Hi! I'm Tony, 55 years old chronologically, but nearer 25 mentally and physically (!), living in a v...
Hi! I'm Tony, 55 years old chronologically, but nearer 25 mentally and physically (!), living in a village in the Pennines with my wife and cat. As you can see, girls, I bear a striking resemblance to Indiana Jones. Oh, except I'm a Grumpy Old Man.
Member since:18.10.2006
Reviews:5
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NILE CRUISE: PART TWO ***********************
Having had a fair number of favourable comments on my first attempt at a Ciao review, and having re-read my offering, and those of the much more experienced reviewers here, I thought I'd put a little more flesh on its bones, as it were; beefed up by some of our more personal experiences, and a little more detail in terms of the sights encountered on our last little jaunt into the larger world. I'll flesh out the archaeological and cultural sites visited later, if anyone's interested.
First and foremost, in terms of visiting Egypt, and particularly the southern region, where Luxor and Aswan lie, it must be stressed that we took our cruise & stay holiday in June of this year, (2006) which is low season, because of the extreme heat. God knows what the place must be like in August! Holidaying on the surface of the sun must be vaguely comparable. However, as presumably with the surface of the sun, it's a dry heat, so much more tolerable. We are talking about a holiday in the eastern Sahara Desert here, after all.
High season in Egypt is during the winter months: Nov, Dec, Jan, Mar: and the cruise/stay prices are correspondingly higher, but temperatures are more amenable to Northern European ideas of 'holiday temperatures'. But the tourist crowds are worse during the high season, making the Valley of the Kings look like Oxford Street on a bad day, without the benefit of a John Lewis, or a pub. At least, despite the hundreds of people thronging the tourist sites in June, you have time to enjoy the neck-hair-raising experience of actually entering the tombs of Rameses 1, Rameses 2, Tutmosis , and the rest of the gang, and smelling the marginally unsettling odour of the long dead in these places, & there is time to study the hieroglyphs, workmanship and sparklingly colourful and mystical 3000 year old frescoes without being swept along on a tide of humanity. I'll revise that statement: we couldn't quite be certain of the origin of the curious smells in the tombs in the Valley of the Kings: it's quite conceivable that they may have emanated from the living, rather than the long dead. In fact, more than conceivable, frankly.
MS SUNTIMES ****************
The cruise ship we ( or rather my wife) had chosen was the Suntimes, one of a small fleet of Nile cruisers operated by a German company, www.grand-cruises.com , which company had been subcontracted by Panorama Holidays to provide the Cruise element of our holiday. Board basis was All-Inclusive. (!). The website above may give you some idea of the style of the ships on the Nile. They are much like beefed-up Mississippi Steamships, minus the rear paddle-wheel but with added Germans.
Consequently, the vast majority of our fellow passengers were German: out of a total bunch of around what we estimated to be about 130 passengers, there were around 30 Brits. As a result, we had our own English-speaking guide, Rami, and our own half-empty coach every day, which suited us just fine. The Germans had their own fleet of coaches to take them on the daily excursions, and of course got to assemble and leave for the trips first, they being Germans. Suited us just fine: that meant we could have a more leisurely breakfast, but got to the sites at around the same time as them. Age groups on board ranged from around 20-somethings to 70-somethings: a good mix. One child on board: Jason, ( not his real name), who was 12, and consequently looked after by the crew & staff like he was a Prince. We know this as Jason & his mum & dad were on our table, (the staff thoughtfully don't mix nationalities when allocating the fixed meal tables) and of course, on our coach every day; and he averred to us that he didn't mind at all being the only kid on the trip, as he didn't like kids. Fine: Jason was happy with it.
Internally, the ship has 5 decks, with the lobby/reception and main bar (with more seating available than there are passengers,
btw) on the 2nd deck. Up the resplendent return staircase to the 3rd deck there is a shop, selling Egyptian stuff at roughly twice the price you can get elsewhere, hairdresser/beauty therapist/massage place, sparkling chandeliers and a man trying to sell you videos of your trip, as he patrols the bar/entertainment area at night, eagerly capturing the more bizarre antics of the passengers as they struggle vainly to come to terms with the concept of free unlimited alcohol.
