Well, what can I say, early 30s, neurotic, bon viveur. I have broad interests, strong opinions and ...
Well, what can I say, early 30s, neurotic, bon viveur. I have broad interests, strong opinions and love debate. And oh wow... Now I have a platform to be opinionated on.... If you want to get hold of me, drop me a line on tigger@dial.pipex.com
Member since:02.04.2004
Reviews:4
Members who trust:3
Up until recently my partner and I were what one could dub “cruising virgins” though for a number of years we discussed back and forth the possibility, but had been put off by the cost as for most cruises there is a vast financial outlay which would be unfortunate if you did not enjoy the experience. We are a couple who like active, busy holidays, but with both of us being under vast amounts of pressure at work, my father dying and no holiday for over two years we were prepared for something a little less active. Earlier this year we were discussing what we would do for a holiday this year as we walked past the window of a local travel agent. In the corner there was a small advert for a cruise with flights departing Bristol. Intrigued by the low price we made enquiries. It was for the Mediterranean Spirit itinerary of Island Cruises with flight departing Bristol. We took the details and decided to think about it. I am glad we did as when we decided to go we contacted the cruise company direct and although it was the same travel group by booking direct we go upgraded to an outside cabin four decks up and got a class upgrade on the flight as well and the price was the same as the travel agent quoted (about £550).
What no-one mentioned is that the flight from Bristol airport departed at around 5am, requiring a devilishly early start and I would say that eating breakfast is a wallet cripplingly expensive experience in the airport. Check-in with First Choice was smooth and straightforward and the flight departed on time. It is a flight shared with all the other First Choice package holidays going to Palma, so even at that time in the morning it was VERY loud. The cabin crew were very pleasant, but did encourage you to spend money buying items on the flight, including lottery tickets to win First Choice holidays and the sell is relentless. Upgraded passengers like us get the first 6 rows of the plane and get complimentary headphones and the first drink free, along with a snack. Everything else you pay for and regular passengers pay for everything. But the cabin crew will happily inform you that the huge bill you run up keeping the family quite and fed is not a problem as they will take all major credit cards.
Excellent landing, and then a VERY long trek to the other end of the airport to collect the bags, then all the way back to original end of the airport. Here you are greeted by Island Cruises staff who provide you with luggage tags and a selection of documents to fill in and to inform you about life on board. The luggage tags are of different colours. Note DO NOT remove them from your baggage for your length of stay as you will need them when you leave. The tags are different colours to indicate what flights you came in on / will leave on and what cabin you are in. Then it is onto one of the fleet of coaches that are waiting to whisk you to the port. On the coach you have to fill in the forms with your credit card details if you would like automatic billing for expenditure on board (the alternative is cash or cheque but you will have a VERY VERY long queue to wait in to pay on the last day). An important note here we enquired what currency we would be billed in as depending on what it would be would define which card we used (to minimise international currency charges). No one really seemed to know but no-one admitted not knowing so we got a different answer from everyone we asked. The actual answer is that everything is billed in British Pounds, NOT Euros.
Once at the port, you collect your bags out of the coach and stand in the queue for embarkation. Crew mill round provided drinks and answering questions where possible. It is slightly shambolic but it all works out fairly expediently. They take your picture, process your credit card if necessary and issue you with boarding cards. These plastic credit cards are your onboard life, so don’t lose them. You use them to pay for stuff on board, identification and they are scanned in and out when you stop in ports. The photograph taken is so they can check who is leaving / boarding at each port for security. As part of this process you wave goodbye to your bags that will be manhandled to your cabin by the crew for you to be reunited with them later.
Then onboard, the entry point is Deck
5 (Diamond Deck), which is accessed via a rather steep ramp from the quay (which is level with Deck 3 – Aqua Deck). Before hitting the ramp though you have to run the gauntlet of the photographer. This individual is I must confess one of the few incredibly rude crew members on board, resulting in us submitting a formal complaint about his behaviour (more about this later). You can’t get past him without being manhandled into a pose for your boarding picture (which you are later strongly encouraged to purchase for £9.99 and the quality is poor).
On board you get cabin card keys and an escort to your room by one of the staff. Note that your bags will be scanned everytime you board or disembark, sometimes multiple times. It is not an inconvenience, just useful to know as you can be prepared for it and also have your ID card ready for scanning.
Onboard the ship was clean, though the décor was dated and it had a certain “Love Boat” feel to the décor.
