Mont Clare Hotel, Dublin

The Mont Clare hotel is part of the O'Callaghan hotel group that encompasses the Davenport and Alexander Hotels, with all three in close proximity to each other. Of the three, the Mont Clare is the cheapest and lowest rated (3-stars). Unfortunately, it charges 4-star pricing that really isn't deserved by any stretch of the imagination.

My overwhelming impression the moment I walked in the door was brass: lots of it. This was immediately ...
...is a struggle. The Mont Clare is located on a busy stretch of Dublin's one-way system through the Merrion Square area. The fact that it's a main junction probably doesn't help the noise levels, purely because there's a low drone followed by the sound of scores of cars and buses accelerating on green. Unfortunately, in the land of Dublin, this means traffic noise levels are definitely noticeable late into the night, particularly from Wednesday onwards, ... more

The Mont Clare hotel is part of the O'Callaghan hotel group that encompasses the Davenport and Alexander Hotels, with all three in close proximity to each other. Of the three, the Mont Clare is the cheapest and lowest rated (3-stars). Unfortunately, it charges 4-star pricing that really isn't deserved by any stretch of the imagination.

My overwhelming impression the moment I walked in the door was brass: lots of it. This was immediately before the sinking feeling I get when I know I'm in a hotel that lacks inspiration, and also fails to make up for it by having the reliable, attentive customer service that succeeds in spite of the infrastructure.

Think mahogany veneer with attempts at paisley carpets and patterns, and you'll have a fairly good idea of where this is going. Add a level of rickety, with the constant smell of fags in spite of being located in a non-smoking room, and you'll be getting there. Getting a quiet room is a struggle. The Mont Clare is located on a busy stretch of Dublin's one-way system through the Merrion Square area. The fact that it's a main junction probably doesn't help the noise levels, purely because there's a low drone followed by the sound of scores of cars and buses accelerating on green. Unfortunately, in the land of Dublin, this means traffic noise levels are definitely noticeable late into the night, particularly from Wednesday onwards, and always hefty early in the morning (from 6.30 am onwards).

Breakfast (not included in my rate of €109 exc taxes) is an utter rip-off. Continental breakfast is your safe and cheaper option (€10). Unless you get to the breakfast room at 7.30 a.m. you will find that your toast is always burnt on one side. Cereals and croissants are no better or worse than any other 3-star hotel, although I'd love to see someone get those badly wrong, just to know what could result. Nevertheless I was grateful for the tinned grapefruit as a rare source of vitamin C. Good-quality fresh fruit didn't really figure on the Mont Clare menu and your stay is poorer for it. Portions for the hot breakfast (usual sausage, bacon, mushrooms, egg fare) were stingy. Sourcing decent sausages and bacon can't be that hard for a hotel of any level. It's not as if the €15 per head charge for it won't cover the cost. Perhaps I'm being unreasonable, but I working on the basis that if I could cook the stuff better, it's probably not worth paying that much money for. Coffee and tea do what they say on the tin only: filter and bags. I never saw the huge, industrial espresso machine in action once during my stay, other than to fills tea pots with hot water.

At least the cooking is consistent throughout. Room service, like breakfast is edible but overpriced. In comparison to somewhere like the Camden Court, there is more choice in terms of feeling as though a number of dishes could act as dinner. And to be fair, the standard of cooking is a lot better than the Camden Court, but this really shouldn't count for anything as a comparison. Salads are at risk of being drowned in sauce, literally, so if you are seeking this out as a low-calorie option, you are likely to be disappointed. The options closest to resembling pub-grub could constitute the safest choices in terms of being least likely to disappoint, so we're talking the steak sandwiches, etc. Anything with chips, basically (not much seems to come without).

To be fair, I ought to be grateful for the fact that staff are all smartly attired and are polite and attentive, but it's all terribly sterile, as if by acting as 'professionally' as possible, people are hoping we'll forget that some of the showers don't work, or that the legs of tables are wonky, and that the dial-up on the phone doesn't actually work. One colleague had his laundry lost twice in two weeks. The hotel's excuse was that it wasn't reasonable for him to expect a good level of laundry service, as it was only a 3-star. Well, my dears, if you're only a 3-star hotel and you can't provide all the services listed properly, don't bother offering them and start charging 3-star rates deserving of the service that is on offer.

(Point of note: the rates that are displayed in travel systems for the Mont Clare usually exclude taxes, so the cost per night to include tax and breakfast will easily hit €130 instead of the €110 that is advertised, for example.) 

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