Hotel Omni Mont-Royal, Montreal

...can tell you now; the Hotel Omni would be a darn good choice for your stay. As soon as you walk in, you're in a marble tropicalia, with a big statue of a woman sitting down by reception and some of the most ludicrous chandeliers you've ever seen hanging from worryingly thin cables. Check-in wasn't much of a pain at all, which is always nice, and we went up to our rooms straight away, although the bell-boy had offered to take our luggage, which was ...
...pool.

The Hotel Omni has the shallowest swimming pool I can remember, and I consider myself to be quite the connoisseur when it comes to holes filled with water, roped off and injected with chlorine (that's right, I know chlorine is injected into swimming pool water, your secret is out, swimming pool attendants). Even at its deepest I could still kneel and keep my face above the water, and when you factor in the knowledge that I am ... more

Okay, this is my first travel review, as such, and that puts me in the dangerous position of being up for comparison with Koshkha, Richada and Torr, all of whom are brilliant at holiday writing, and are, in my opinion, possibly the greatest Writers Of All Time (although I haven't read anything by Dickens yet). So if you want to compare me to them - please don't, because I'm a fragile person. Right, disclaimer out the way. I went to Canada with my family this year, and our first stop: Montreal.

In Montreal, you could find yourself staying in a Hotel, and if this is the case, then I can tell you now; the Hotel Omni would be a darn good choice for your stay. As soon as you walk in, you're in a marble tropicalia, with a big statue of a woman sitting down by reception and some of the most ludicrous chandeliers you've ever seen hanging from worryingly thin cables. Check-in wasn't much of a pain at all, which is always nice, and we went up to our rooms straight away, although the bell-boy had offered to take our luggage, which was damned good of him, considering my granny never carries less than twice her own weight in clothes.

If you summon a lift from the lobby, it'll appear quickly, which is nice, but if you happen to be on a different floor, like the 8th, then you'll find lifts can take ages to get to you, accompanied by strange creaking noises it's best to try and ignore. However, the lifts themselves are large and mirrored, which my sister appreciated. They're quick to dart from floor to floor once you're in them.

Our room was ridiculously large, enough space for our entire family to live in, if they'd wanted to, but across the hall were larger wonders, a room which was split into three sections (I saw the door open and wandered in, see, being naturally inquisitive). It even had a doorbell. Our room had none of that, but it did have two large beds, a chest of drawers, two wardrobes, a desk and chair, plus two "pluffy" (a word of my own invention) chairs, which partially absorb you when you sit in them. They were nice. We also got a view of the back of an office building, and if you looked straight down you could see the swimming pool.

The Hotel Omni has the shallowest swimming pool I can remember, and I consider myself to be quite the connoisseur when it comes to holes filled with water, roped off and injected with chlorine (that's right, I know chlorine is injected into swimming pool water, your secret is out, swimming pool attendants). Even at its deepest I could still kneel and keep my face above the water, and when you factor in the knowledge that I am quite short, although not as short as Tom Cruise, you start to see the problem. Jumping in is out of the question, which meant we were faced with the scary task of having to walk into the pool every time we wanted to use it, and it's ALWAYS cold when you walk into a pool. Always. But on the plus side, to get to the pool you walked through this neat tunnel made of plastic, which is a bit like when you walk through those underwater bits of Seaworld with the sharks, y'know? We enjoyed that.

There's also a gym, which we studiously avoided, but contains all manner of funky looking technical equipment and scared us somewhat, and there's a day-spa somewhere on the premises that we couldn't find. The bar is by the side-entrance, and my dad informs me that after buying two drinks, he now has no money for my sister's university fund. So avoid the bar, people, unless you're loaded. Obviously, we didn't spend much time in the hotel, because there was so much to go and walk to.

The hotel is located just off Rue Saint-Catherine, which is the big street in Montreal. Walking down it one way takes you to the theatre district, walking the other way leads to the pubs and bars of Montreal, and that's the only way we walked. Also within district is Montreal's underground city, although you have to be a wizened eye demon to find it, unsigned as it is. The metro is spotted all round the area too, which links everywhere around the city if you're feeling lazy/are fat/have no legs, and you can walk from the hotel to Old Montreal in around 20 minutes, going past the University and some nice statues as you do. It's in a great location.

Going back to matters of the room, the beds were good for bouncing, which is my immediate test upon entering any hotel room. Several times you jump onto a bed and smash your face into the hard cardboard surface of a starched mattress, but here the beds were springy and comfortable. There were a load of cushions to choose from, although I found they were so plumped up that your head tended to end up at a right angle to the rest of your body as you tried to get to sleep. Oh, also, there's a stupid window right next to the bed of the left hand-side, which doesn't have curtains, but wooden slats instead, which don't close properly so you get woken up every morning by that shiny ball thing in the sky. It also opened up, apparently, which is great if you're a suicidal kinda person.

The bathroom was reasonably sized, being about the same size as any standard university hall of residence room (I'm not bitter, I'm not bitter…), and it had a shower/bath in it which required several minutes of intelligent thought to work out. It was all well set out though, and towels frequented. The maids were nice, and they gave us endless quantities of towels/napkins/soap/chocolates every day when they did their housekeeping duties. There was a bit of soullessness about the place, but I always get an instinctive feeling of that whenever I go somewhere with marble floors. I must be a peasant.

So all in all, the rooms were nice, clean, the staff helpful, the windows inappropriate, the pool kneelable and the showers warm and powerful. It's in a great location, and I guess I recommend it, although I've never been to any of the other hotels, so maybe they're good too. 

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