Miami International Airport (MIA)

Miami – Florida, with a population of two million, is one of the US’s most hip and happening cities.
On a geographical location of 26º North, and therefore benefiting from almost constant year-round sunshine, many of the world’s rich and famous have chosen the place as their second home, buying beachside real-estate for millions.

Tourism is a major industry of Miami and Dade County, with miles of white sandy beaches that border ...
...Royal Caribbean International) both choosing Miami as their home port. The city is also a major transit area for most of the world’s leading airlines, and is widely recognised as the USA’s gateway to the Caribbean.

So, you’d expect such a vibrant place to have a super modern, ultra efficient airport wouldn’t you?

Well, if that’s what you’d expect, you’d be wrong. Even though MIA (Miami International Airport) handles ... more

Miami – Florida, with a population of two million, is one of the US’s most hip and happening cities.
On a geographical location of 26º North, and therefore benefiting from almost constant year-round sunshine, many of the world’s rich and famous have chosen the place as their second home, buying beachside real-estate for millions.

Tourism is a major industry of Miami and Dade County, with miles of white sandy beaches that border clear Atlantic waters, a fashionable city centre with chic shopping and trendy nightlife, and the world’s two largest cruise ship operators (Carnival and Royal Caribbean International) both choosing Miami as their home port. The city is also a major transit area for most of the world’s leading airlines, and is widely recognised as the USA’s gateway to the Caribbean.

So, you’d expect such a vibrant place to have a super modern, ultra efficient airport wouldn’t you?

Well, if that’s what you’d expect, you’d be wrong. Even though MIA (Miami International Airport) handles 14 million overseas passengers a year, and is the US’s third busiest international airport, modern and efficient it aint.

On arrival at MIA, the first impression gained from the aircraft window is of a place that has a real ‘buzz’ about it: the runways cross diagonally, and there is always a plane either landing or taking off, with long queues of taxiing aircraft on the aprons. Bermuda shorted and polo shirted ground staff zip about in pick ups, and it all looks so intense, as if it’s been plucked straight from the opening scenes of an episode of Miami Vice. I was half expecting Crockett and Tubbs to leap from the open top of their sports car wearing espadrilles and Ray Bans and get stuck in unloading a few cases.

The ‘buzz’ of MIA however, ends there.

On entering the airport’s one terminal via air bridges from their planes, all arriving passengers are funnelled into a five metre wide corridor, for passports to be checked at two desks. Bearing in mind that I arrived on an American Airlines Boeing 777, closely followed two MD83s operated by Aeromexico and Alaska Air, so that equates to about six hundred people trying to cram into area fifty metres long by five metres wide. (Had the other two aircraft been any bigger, perhaps a Boeing 747 which can carry 400 + passengers as opposed to the 160 of the MD83, that really would have been interesting to see and I may have had to make a quick call to Norris McQuirter to check the present record.) Not surprisingly, the corridor quickly turned into survival of the fittest, and along with my wife, I eventually squeezed by a bored looking customs man who glanced at our photos then waved us through - forty five minutes after we had first stepped off the aeroplane.

From there, the throng of people, growing increasingly tired and agitated are herded along to a wide hall where a dozen customs desks await. There are no ropes or queue dividers – oh no – so it becomes an American version of the TV show ‘Runaround’ (hosted by Mike Reid in the eighties): queues of people hesitantly amble towards one desk, only to see that another further down the line is coming free, then its “G-G-G-G-G-G-GO!” and two dozen people run for the same desk at once. The use of elbows and knees is acceptable, and biting and gouging is the order of the day.

Eventually, after joining the queue behind an Latvian family who had brought a whole mule-train of bags with them and seemed to have a never ending supply of kids with runny noses, we passed by the desk without incident or smile. We had been in that particular queue for fifteen minutes.

The next chapter of this epic adventure is the baggage reclaim. By the time we had reached the carousel, the cases were already on their thirtieth lap, however, we couldn’t get anywhere near them for people, as several queues snaked around the hall, with yet another customs check point as their destination. Elbows and knees, biting and gouging etc etc…..we dragged our cases off the carousel and joined a queue of our choice.

It was at this point that I witnessed an occurrence of such gross incompetence that I still find it hard to believe:

A suitcase had been left standing by itself in the middle of the baggage reclaim hall. Clearly unattended, it remained there for the full twenty minutes that I was queuing. On six separate occasions it was pointed out by various people to airport staff, and on each occasion the staff member looked at the baggage label, shrugged their shoulders and walked away. The whole situation was made worse by the people manning the customs desks, as on two occasion I saw them allow people back through customs and into the baggage reclaim as they had been separated from their families – so people walked back in, potentially from outside the airport building, stepping over an unattended case....

And this is a country that has stepped up its security measures to counteract the threat of terrorism?

