National express

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Go By Coach, But Die Trying.

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1 Aug 28th, 2003 

43 Ciao members have rated this review on average: very helpful

Advantages:
well, you get there in the end .

Disadvantages:
unhelpful staff, no legroom, dingy old depots

Recommendable No:

Detailed rating:

Quality of Rooms

Customer service

Frequency of bus / buses

Value for money

Reliability

PrincessGem

PrincessGem

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Member since:14.03.2003

Reviews:68

Members who trust:43

Readers of my other ops may have noticed I don't drive and am a bit of a seasoned rail user. Those of you who've escaped my babble before will still probably have heard news of the recent 'engineering works' on the Birmingham - London rail route (among others). Unfortunately for me, it's essential that I travel that route on a fairly regular basis if I ever want to a) see my family and b) go to University. And since I've just had to go house-hunting (don't ask) in the wake of the trainline upheaval, I decided, like the idiot I am, to use National Express coaches to 'save any messing around'.

Big mistake.

I decided to book the tickets for me and my mom over the internet on the National Express website, gobycoach.com. Once it loaded, all was well and good, we booked the times we wanted, clhecked the 'collect tickets at station' box because we were travelling in 2 days, and were done. It all seemed fairly straightforward, we didn't even need to print off stupid vouchers or anything, just tell them who we were and our tickets would be waiting.

On the day of the trip, we went, armed with the credit card we'd booked on, just incase, to the hellhole that is Digbeth Coach Station in Birmingham. My mother used National Express way back in the Victorian era when she was my age ;) The funny thing is that this place hasn't changed in all that time. It's still cold, damp, draughty, and filled with staff who, quite frankly, couldn't give a flying you-know-what about you, even though you're PAYING THEIR WAGES!

On arrival at the information desk, we were told they were experiencing computer difficulties and the tickets hadn't been printing out. Fantastic. So what did we do? Well, we needed our 'reference number' if she was going to do anything about it. Well we didn't have our reference number, of course, because not one thing on the website or the confirmation email told is we needed it. Usually I'm one of those people who saves and prints EVERYTHING, but you never need it and I wanted to travel light this time. I suppose I should have known. When we said we didn't have our reference number the reaction was "Well I can't do anything then, sorry" And the eyes of Mrs National Express headed toward the next customer. How's THAT for customer service?

Bear in mind this was early in the morning and I wasn't in a good mood. So I said "well, it's not our fault, it doesn't say anything about NEEDING that reference number". The assistant, ever helpful, informed us that there was an internet terminal in the waiting room and we could use that to retrieve our ref number. Of course, we had to pay for this.

Alas, even though we payed 50p for 5 mins on the net, I could't access my email, and the national express website is about as much help as my arse. In the end I found a customer helpline phone number on their site and decided to waste some more time and money. I called and got yet another wonderfully eloquent young lady who couldn't locate our tickets, even with full name and credit card number. So what did she do after about 8 minutes fruitless searching? Put me through to the internet help department - a phone number which, of course, is not found on the website.

They found my reference number in about 2 seconds flat (after I recited my email address about 5 times. "NO, G. G G G, not J. Gem with a GGG.")

On return to our good friend at the information desk, having just spend god knows how much calling a peak rate number from my mobile phone, we still didn't get our tickets. Instead, because of these computer problems, we got a piece of paper with a computer printout, a stamp and signature on. This was fine on the way there (yes, at the end we DID get on a coach) but caused us problems on the way back the following day (of course).

The coach. Space is kept to the absolute minimum. I'm 5'7, average build and had one bag. I just about fit comfortably. Anyone taller / bigger / with more hand luggage would have problems. The air conditioning worked, there was a toiler and a sunroof that opened and greeted us with both a draft AND the nice ripe smell of manure all the way up the motorway. I'm a country girl and I found it hard to bear.

London Victoria Coach Station. Our destination. We got there only 10 minutes late. And what a wonderful smelly, crowded and badly signposted place it is. I still remain clueless as to why all coach and bus depots smell of wee.

Our return journey was at least on time, and I have no qualms, in theory, about the journey TIME. The driver, however, was of the 'I'm doing YOU a service. So do as I say, lesser-beings' camp. If he cracked a smile, I think I'd die of shock. The lovely, understanding man even shouted at a flustered looking lady with a baby who was two minutes late and just ASKING if there was still a seat for her. There was, but he made her feel oh so guilty about holding us up even though we didn't get going for another 5 or 10 minutes.

The less said about our travelling companions the better. They were all paying customers like myself so I should respect them. But honestly, I do wonder sometimes if there's a requirement for Nat Express solo travel that you must have BO, only three brain cells OR be foreign with only a very basic understanding of the English Language, and huge thighs that take up 3/4 of your neighbours seat as well as your own.

Oh, and you have your headphones on but the music so loud I can STILL sing along to Beyonce Knowles the whole journey.

At least the music was good, eh? 

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Comments about this review »

Clazu 22.06.2005 13:50

I went on a journey with National Express too, I had to travel on 3 coaches to get where I was going, and three back. I have to say that the deal of £10 each way was goo, but that was about it. I totally agree that they are crap! I sent a complaint to them 2 weeks ago and have not received any reply. In the end we caught a train home for the last leg. I couldn't even sit by my boyfriend we had to sit by smelly strangers that wouldn't move for us, because they had no friends! The one girl my boyfriend sat by apparently had stinking feet, and kept taking her shoes off!! Aparently they almost touched him at one point!!! Eww...

eve6kicksass 14.12.2003 09:26

Wow, that was ridiculous what you went through...I'll be sure never to ride with them. Chris xxx

Sweary 25.11.2003 16:08

I liked the bit about the huge thighs, I always get that on airoplanes and they're alwasy in the aisle seat so I have to climb over them to get out. As for Digbeth... well, I'm not sure if I should say this or not, please feel free to rap my kuckles if it's going too far but I used to know somebody who worked there. He told me that once he happened upon a large lady sitting on the side of one of those huge blue dustbins - you know the industrial ones with the wheels and the sliding lids - in mid afternoon, with her knickers round her ankles doing what came naturally. Apparently the door of the ladies loo was about a metre further on and when quizzed she said it was too far to walk.... No wonder National Express are building the new coach station in a different part of Birmingham!

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