to concern me (Not the biggest fan you see), they certainly have the best overall package so far but not it seems the best engine. Surprise of the event was Ralf Schumacher’s Williams, the BMW engine propelling the Williams along some 10kp/h faster down the straights then the next fastest car. BAR didn’t really last long enough to get an idea of performance with both drivers spinning off. Arrows had a day of mixed fortune with Bernoldi charging off into the gravel before we could even notice him, while Verstappen was mixing it with the top drivers. Minardi were somewhat disappointing after their comparatively good performance in Melbourne as they fell back to their standard back of the pack position. Benetton could have not been in the race for all I could tell, the only time I remember them is when Fisichella tried some creative parking.
* Heroes and Villains *
* Drivers: Heroes *
Jos Verstappen: It’s obvious really isn’t it, I shouldn’t have to say why he’s here. He’s in an uncompetitive car and started the race in 18th and yet was running a genuine second at one point. It’s only sad that he finished just outside the points in 7th.
Ralf Schumacher: Staged a comeback similar to Frentzen in Melbourne, impressive and entertaining to watch him claw his way back to 5th from what was effectively last after the first corner.
Michael Schumacher: Uch, I had sort of decided to myself that I wasn’t going to pick the same driver for a hero/villain two races in a row but the only two drivers I could think for filling this position were Schumi and Frentzen, both Hero’s last time. Frentzen because he was driving round a slightly broken car but in the end I plumped for Schumacher because of his comeback from 11th to 1st.
* Drivers: Villains *
Rubens Barrichello: Again uch! Yet again Rubens punts off someone to gain a place and then later moans that his team mate overtook him. For crying out loud Rubens! If you don’t tidy those toys up RIGHT NOW I’m going to smack your bottom!
Jacques Villeneuve: You had a serious crash two weeks ago that you’re happy that you survived but show some respect for the deceased. The crash is no matter for smiles and jokes, Tony Jardine I’m looking at you as well. Yes, they shouldn’t over react but it is still a tragic event. You bunch of ***** * ******* ***** * *** *********** * *** ************. Don’t let me catch you alone at night, you hear!
Giancarlo Fisichella: Seems you wouldn’t even get a normal driving license, let alone a super license. You have to be able to park!
* Team Hero *
Williams: Wow – I was not expecting that! It’s a shame McLaren have slumped somewhat, because we would have had the exciting prospect of having three leading teams.
* Team Villain *
Ferrari: Ferrari just seem to have a gift for bungling pit stops in a most entertaining way. It’s amazing you got away with it as well as you did!
More in two weeks…
PS - if you're wondering what I updated, it's mainly a couple of things just to make me happy :)
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