Eventually, on reaching the customs desk, and once again being quizzed on whether I was carrying any vegetables or soil samples, I decided it was my turn to point out the unattended case, upon which, the customs man replied:

“Oh don’t worry sir, I’m sure they’ll be back to collect it.”

…I think he missed the point somewhat.

Miami International Airport: leave a bomb in the arrivals hall if you really have to, but if you try and smuggle a bag of potting compost into the country, oh boy, you’re in big big trouble.

As there is no facility for transit passengers in Miami – nor in any other US airport that I know of, the final phase of our tumultuous trial was to stand outside while my wife had a quick ciggie (terrible habit!) and then to immediately join another hundred metre long queue to, once again, pass back through customs and passport control. After queuing for thirty minutes this time, we eventually managed to get though to the departure lounge to see that our onward American Airlines flight was already boarding.

I think my brain boiled round about now: we’d allowed well over two hours connection time between flights. All of it was used up in queues.

Incidentally, on both my outbound and return trips through Miami, nobody collected my green exit card, so officially, I have never left the US, and as far as the US authorities know, there are still two of me living there illegally, probably manning a customs desk or something like that.

So what are the shops, restaurants and bars like in Miami International Airport? No idea, haven’t got a clue. We didn’t have time to sample them, and judging by how empty they all were, neither did anybody else. I truthfully have never seen an airport where the facilities are so underused, and I exaggerate not.

Before we boarded our Barbados bound aircraft, my wife did manage to nip out of the queue, run and grab two ham and cheese baguettes and two small bottles of water – which came to twelve dollars. Pretty standard sort of price for US airports.

What’s the airport décor like? Seventies concrete and fake marble by what I could see, however, there were so many people queuing in all directions that all I could really see was a ‘person shaped pattern’ on floors, against walls etc.. Oh, and of course, where you get an abundance of a person shaped patterns, you generally get the customary ‘litter motif’ scattered around. Miami appeared to be quite keen on the ‘litter motif’, although, to their credit, there were plenty of staff fighting a losing battle to try and keep the place looking tidy.

In nutshell – a nutshell that has been reached in a meandering sort of way, Miami International Airport is not a place I would recommend to anyone who is in transit, and in fact, I would go as far as to say avoid the place whenever it is humanly possible.

I have never been to an airport that has suffered from such woeful organisation and planning. It is the sort of arrangement you would associate with a backwater Greek island at has just experienced a major tourism boom, not a leading US city that has been steadily growing for decades.

If it is not possible to avoid Miami, say, for instance your final destination is Miami, then at least you know once you get through the last line of customs desk your ordeal is over. I seriously recommend that you allow AT LEAST three hours to check in.

If you are using Miami as a transit stop however, good luck and may the force be with you.

Miami Vice? Miami International really is enough to drive you to it.

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Below, I have listed a few facts and figures that may help you through your hour(s) of need:

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OFFICIAL WEBSITE
www.miami-airport.com

INFORMATION DESKS: An Information Desk is located on the 2nd level in Area E. (Be prepared to queue!)

TERMINALS
1 (a new American Airlines Terminal is planned for 2006).

TRANSPORT TO MIAMI & ELSEWHERE
Taxis are readily available (and to be honest, unavoidable!) directly outside the arrivals hall, as are buses from the Metro-Dad service, which link the airport to all areas of Dade County. (Taxis cost approximately $25 to Miami and the bus $10)
A ‘Super Shuttle’ bus service is bookable at a desk in the baggage reclaim area. This service, although a little more expensive than the Metro-Dade, is a direct link to Downtown Miami. (It costs $16 for a one way trip)
Car hire companies’ desks are dotted all around the airport, and again, are virtually unavoidable. (Average cost of car hire is $40 per day for an E4 car)

FACILITIES
Restaurants/Fast Food/Bars – Burger King, Pizza Hut, Caribbean Cuisine, Hole In One, Café Versailles, Margarita Bar, Budweiser Brew House, Hammerhead Bar, Chilli’s Too, Guava & Java, Cazzoli’s Pizzaria, Starbucks, Nathan Hot Dogs, and various sandwich stands are located throughout the terminal.
Shops- duty free, Eddie Stephen’s Men’s Shop, Sunglasses Hut, cameras & accessories shops, and various new stands.
3 pharmacies, art gallery, hairdresser and a chapel.
3 banks offering currency exchange, and an extensive range of cash machines.

AIRPORT HOTELS
There is one hotel located at the airport, unoriginally named The Miami International Airport Hotel, although within the neighbouring five kilometres there is a wide array of Holiday Inn, Sofitel, Wyndham, and Hilton establishments.

WHEELCHAIR ACCESS
The whole airport is designed to be wheelchair friendly, with ramps and/or lift to all areas, and disabled rest rooms in all concourses.

PASSENGER FIGURES (PASSING THROUGH MIA PER YEAR)
Total Passengers 30.1 million
Overseas Passengers 14.3 million

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