General: Bermuda

Imagine a tropical isle where you dont need to learn another language and you DONT have to feel guilty!

Bermuda is another world is a philosophy and a song by Hubie Smith, best heard when sung late at night by a gorgeous local man (BUT I DIGRESS!)

When you first fly into BDA (via BA or DELTA) all of a sudden the dark Atlantic changes to a turquoise jewel and voila! there you are, in paradise

Bermuda is pristine and this comes at a price - there are no 25 euro rooms, but you DO have a choice between resorts and bed and breakfast with the Bermudian hospitality that is second to none.

You cannot rent a car - this is strictly regulated to keep the traffic somewhat controlled, but you can rent a moped WITH a helmet and at least 3 or 4 minutes of instruction on how to ride!

Which is on the LEFT for you Brits, as BDA is the largest British Colony, now that HK has reverted.

There are more Churches and Golf courses per capita than anywhere else, so if either of these appeals, you have it made.

But for me there is a choice between the HEALTHY tour and the SLEEZY tour. The first one involves getting up early and taking a swim or a stroll or on your rented bicycle or moped or even a horseback ride on the beach. Then lunch at pool side, and an early night.

The second approach is where you party hearty until dawn, then have Bermuda breakfast at a small cafe - Codfish and Potatoes - sounds odd but is LOVELY. Then you recover by sunbathing and sleeping on the beach... so you can hang out again the next night.

Now that I am older (ahem) and wiser, I opt for the inbetween, where I enjoy the Jazz at Hubies, but leave before dawn. And perhaps enjoy a morning swim or walk along Horseshoe Bay on the South Shore.

My favourite is still the Admiralty Walk on the North Shore, near Spanish point, where you have most of the beach to yourself. If you are not keen on the mopeds, you can take a PINK bus or a local taxi. But remember to NOT slam the doors (drivers are very proud of their vehicles) and HOLD ON TIGHT! The narrow roads do not have much room in between.

Shopping in Hamilton is great -- at Christmas I purchased several items of Liz Claiborne at 50% off - much cheaper than in the UK. For the North Americans, they can purchase the English woolens and French fabrics from Soleaido instead of going all the way to Provence.

Michael Douglas and his missus Zeta Jones count BDA as a second home (his ma is Bermudian) and plan to educate their kids there.

The children are well mannered, the locals are gorgeous, and charming.

And Black Seal rum with Ginger Beer, is known as a Dark and Stormy.

If you are keen on Cricket the Cup match happens end of Jully between the opposite ends of the Island. Sometimes it ends in a draw but no prob - you can play Crown and Anchor and watch the pretty people.

My favourite time of year is May and September or even Christmas with the Casava and Farine pies and the tradition of visiting friends at ALL HOURS for drink and food.

It's only 21 square miles and STILL My favourite Island.

PS: In response to member comments, I wanted to add:
Bermuda is a tax haven - no income tax either and they love brits - it is more British than Caribbean, but does have the island magic. The locals are not poor, hence NO GUILT! They are very friendly, and very good mannered, so if you have a question, YOU MUST say Good morning first (kinda like in France, you say Bonjour, doncha)! It is not a violent place - people only recently started locking their doors. Yes, there is crime, but less than the other islands and less than in OXFORDSHIRE! And I get to go back again SOON!

And YES AVRIL you got it - the men are gorgeous and oooohhh those naked knees!