The Itinerary was:
Day 1 - Flight to Palma de Majorca, and board Day 2 - At Sea Day 3 – Messina, Sicily Day 4 – Naples, Italy Day 5 – Livorno, Italy Day 6 – Toulon, France Day 7 – Barcelona Day 8 – Palma and home
It is worth noting at this stage that Day 1 is always Tuesday…
Once onboard and unpacked we grabbed a snack and ventured into Palma. It was at this point that I discovered that the Excursion / Reception staff while happy to press you into purchasing and excursion knew very little about the ports we were in and couldn’t help with directions or other practical information for solo excursions. However I did discover that a very pleasant, clean bus runs from the main port building to downtown Palma (do note though there is an excellent shopping mall only about 15 minutes wlak from the port). I would recommend you have a Spanish phrasebook to hand though as many locals, including the bus drivers do not speak English. Palma is delightful to wander round and the Cathedral is magnificent. Make sure you return to the ship in good time before departure as the WILL leave without you if you are late. Having said that we left Palma nearly 2 hours late due to late arrival of one of the flights with passengers and the Sail Away Party on the deck didn’t happen.
And now, the facilities:
Cabin:
The cabins are small which comes as a shock to many but they are very thoughtfully laid out with a surprisingly large amount of storage. If your luggage can fold up so much the better, but don’t forget there is space under the bed to put suitcases. By default the cabins are set up as twin beds, but these can be easily converted into a double, just let your cabin steward know. The cabin was immaculately clean and our cabin stewardess was an absolute angel. Nothing was too much trouble, she was very pleasant. Our cabin was promptly made up in the morning and the bad turned down every evening and several times she fashioned charming animals out of the towels. Great fun!. The furnishings were dated and the bathroom fittings slightly stained with a crack in the shower glass. A function of age more than anything demonstrating the whole slightly tired look the ship had. A refurbishment would not go amiss. The cabins can take up to 4 people (bunk beds), but I this that would be rather uncomfortable. The soft drinks from the “mini bar” in the room were expensive compared to the UK, but very much in line with the prices at all the ports we stopped at, so don’t feel ripped off. NO drinks except tea and coffee (and we later found out hot chocolate) are included in the price of the trip. A last note, the cabin was surprisingly quiet…
Pool / Deck Area
The pool is miniscule, more like a large hot tub. There is acres of sunning space, including a section of deck for topless sunning. There is also acres of flesh on display, often just on one person….. Bikinis were out in force on people of every size (and not just the women). There is a very well equipped bar by the pool and a number of leggy lovelies circulating and checking if you want a drink every few minutes.
Gym
This is well equipped and staffed most of the day with an experienced gym instructor. Excellent facility
Salon / Hairdresser
In the salon there is a sauna (1 male / 1 female) available to use for £5 for the duration of your stay. There is also a wide selection of beauty treatments and hairdressing options available. Book early in your stay as the slots book up very fast. I had a facial, a chest wax and a manicure. My therapist was delightful and pleasant but somewhat inexperienced, particularly in the waxing that was patchy and left me with a few bruises. Do note that the staff in the salon change every six months or less.
Internet Access
Nice facilities, terrifying pricing.. And a tendency to cut out regularly as the ship appears to have a less than robust satellite connection. I would advise visiting an internet café in one of the ports if you need one.
Photographic shop.
Expensive! The photograph wanders round taking pictures of you whether you like it or not and then they make a concerted effort to sell them to you at about £10 per print. The quality is poor and the poor cropping and composition show his inexperience. At dinner in the Oasisrestaurant he came round taking pictures. While he did politely ask if he could, he didn’t take no for an answer. The group at out table asked for no photos and he proceeded to thrust his camera in each persons face in turn and take a picture anyway. He later repeated the same exercise resulting in us writing a complaint to the Hotel Services manager.
Casino
Nice, good fun place to play for the evening. On the day at sea they give free lessons which are excellent. The croupiers are fantastic. It is small though and can get crowded.
Bar / Lounge
The Bar / Lounge area is very nice and normally has a pianist (Lazlo) or guitarist (Richard) playing. There is a wide variety of drinks and cocktails on offer at moderate prices and they will make any cocktail they know of for you even if it is not on the menu.
Lookout bar / nightclub
This is a peaceful, lovely out of the way spot right on the highest deck. There is a fabulous vista and comfy chairs. We would grab afternoon tea from the Beachcomber buffet and sit curled up with a book, tea and cakes… bliss. There is also a fully equipped bar here and at midnight it turns into a nightclub. We never went to it as a nightclub so have no opinion.
Shopping
The shopping area is small and rather disappointingly naff. The selection of perfumes is not bad however. They have daily specials (so check the schedule – you may get a bargain) but these are laid out like a market stall and feels very tacky.
Bounty Lounge
This is home to Butlins style games, including daily bingo and cheesy cabaret from rather mediocre talent. They do try hard, but ultimately their superior attitude and smugness does spoil things. Aside from the photographer I would say the entertainments staff, especially the singers in the main theatre shows were the worst to deal with. They were insufferable smug, excellent at ignoring you or being abrupt when you wish to speak to them and are staggeringly rude to the other staff. Most had huge egos but sadly did not have the talent to go with it.
