Golden Sands Resort

...my overriding thought is that Golden Sands could have been anywhere, really, or at least any package holiday destination - it has bits of Greece, bits of Spain, bits of Malta and bits of lots of other places if you take the time to look

Though people who (a) live there or (b) stayed a small distance away from the centre may claim otherwise, Golden Sands is, in my mind, essentially just one long road. It starts with an Ampitheatre and ...
...Quick' hats. We stayed in Golden Sands for a week and very rarely strayed off this one road, as everything you need for a relaxing holiday is pretty much right there.

By day, the promenade is busy but not packed. By night it fills up drastically and it can be hard to move quickly, which unfortunately gives the leaflet touts chance to grab hold of you. Having established they all seemed to speak both German and English, we promptly ... more

There's a song that features on the soundtrack of many of my favourite films that goes:

"No matter where we go,
London, Paris, Rome,
It feels like Anywhere, USA"

It's never something I really understood, since to me those three capitals are all very different from each other, and to anywhere in the USA that I've been, but I figured it was written by someone who'd never actually left the States, and who based their assumptions on the Hollywood version of Europe that comes across in films. But, then I went to Bulgaria, and a week on my overriding thought is that Golden Sands could have been anywhere, really, or at least any package holiday destination - it has bits of Greece, bits of Spain, bits of Malta and bits of lots of other places if you take the time to look

Though people who (a) live there or (b) stayed a small distance away from the centre may claim otherwise, Golden Sands is, in my mind, essentially just one long road. It starts with an Ampitheatre and ends, several kilometres later, with a holiday village, with a wealth of all things touristy in between. The road is partly pedestrianised, and runs alongside the sea, making it akin to Blackpool's promenade but with slightly fewer bad drivers and 'Kiss Me Quick' hats. We stayed in Golden Sands for a week and very rarely strayed off this one road, as everything you need for a relaxing holiday is pretty much right there.

By day, the promenade is busy but not packed. By night it fills up drastically and it can be hard to move quickly, which unfortunately gives the leaflet touts chance to grab hold of you. Having established they all seemed to speak both German and English, we promptly decided to speak Spanish whenever they came into view. My Spanish is pretty limited, so I suspect that by the end of my week everyone in the vicinity knew that "Quien no ha visto Sevilla no ha visto Maravilla" since I parroted it again and again.

Eating and drinking in Golden Sands, you might forget for a moment that you're in Bulgaria. As you walk along the promenade you come across stands selling candy floss, popcorn and whippy ice cream. To both sides of the path are bars, restaurants and cafes selling a whole range of cuisines, mainly from other countries. Italian food is popular here, but so are Chinese, Turkish and, unfortunately, establishments offering 'full English brekfasts'. We went to a place called 'The White Lady' several times because it was one of the larger places near our end of the prom, and had everything from crepes to ice cream to fruit salad. On my birthday we went for lunch at an Italian further up the strip, and confused the staff by skipping the main courses in favour of starters and puddings, something they seemed to be unused to, I think mainly because since prices are so cheap, people tend to order more than they might at home and either eat it all or just pick at it.

As a Brit the food here is, on the whole, almost but not completely like you would expect. So, for example, if you order a fruit crepe you get you pancake and your fruit, yes, but you also get an inordinate amount of perculiar cream and thick dollops of sickly sweet 'fruit' syrup on top. Fruit salads also come with cream and sugary sauce, and when you dig deeper for the fruit you find there's not all that much - often just a banana and some apple pieces, perhaps with an orange segment or two. The ice cream is edible but hardly up to Italian standards - in fact, it reminded me a lot of a trip to Hungary in 1990. when I returned there 11 years later their ice cream had move on, so perhaps there's hope for the future in Bulgaria, but right now their ices just taste of, well, Eastern Europe. One thing I very much approved of, however, was the brand name drinks (Pepsi, Coca Cola etc) and the size of the servings. Though Western Europe may opt for those pathetic little 250ml bottles, I never got less than 500ml when I ordered a soft drink over here, which means that a drink can be twice as cheap and last twice as long - bargain.

Halfway along the promenade is 'The largest Big Wheel in Bulgaria', but when we came across it I'm afraid my first thought was 'Ok, so is this also the only Big Wheel in Bulgaria?' It's more 'Blackpool's Central Pier' than 'Vienna's Riesenrad' but I suppose if you're a child it still looks pretty cool, and it lights up beautifully at night. There are various other attractions along the street. Every 100m or so you come across trampolines, but unfortunately these are of the bungee variety (conversely more dangerous than normal ones for trained bouncers such as we, and lacking the fear factor) so we passed on these. However we noticed several very small children strapped into them, who I suspect would have been turned down if the trampolines were in Spain or Greece rather than here. They were so small they needed someone to throw them up and down since they never reached the trampoline bed, and the harnesses looked too loose to be really safe. The British Gymnastics coach in me was cringing, but the parents seemed unconcerned, so we just wandered on.

As we walked we were lapped, again and again, by the mini-trains that run up and down the otherwise-pedestrian street. These were garishly coloured, as were the hairstyles and clothing of their passengers, leading us to an impromptu song-writing session one night:

"The fugly train is coming
And everyone is fugly
They are so friggin' fugly
It really is not funny."

I blame a stint in Germany and my German-born companion for the Vengaboys influence, honest. The, ahem, visions upon which our eyes rested were beyond what you would perhaps sea in the Costas because of the clientele who frequent Bulgaria: due to its location it is full of Rumanians, Russians and Poles as well as the usual Brits, Germans and French.

