In August of this year I was lucky enough to spend a few weeks travelling Provence and the South Of France. Here is what I had written at the time of my Monte Carlo experience...
After spending the last few weeks travelling the south of france in a motorhome, i thought i would share some of my experiences with you lucky lot and not least because i recieved the credit card bill through the post today!
The journey into Monte Carlo is quite unimpressive, very industrial and stark contrast to the picturesque landscapes surrounding Monte Carlo. You get the first taste of its financial implications by the increased frequency of the tolls upon its approach. It seemed like there was a toll booth on the roads every 10 mins as opposed to the every couple of hours we had experienced around
Provence.
We arrived at night, a bit "blind". by that i mean with no campsite booked and no idea where to park up our home for the night. A quick drive through the very windy streets with sharp gradients and we found ourself at the port which proved to be our trouble-free home for the night. The port itself had parking restrictions but we made ourselves as inconspicuous as a 40ft motorhome could be and slipped on our least creased and tatty clothes and was able to walk straight into the bar area and past the most luxurious yachts i have ever seen.
As we were there for one night only the plan was to take in the sights, hit the casino and generally have a good ol' gawp at what there was to see..... and that there was plenty!
The bars themselves did not seem anything special. A quick overpriced drink in stars and stripes only a minutes walk from our motorhome gives you a taste of what monte carlo is all about....seeing and being seen.
From stars and stripes we followed the harbour round on foot staring unashamedly at the very very expensive yachts moored up...apparently you can pay to have dinner on the decks and let the many tourists stare at you with envious and hungry eyes. My 25ft Jaguar weekend sailing yacht seemed worse than a pedalo at that moment and at one point I was even found salivating profusely at one Caymen Island registered monster yacht....one day....one day i had to remind myself!.
The walk round the harbour takes to you to the grand casino which is an absolute must should you go to Monte Carlo. Part-owned by the Monaco Royalty - the Grimaldi's, it is the very essence of Monte Carlo - Big, Oppulent, Ostentatious and Brash.
The valet parking gathers a bigger crowd than many Football crowds. Its all about who comes out of what car. The tanned fake boobed women dripping in gold accompanied by their equally tanned and generally older companions. It was almost like a parody...a cliche if you will but like any car accident.... you cant help but stare now matter how awful it is what you are staring at. Cars with values equal to the GDP's of many medium sized countries made to an impressive parade and for all you car enthusiasts to which i am not there was two ferrari daytona's (apparently only 15 left in world) and more bentleys than a premiership clubs car park.
Unable to get into the main casino due to the no open toed footwear policy - all that dressing up to no avail, we decided to to have a drink at stars and stripes again mainly due to its good people spotting location, and there we sat sipping Kiri Royals (£8 a glass) and played the "spot the plastic surgery" game..... not a hard game to play. Back to the motorhome, relief it was still there and had a generally unproturbed night. Had a walk round in the morning past the tacky Ferrari and Porsche souvenir shops and after all the visual bliss of provence felt a bit hemmed in so decided that a visit up to castle wasnt needed and just needed to go somewhere where tight faced old leathery men/women were not in abundance...... stupidly headed for Nice....where there's plenty.... but more of that another time.
Summary
Overall Monte Carlo is nothing better than a glamourous freak show.... you go there to see and be seen and i found the whole place, gaudy without being tacky and monied without the class. Plenty of suntanned Italian men eye candy for the ladies... and enough boats and cars to keep even the most ardent anti car/boat person happy. I would not reccommend more than a couple of days there and bring fake tan and shoes!...oh and free parking at the port :)
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Advantages: A great challnge for the drivers with a prestigious prize for the winner. Disadvantages: Cramped, overtaking is non-existent, can be a terminally dull race.