Hotel Samoa, Majorca

...guessed, I stayed in the Hotel Samoa.

The room itself is very average. It was medium sized with a double bed, wardrobe, television and a bathroom. The bed was a bit unusual - it was actually two normal beds pushed together. This was somewhat alarming on the first night when me and my boyfriend repeatedly rolled into the middle and had it collapse underneath us. Yes, it doesn't just fall apart slowly - if you go near the middle and ...
...days.

The hotel is all inclusive, the food is mixed really. For breakfast I tended to just get cornflakes or other cereals (don't get the milk, it's hot for some reason, and hot milk and cornflakes is horrible) with orange juice. My boyfriend went with a typical english breakfast of sausages, egg etc, whilst the others went for salads. There's a good enough variety, and breakfast is between 8 and 10 each day. Lunch tended to be bad ... more

I have just got back from a weeks holiday in Majorca. Where, as you may have guessed, I stayed in the Hotel Samoa.

The room itself is very average. It was medium sized with a double bed, wardrobe, television and a bathroom. The bed was a bit unusual - it was actually two normal beds pushed together. This was somewhat alarming on the first night when me and my boyfriend repeatedly rolled into the middle and had it collapse underneath us. Yes, it doesn't just fall apart slowly - if you go near the middle and dumps you on the floor, which is horrifying the first time! The bed covers feel somewhat like shower curtains, but once you get used to them and train your body to stay on one side it's fine.

The TV is free, you can pay for a remote but really you can do it by yourself by getting up easily enough. It has two english channels - BBC1 and BBC2. After a certain point each night BBC1 dies which is a bit weird, but you get used to it. I'm pretty sure the sports channel is also in english, but as neither of us watch that I can't gurantee. The rest were not.

The shower is fine, it has everything you need really. Our toilet had a habit of dripping all night but it wasn't loud enough that you could hear it if the door was shut. You can hear a lot through the pipes - if your neighbor or someone above of you flushes their toilet or runs the shower, you'll know about it. The bath is not big enough to fit two adults seated in it, but it serves it's purpose.

You also get a balcony and ours was fine, we had a nice view from it and I enjoyed it. It also has a table and two chairs already out there, so if you want to just go and have a sit down or use it to dry your swim clothes on you can.

The room was not airconditioned, so we rented a fan. I believe it cost 3 euros each night. It's a lot when it's pretty much an essential object and the fan is a bit unusual. Ours clattered really loudly on the lowest setting but the fan noise overpowered the clacttering on the higher two options. It did it's job and made it survivable!

The disadvantages to the room are that the walls are quite thin. As in, someone can walk past your door and you'll hear them. In some cases we thought that people knocking on the door two doors away from us were actually knocking on ours. You can hear EVERYTHING that's going on in the corridors, but not so much what's going on in the rooms next to you or above you. Because of the noise problem, you can't turn your TV up very high, but high enough for you to be able to hear it. There is also a very loud karaoke club outside and at first we didn't think we'd ever sleep as the noise travelled right in, but you get used to it and it does have to stop at a certain time. There is only one plug in the main room, so you have to make a decision as to whether you want the TV or the fan. Keeping the balcony door open keeps the room cool enough most days.

The hotel is all inclusive, the food is mixed really. For breakfast I tended to just get cornflakes or other cereals (don't get the milk, it's hot for some reason, and hot milk and cornflakes is horrible) with orange juice. My boyfriend went with a typical english breakfast of sausages, egg etc, whilst the others went for salads. There's a good enough variety, and breakfast is between 8 and 10 each day. Lunch tended to be bad as there just wasn't much variety. While you can make a sandwich for breakfast, for some reason you can't at lunch. I usually went with solid bread rocks and sometimes chips - which I must say, are absolutely delicious and available every day. Lunch is between 1 and 3. Dinner really is the best meal of the day. There's a good variety, the options change every day. So it's pretty much a guarantee you'll find something you like for this, and if not bread, fruit and chips are always available. For some reason you cannot get orange or apple juice for lunch or dinner in the main hall, but all the other rooms still serve it so if you really want that you can still get it, it's just a bit of a hassle. Dinner is 6:30 - 9:30.

The swimming pool is a bit of a disappointment. For a hotel of that size, it's very small and often cramped and crowded. We generally went in the evening just before dinner as this was the only time we could be in there without constantly being bashed. The entertainment is...interesting. To be honest, it's somewhat annoying hearing each line in five different languages, but I can understand why they'd have to do that. One of the entertainment nights was excellent, the rest have either been average or awful! But it's free and it's something to do, you might like it. There is also crazy golf which is free and quite good. It's quite shaded by trees so you won't be passing out from the heat while you're doing it, and there's a good variety. It's not very crowded either, there was only one other group playing when we were there. You can play tennis and football etc, though there is only one court so expect to have to fight for your place.

Calas de Mallorca is the other side of the island to Palma, but it's well worth a visit. It's around two hours to get there and buses are frequent. I warn you now, the buses can be quite scary. They do NOT work like they do in England. Often the buses don't actually tell you where they are going and in some places such as Manacor it is absolute chaos. This sounds bad, but people in Majorca don't seem to know how to queue. So while we formed an orderly queue for buses, often the people that lived there literally threw us out of the way and were throwing people off the buses. This happened in more than one location. So if you're going on a long trip, I'd recommend you go with one of the ones the hotel has organised. Around the hotel there are some good places only twenty minutes or so away, the caves of drach are excellent for starters. A bit further away you could try aqualand or marineland - but I'll save all that for another review! The bus stop is literally right outside the hotel.

The town is very touristy. You'll find some shops that are a bit out of the ordinary but the others tend to sell the same sort of things. It's literally across the road from the hotel so it's not a struggle to get to. If you are going with younger children you might want to check out the shops a bit before allowing them to, as sex related objects are absolutely everywhere. I was amazed. In sweet stands you'll find penis shaped lollipops, in the inflatable store there is an inflatable penis, there are DVDs for sale right in the open. I know it's funny to read and you'll probably find it amusing if you are there, but if you are going with younger children that you want to hide that from, seriously take a look around first so you know where to watch out for. The beach is only a ten minute walk or so but it's very crowded so get there early. It's very small considering the size of the town so expect to fight for a place. 

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