Next we came to the living statues - the same kind you find in places like Rome, Paris and Sydney, these were just the same without being quite as good (they moved and talked far too much for anyone to believe they weren't real). They also didn't seem to all have hats or cups laid down for donations, so I'm not sure how they made their money (interestingly the people who did have donation cups out-held - mainly middle-aged men in wheelchairs who may, or may not, have lost a leg or two at some point in the past - were paid next to no attention by the masses who passed them). Also nearby were more than a few 'Retro Photo' studios where you and your nearest and dearest could pose for photos while donning the same, sweaty outfits worn by the hundreds who have passed through there before. The photos aren't cheap, you have an audience of people pointing and laughing while you pose and, if you're like some women we saw who were more than a size 12 or 14, you may end up standing there with your knickers showing as your outfit doesn't come near to fastening at the back. Brilliant entertainment, of course, but not for the people paying for the privilege of being there.

Minigolf, bumper cars, a human catapult, and a few other fairground-style attractions complete the active part of the street, but we didn't try these out though others seemed to be enjoying them. Instead, we went shopping - at the stands, stalls and shops that litter the streets. The main offerings seemed to be (potentially fake) cheap designer labels, (probably real) expensive designer labels, Russian dolls, tacky ornaments (the same ones found all over the world including, I should add, some shell ornaments I once bought from a pier in Blackpool, about 15 years ago), that sort of thing. DVDs and CDs were also being touted but their authenticity was hard to determine, and I suspect that at those prices some if not all would fail to work properly when you got them back home.

Though there were plenty of night clubs and pubs to while the night away in, most nights we ended up at one beachfront bar or another having a drink and chatting. We attended two 'free' evening shows in bars (though were charged 1 Lv each for one of them). One was some slutty dancers and Tom Jones/Elvis - we weren't sure which one we got as it alternated night to night and you couldn't tell from the performer. The other was a water-based show in a bar with a pool. The compere spoke Russian, English, German, Italian, Rumanian, Polish and any other language his guests were speaking, but was troubled by word order when speaking to us. "Swimming synchronized show" he beamed, "Come and see the swimming synchronized show". We went, we saw, and we left half way through, but it was certainly something different.

Speaking of the pools, that was something interesting. Along the promenade there were a few swimming pools open to the public (free but for the cost of the sunbeds and parasols). We stuck to our hotel pool instead but these places did seem very popular during the day, perhaps with those lazy souls who were not up early enough in the morning to bag a lounger or two at their accommodation.

We stayed at the Iberostar hotels, which were at the end of the promenade, about a kilometre away from the action (and noise) of the centre. The resort boasts a huge number of hotels of varying classification and several apartment complexes, with the vast majority located on the beach or at least with a view of it. While we were there we saw lots of signs advertising complexes nearing completion that were being marketed at overseas visitors for investment in 2nd homes - from what I could make out the aim wasn't to get you to actually move there permanently, just to buy a place there and occupy it for a few weeks a year, while of course paying all the service charges on the place whether it was vacant or not. There are so many agencies offering help, I believe, because property buying here is not straightforward, and as overseas nationals you would actually have to set up a Bulgarian business first before you would be allowed to purchase property.

So after all this, would I recommend the place? We had a fab week because all we wanted to do was indulge in the 'S's - sun, sea, sand and spa treatments - which is exactly what we did. We went in mid-August and had fab weather - early 30s most days, with a water temperature of about 25 degrees. It was nice to be somewhere fewer people have been, and it was nice to have the duty free prices too - Bulgaria's not set to join the EU until next year. I would recommend going once to see the place, but I won't be rushing back just because I feel I've seen beach-Bulgaria now, even though we only went to one resort. As for the property that's popping up everywhere? Well let's just say, it's a nice place to visit….but I wouldn't want to live there.

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You don't need to be able to speak or even read Bulgarian to holiday here, though a smattering of German seemed to go further than a smattering of English if our experience is anything to go by. For once I didn't even bother to learn the basics of the language, but I doubt I'd have had the chance to use them even if I had, since everyone assumed you wouldn't speak any Bulgarian. Turns out, they assumed right.

Golden Sands is served by Varna airport ("the 2nd largest in Bulgaria" is still tiny) about 30 mins away. Varna city is slightly nearer and is a nice half-day out. Other excursions include 'Bulgaria without make-up' where you go into a 'typical Bulgarian house' (or as 'typical' as any house can be, when it lets 20+ tourists march through it every day), trips to Rumania and Turkey, and to the waterpark on the other side of Golden Sands (entrance is about 20 Lv so it's not dirt cheap).

Spa treatments are widely available at many hotels and you don't have to be a resident to indulge, but they get booked up so plan ahead. Typical prices for these and other items are below.

(1 Lv was 35p when we were there)

A 45 min massage - 45 Lv
A facial - 25 Lv
A manicure - 20 Lv

A whippy ice cream - 1 Lv
A bottle of water in a shop - 0.70 Lv
A bottle of water in a café - 2 Lv
A coke in a café - 3.5 Lv
Sex on the beach (obviously the alcoholic version) - 7 Lv

A crepe from a stand - 3 Lv
A bar of Lindt - 8Lv
A small local chocolate bar - 0.80 Lv

A small souvenir e.g. magnet - 3 Lv
A medium Russian doll - 10 Lv

Prices are a bit all over the place - some things are very cheap, but some cost as much as they would back home, it all depends on where you go. Eating in Varna was much cheaper since it is less touristy - there we got quite a bit of change from 10 Lv when we went out for lunch in a nice restaurant. Take currency with you if you can - we struggled to find a functioning cash-point while we were there, but managed in the end and I still found this easier than going to one of the currency exchange places (plus, since I bank with Nationwide, it worked out cheaper too since I had no commission and preferential rates).

www.goldensands.bg

<< For the Ebony and Irony explanation, see the hotel write up - needless to say, venturing outside the hotel offered even more opportunities for Irony to shine and Ebony to bronze >> 

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