Wannabe writer/critic currently selling PCs - and my soul - at PC World. Spent a lot of time crashi...
Wannabe writer/critic currently selling PCs - and my soul - at PC World. Spent a lot of time crashing intellectual parties in Prague. Now being nice on Ciao! UK.
Member since:13.12.2000
Reviews:116
Members who trust:39
I was a nervous wreck when I got there. My Manager had barrelled along the motorway to the BirminghamHilton at around 110mph, fag in one hand, mobile in the other, sometimes negotiating bends by steering with his elbow. I'm a bit of a nervous passenger, and my life flashed before my eyes on several occasions.
I was at the NEC for a PC World conference. A year's worth of dealing with the public had earned me a customer service award, and I was chosen to attend the yearly software conference, PC World's most lavish and important bash. No expense was spared - not only was I accomodated for two nights at the Hilton Metropole, but I was fed, watered and pumped full of booze, all at the Dixon Group's
expense.
Now THAT was impressive - the only money I spent in two days was £3.60 on a beer - the scale of the tab Dixons picked up for that conference must have been gigantic.
The Hilton Metropole is a strange place. On the outside, it looks a little like a prison - all blackened brick and bars on all the windows. In fact, it makes the Overlook Hotel look like Butlins.
The lobby is undeniably impressive. Marble floors and chandeliers, with a plush - if somewhat gloomy - bar off to oneside. The bar itself is open around the clock, but to make use of this twenty-four hour oasis of booze, you need to have not only a resident's card, but also a hefty overdraft.
The scale of the place is enormous. It's like a small town of suites, conference rooms, and restaraunts. Something like seven hundred of us from PC World spent the days trudging from one end of the massive complex to the other for one software presentation, then back again for another.
This all took it's toll on me. I like time to myself, so spending all this time completely surrounded by the diehards and like-it-hards of PC World gave me a fearful sense of paranoia.
My room was on the top floor, and it wasn't quite what I expected. For someone like me, the word 'Hilton' is synonymous with 'Quality'. I'm sure there are many luxurious suites and staterooms within that hotel, but mine wasn't one of them. It looked exactly like any twin room in any roadside travel inn. I got the Alan Partridge feeling the second I walked in the door.
But who was I to complain? I had my en suite, I had my TV, and I had my trouser press. One night I was even tempted to tap into some porn, but I didn't fancy paying for my 'Miscellaneous Services' in front of a crowd of seven hundred of my "Colleagues".
The conference itself was a strange mixture of bizarre extravagance and excruciating boredom. The introductory show was hosted by Nick Owen. I vaguely recognised him off daytime TV. He sat at his desk and conducted a series of interviews with various bigwigs from the group, like they were the celebrities. It was a strange feeling sitting in a room full of PC World employees, watching a D-list celebrity conducting a TV Chatshow with PC World hierarchy, to which we were the only audience.
The main meal and entertainment was held in the Hilton's largest hall, and it was an absolute knockout. The theme for the year's show was Pixar's 'The Incredibles', and the whole hall was decked out in a space aged theme, with stars twinkling all over the walls. We were seated and fed, and whenever the wine or beer ran out, all we had to do was signal for more.
Paul Ross was the MC for the evening, and suddenly I was fearing recieving my award. What would I do if I had to get up on stage in front of hundreds, and Mr Ross cracked a joke? Would I stand there like a muppet and laugh along, or would I crack one back and risk dying on my arse? Luckily, my award was relatively small fry, so all I had to do was stand up at our table while people clapped and others shone spotlights in my eyes.
In the end, I couldn't take it. I've never been a company man, and the sight of all these company types patting each other on the backs made me feel a little left out. So I polished off another bucket of Bud, grabbed a couple and headed back to my room, where I stumbled around for twenty minutes before going to bed.
The next day after a decent buffet-style fry up, I kept myself to myself. I needed some time to myself. Luckily I found a high backed chair in the bar that I could hide in, drink some coffee and smoke some cigarettes.
So in all, I wasn't too impressed by my first Hilton experience. It looked hideous, and all the surface luxury faded away to travel inn mediocrity. Plus, I hate to say it, anywhere that charges £3.60 for a beer is never going to get my vote. Find a nice B & B instead.
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eight miles from the city centre The Hilton Birmingham Metropole has recently benefited from a 20 million refurbishment programmeThere are 790 Contemporary bedrooms ...
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Price is per double room per night and may vary depending on date booked...
The Hilton Birmingham Metropole is a modern property adjacent to the National Exhibition ... more
Centre, one mile from the airport and eight miles from Birmingham city centre. The 794 air conditioned guestrooms are decorated in light, warm tones of cream and b...
Information:
Price is per double room per night and may vary depending on date booked...
The Hilton Birmingham Metropole is a modern property adjacent to the National Exhibition ... more
Centre, one mile from the airport and eight miles from Birmingham city centre. The 794 air conditioned guestrooms are decorated in light, warm tones of cream and b...
Information:
Price is per double room per night and may vary depending on date booked...
Mar 8th, 2005
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