Colombo City is a deranged, dusty, frenetic type of place where large brown cows wander self righteously down the main roads seemingly oblivious to the crazed over stuffed buses and insane tuk-tuk drivers that cross their paths;(while in Sri Lanka I noted with some amusement that while traffic will screech to a halt and patiently wait for cows, dogs and the delightful, lazy monitor lizards to amble at their own pace across the roads, humans receive none of this polite conduct and have to take their own lives in their hands)..............the humidity is breathtaking, like being suffocated by a warm, wet towel, but fear not respite can be had in the form of the grand old colonial hotel "Galle Face". Established in 1864 this is a salute to the old colonial days when Sri Lanka was Ceylon and pale, european ladies perspired gently in the shade, delicately sipping their tea while their tea plantation husbands conducted the important business of the day.

Up the creaky old wood panelled elevator we went to the second floor. With a proud flourish the bellboy unlocked the door . Had we stumbled into one of the two gargantuan ballrooms by mistake? I wondered as he led us into our room. We stepped into an enormous space with elegant , in a slightly 'faded glory' kind of a way decor, a parquet floor polished to perfection, a gigantic bed with the whitest, softest, cottonest sheets and a separate ante -chamber that seemed designed specifically for lounging around in silk pyjamas (cigarette holder optional). There was also a good sized bathroom with endless boiling hot water, a TV, air conditioning and a well stocked mini bar (all this for the princely sum of *$99.00).

The hotel is situated bang next to the Indian Ocean and also overlooks the 1km long stretch of greenery called Galle Face Green. This is where Colombans come to fly kites, play football, have picnics and promenade in their finery on a Satruday night, - there are also some great food stalls selling a large variety of spicy snacks (known as short-eats). For the equivalent of about 20p you can get ten big ' uns to munch on as you stroll around.

"Good Grief" I exlaimed to my paramour "is that the time already? it is almost sundown and we must hasten to our room to prepare for cocktails on the checkerboard terrace". So we did. The checkerboard terrace is a big square black and white chess set with tables and parasols and a fine view of the sea. The sunset was not a disappointemnt and neither were the cocktails. To start with I had a Barracuda - a refreshing mix of white rum, galiano, pineapple juice, lime juice and champagne. Gary opted for the appropriately named "Indian Ocean" . These were served by the ever attentive waitors with a complimentary dish of warm, spiced cashew nuts.

Back at the hotel an early night for the sad to leave travellers beckoned. Slept like I had been anesthatised. Breakfast was a fabulous buffet ( I tend to think buffets are only ever any good for breakfasts) - coconut juice, string hoppers, a small portion of fish curry and some coconut roti ( a very hot spicy relish) set me up for the day (well, who wants to have to suffer airplane food just because they had only one slice of toast and jam for breakfast?).

This place is a must for those who would like to be an extra in a Merchant Ivory film- it is also a must for those who wouldn't!