The Theatre
The theatre s home to the shows put on aboard ship. They are mostly short (about ½ hour) with very mediocre performers. The lead male single actually had not a bad voice (though strutted around the ship like a big name star) but was shall we say … tubby. Seeing him squeezed into lycra or tight little T shirts was really not pleasant. If you want to see a show you have to grab your seat a good ¾ hour ahead of time as seating is very limited. They do have a bar though and will encourage you to run up a tab. The Theatre is a great place to hang during the day if you want somewhere quite out of the sun. It is an oasis of calm and at about 4pm watching the show rehearsals is kinda fun
General Entertainment
There is always something going on aboard ship, which are listed in Island Chat, the daily onboard news sheet. Though a did notice that some items were cancelled if they deemed no-one interested but none of the people already in attendance or about to arrive were informed, the entertainments staff just left. The entertainment is very much in the Butlins red coat Hi-De-HI sort of vein. Fun and silly, but of dubious quality.
Childrens Facilities
Childrens facilities are very limited and this cruise really is not that kid friendly. There is a kids club that does 2 2 hour sessions a day for different age goups. Enough for a brief break for the folks, but that is it. These are during the day so you will have to stay on board to use these sessions and not do excursions on that day.
Food
Café Brasil
This Internet Café / Coffee Shop helps you bump up your bill with pricey cake and coffee Two floors up at the Beachcomber it is free. There is a selection of board games here though which are available for use a couple fo hours a day.
Beachcomber This is a 24 hour buffet. It is a complete free for all with limited seating. This means that it is often very difficult to find a seat, especially at main meal times. It is worse when the weather is bad as the outdoor seating is closed meaning the café loses more than half its seats. At sea dining outside is a experience, as despite the sun there is often high winds. It was amusing watching my cup of tea take off and leap over board. The food is average, much like a motorway services. The selection is reasonable, with there normally being 4 or 5 hot meals, cold meats and salads, a dessert bar, a fruit bar and selection of breads. Tea and coffee are also on tap. The menu selections change every 3 hours. At breakfast there is a wide selection of breakfast food s and mid afternoon, tea, sandwiches and cakes are served. The food is all included in the cost of your holiday and it is hard not to over eat. Directly about the Beachcomber and sharing the seating area outside is a bar. Midnight munchies or bedtime hot chocolate are real positives with a 24 hour location
Island Restaurant Do not be fooled. Although this only opens for breakfast, lunch and dinner the food is exactly the same as that at the Beachcomber, just with more service though still buffet style.
Oasis Restaurant
This is the posh restaurant of the ship and reservations are essential. The food is definitely a cut above the other locations, but do not reach the heights of what I would call fine dining. The food is very pleasant though and the service is fabulous. All the dining room staff, especially the Oasis were brilliant. About ½ the items on the menu have a small surcharge (usually about £2 – £4) representing them being posher ingredients. The surf and turf (steak and lobster) did have an £8 supplement though, but this was still very reasonable. Dinner here is normally 4 courses and there is a good wine list. Important tip. If you wish to dine here several times, as we did, you do not have to book every day separately, you can reserve a table for the duration of your stay and they will ensure you get the same table and wait staff. We had a lovely table by the window so we could watch the sunset and fantastic waiters.
Excursions:
Island Cruises like to you take excursions as they are charged separately and are not cheap (between £25 - £60 per person). You are regularly encouraged to buy excursions and are made to feel you are missing out if you don’t. They even offer a price incentive, but only if you take an excursion at every port (and the incentive is small). Do not be pressured, make up your own mind and only choose those that are worth it to you. There is however a good selection of excursions in each port. But pick carefully….. Also note that the morning tours tend to depart rather early needing an early rise if you want breakfast. Tip: The Med is a HOT place, so take water on your excursions. We bought chilled 1.5 litre bottles of water from the Island restaurant at breakfast. Many fellow travellers got 500ml bottles of water at Café Brasil for only 20p less while waiting for the coach.
The trip
At Sea
The day at sea was pleasant and we did the spa, familiarised ourselves with the ship and settled in. We were glad it was the first whole day as we could settle in and not get too bored, if it had been later in the cruise it would have been staggeringly dull.
Messina, Sicily
We chose to do the combined Mount Etna & Taormina tour. Provided by Trumpy Tours this would normally be a great tour but for a couple of things. The first being our tour guide who although had reasonable English spent most of the tour telling us about the flora and all their latin names, rather than about the places we were visiting. Secondly we managed to get the worst weather is 60 years on Mount Etna with practically horizontal rain and fog with visibility of less than 5 yards. We had a very pleasant lunch atop Mt Etna before heading for Taormina which is a fantastic hillside town. The shopping is lovely but expensive and the local specialty is outstanding marzipan in amazing shapes, and soft almond biscuits. I would recommend this tour, though I would hope next time for better weather and a better guide.
