Holiday Inn Express (Liverpool)

I may have the same initials as Judith Chalmers but other than that we have very little in common. I am not a woman, for instance. I don’t have a rather eerie permanent orange tan. And I don’t get paid bucketloads of money to stay in the world’s premier hotels. Hence a few weeks back I found myself staying at the Holiday Inn Express in Liverpool rather than some luxury villa in Barbados. Oh well.

LOCATION

The hotel is in Liverpool’s Albert Dock, about 10 minutes walk from the main city centre. The hotel is housed in a Grade One listed warehouse, retaining some of the original features within such as huge red painted iron doors.

Attractions like The Beatles Story, Tate Liverpool, Maritime Museum, The Liver Building and (last but not least) Fred’s weather map from “This Morning” are just a couple of minutes away. Liverpool Lime Street station is a fair trek, though.

BOOKING

The hotel seemed to be the only place in Liverpool available over Grand National weekend that was charging less than £200 per night, so we had very little choice. Booking is available via the Holiday Inn website (www.hiexpress.co.uk) but I chose to phone central reservations. Everything was fine until I asked to pay by debit rather than credit card – for some reason this meant I had to book direct through the hotel, which was a bit more hassle but also resulted in £5 being knocked off the bill. Wahey!

CHECKING-IN

Although Grand National weekend must be the busiest of the year in Liverpool the checking-in procedure was pretty quick and efficient. Once we arrived at the hotel we were directed upstairs to check-in by a rather miserable looking bloke at the front desk, but everyone was really friendly after that.

We had booked a twin bed room, but as it transpired a double had become available:

“Would you like to change to a double bed sir?”
-“No thanks, two beds is fine, thanks anyway”
“Because it’s no problem, we do have a double bed available…”
-“No, honestly, we don’t want a double bed”
“It’d only take a second to change you to a double bed…”
-“LOOK, SHE’S MY SISTER, I DON’T WANT TO SHAG HER!”
“OK sir…”

THE HOTEL

The hotel has 117 rooms sprawling over 5 rather huge and featureless floors – you can tell this used to be a warehouse. There seemed to be plenty of car parking space available as the view out of our window was of the biggest car park in the world. To be fair, if you craned your neck you could see Liverpool Cathedral and the Mersey.

Access for disabled visitors could be a problem as the hotel is surrounded by cobbles and a downstairs lobby by the lifts also has a cobbled floor. The lifts are terminally slow and it was usually quicker to opt for the stairs.

There are no health and fitness facilities available although guests can use the Cannons Health Club next door at discounted rates. The hotel bar is right next to the check-in desk and didn’t appear that inviting, but there are plenty of places to eat and drink around Albert Dock.

A buffet breakfast is provided so I made sure I scoffed as much as possible for the long train journey ahead whilst my sister just nibbled at a triangle of toast.

THE ROOM

Each room has a modem point, phone, hairdryer and TV (with some satellite channels) – things are on the whole kept fairly basic, and have obviously been designed to be low maintenance and theft proof! You can’t even move the coathangers!

We were just looking for a clean, comfortable room for the night and therefore we weren’t disappointed. This is not the lap of luxury but it is basic, good quality accommodation. The room was a medium size and had the usual desk, wardrobe, bedside cabinets etc. etc.

The beds were comfortable and the shower was hot and powerful. The bathroom was fairly cramped and tended to get a bit waterlogged when anyone had a shower, but it was good enough for me.

There were 12 pay-per-view movies available, “Moulin Rouge”, 5 films I hadn’t heard of and 6 porn films. Which needless to say I also hadn’t heard of!

NICE TOUCH

After checking in and pottering round the Tate Gallery we came back to the room to find a complimentary bottle of plonk because it was Grand National day. Yay! Unfortunately we didn’t have a bottle opener so had to resort to hacking at the cork with knives and nail scissors in a desperate attempt to get at the alcohol within.

Unsurprisingly we failed, eventually taking the bottle down to reception – “You should have smashed it open and drunk it with straws” the reception bloke advised me. He kindly removed the cork and asked if I wanted to keep it as a souvenir – err, no.

NOT SO NICE TOUCH

When we eventually staggered back in the early hours it proved really difficult to walk on the cobbles in high heels – I knew all along that wearing them would be a mistake. When we tried to get into the hotel we had to have our names checked against a list by some bouncer-type blokes, which made us feel like naughty schoolchildren.

CHECKING OUT

Took a little longer than checking in but nothing more than 5 minutes. The staff were friendly and efficient and seemed to actually enjoy what they were doing, which was nice to see. It might just have been that they’d had a win on the horses. We paid £89 for one night, which was obviously inflated because we booked late for Grand National weekend – the usual price seems to be £60-70, and special offers are available making the price nearer £40.

OVERALL

I was very satisfied with the service I received at Holiday Inn Express and would definitely stay with them again. It’s the sort of hotel that does exactly what it says on the tin.