Naples, Italy
We took the Pompeii Tour (also provided by Trumpy Tours) that was excellent, but frustrating. Pompeii is amazing and fascinating and the 2 hour tour only whetted my appetite. I found myself desperate to spend more time there. Some visitors decided it was boring and too hot after only 1 hour. Magnificent! The only marring of the day was as we left. A pair of passengers on our cruise had been abandoned by their taxi driver at Pompeii and desperate to get back to Naples to not miss the boat. They asked if they could come back on our coach. We had a member of the entertainments team with us as a “minder” and she flatly refused, telling them that as they had got their own way here they would have to get their own way back and if they were late they would miss the boat and have to find their own way to the next port. At that point she practically had a riot on her hands with the other coach passengers incredulous that she behaved this way. One or two even suggested we leave her behind. It was made clear to her that the two people would be coming back to the ship with us whether she liked it or not. So she sulked in the back of the coach all the way back to port.
Naples is pretty and exceedingly expensive for shopping. Great ice cream though! There is also a lethal road you have to cross to get from the port to the city. Beware of the motorcyclists on the pavement. They consider themselves to have right of way even on the pavement and will mow you down.
Livorno, Italy
Most excursions from here go to Pisa and Florence. Having seen both we opted not to take a tour but to amble round the town. It was uninspiring, but not bad shopping. It should be noted that as it is not a tourist centre almost everything shuts from lunch time until 4pm. We did find a great, local restaurant and had some of the freshest seafood you can imagine. Then afternoon tea on the boat.
Toulon, France
The Sunday market at Toulon is fabulous and only a 10 minute walk from the ship. There is also a guided tour of the town in a land train with regular departures from the port. This is provided by the tourist authority, not the ship and thus you will not find out about it until you have already forked out for the excursions on the ship.
We did the Flavours of Castellet tour which was very poor. The village of Castellet is very charming, but you are whisked through it at speed with little time to enjoy the views and quaint shops and the church which was billed as t tour highlight was closed. It was then on to a vineyard for a wine tasting.. Well really it was just like a timeshare advent. A lengthy advent for the wines of the vineyard and only tasting 1 red, 1 white and 1 rose (the cheapest ones at that) of what the place produced, followed by a hour for purchasing their ware. AT over £30 the tour was very bad value.
Barcelona, Spain
Wow, wow, wow. Amazing city!! Skip the onboard excursions at £30+ they are all a rip off. Just step of the ship (mind the huge security) and get on board one of the city tour buses. There are three tours, blue, red and green covering different aspects of the city. They have commentary in several languages and you can hop off / hop on at a selection of attractions for photos etc. And at about 1/3 of the price of the ships tours and absolute steal. There is also an excellent underground. For the adventurous don’t bother with a taxi, it is a mere 10 minutes to Las Rambles and a gentle stroll up this pedestrians avenue takes you into the heart of the city..
Palma
On the last night you pack up your bags (making sure the correct colour tag is still on your bag), pay your bill if you haven’t given a credit card. If you have paid by credit card you can take this opportunity to keel over at the mount of spending you have racked up onboard. Just before bed put your suitcases outside your cabin door (though I would advise against doing this naked as I did… people notice). These are collected and disembarked before you and await you on the quayside.
In the morning it was an early rise and breakfast with announcements through the morning for flights. When you flight is called you disembark and are whisked to the airport for check-in and the flight home. The tannoy is not always clear, so pay attention.. you don’t want to miss you flight.
Conclusion
First and foremost I would say this holiday made us realise that cruising is the kind of holiday we would like (so long as there is no significant amount of time at sea). It was enjoyable waking in new ports every day. Sailing away at night was a joy. It is an fantastic way of holidaying. We also realised that this level of cruising was not our style. Some people may consider us snobs, but we would prefer something a little more upmarket and just a touch more formal (though not stuffed shirt). I am 32 and my partner 30 and there is a whole new generation of cruises that are more upmarket catering to our age group. I think in future we will opt for one of those.
Having said that for a Butlins style atmosphere, informality and some sillyness this cruise is ideal and would be a fantastic alternative to your regular package holiday. Just bear in mind it may not be as cheap as you think when you add in the extras.
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loved every line of this review, almost felt like i was there experiancing it all! have never been on a cruise so i guess i must be a "cruise virgin" too :) but sounds like just the type of holiday i would enjoy!
Calldean 10.01.2005 20:17
Great review. Takes us back to being there ourselves in May!
Sunshine22 30.09.2004 13:43
Haven't tried this sort of holiday, you made it very interesting...Congrats on the Diamond
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Aug 18th, 2004
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