I exaggerate, of course: it was only us Brits who seemed to have a good time at the bar/entertainment place: the Germans, preposterously overdressed, pompously self-important, and unfeasibly over-gilded and bejewelled, as usual, ( & that's just the men), eyed the relatively subdued behaviour of us Brits with suitable Teutonic disdain. In that we actually danced to the music, sometimes, on the tiny dance floor, especially the gang of about six 20 to 30 year old Scottish girls who were part of our company and very good fun. Shockingly degenerate behaviour on our part! Po-faced gits, sometimes, middle-aged Germans are, honest. And I'm no Magaluf-style- tattooed-shaven-headed-cheap-sportswear-bedecked Chav, despite allegations to the contrary, I'll have you know! Well, not recently anyway.
It was fine by me, however; I keep myself to myself, although one or two of our little gang of Brits did have minor brief but non-violent verbal altercations with a couple of the more bejewelled and elaborately-quiffed Teutons who made their displeasure clear at having their crap waltz-style dancing interrupted by 25 year-old Scots girls shaking their booties, inappropriately during such up-tempo-beat-tunes as 'Dancing Queen'. I rest my case.
Evening entertainment. ************************* If you're on a relatively small boat in the middle of the longest river in the world, in the middle of the Sahara Desert, your evening entertainment options are fairly restricted, it must be said. You certainly don't want to go out and 'explore the town next to which you're berthed', as with Mediterranean Cruise ports of call. And I'm fairly adventurous. This concept would be much like thinking of having an evening out exploring Mogadishu after nightfall in search of an interesting seafood restaurant, especially in Esna and Edfu, both of which towns make Mogadishu look like Florence, believe me.
However, every evening in the huge bar there was at least one 'act' on every evening, which was always entertaining. We were all on free drinks, for God's sake, so even Paul Daniels would have appeared hilarious to us by that time in the evening.
Notable acts during the week included:
Egyptian belly dancers; Now, under normal circumstances, I'd applaud the inclusion of semi-naked women, wobbling their way around the room, but I had more than a vague suspicion that the ones we saw weren't, let's say, exactly female. I later realised that I'd mistaken the Egyptian idea of ideal glamour make-up for foxy girls for that of Steve Coogan's, and that they Were actually girls. I regret having insouciantly rejected the advances of those girls waving their impressive tackle in my face now. They were very good, honestly, if a bit confrontational: they should have left the little lad alone at least - he didn't know where to look. Or rather, he did.
Whirling Dervishes: In case you're unaware, the Sufi sect of Islam includes an act of worship which involves wearing a balloony dress and spinning round for about half an hour until one is in a state of trance. This is now translated into a cabaret act where a dervish whirls round, to the sound of an insanely loud and bizarre-sounding Egyptian band, without falling over once, at the same time eventually giving birth to a baby made out of cloth. Odd, to say the least, but fascinating: you don't get to see that normally down the Working Mens Club on a Saturday night.
Nubian Dancers: The Nubians are those Egyptians who live in the South of Egypt, now made homeless by the building of the Aswan High Dam in the 1960's, which flooded their homelands and they share a more African racial trait than the largely Arab/Mediterranean-looking northern Egyptians. These are BIG tall guys, and do an African-style dance, wearing minimal clothing, ( in the nicest possible African sense) and with audience participation (needless to say, not from the Germans), which involves jumping up and down, gurning, shouting, and waving and pulling at long sticks, and similar such suggestive actions. To the sound of gigantic drums being beaten at super-loud volume by other Nubians. Most Germans shiftily moved to the back of the room, or had left completely by this stage, so the Scots girls were in their element, and audience-participated enthusiastically. HAHA!
Nubian Pantomime horse: A dancing pantomime horse, inhabited by Nubians, presumably, which cantered around the room, interacting with the human occupants largely by dropping its heavy wooden head onto the gentlemens' wedding-tackle area , staring glassily up at them and waggling its wooden mandibles But by midnight, it seemed oddly real. Must have been the heat.
There were other acts, during the week, but those were the highlights. Oh!... on one night you can, if you wish, buy suitable gellabayahs (long Egyptian dresses, teatowel-and-fanbelt headgear, false arab moustaches etc), and dance about wearing this stuff, looking like a total prat. Needless to say, this concept was very popular with the Germans that night, who have a long history of dressing in preposterous costumes and marching about in unfeasible moustaches. Not that I've a problem with Germans, it must be emphasised. I'm a fully integrated European.
Deck 4 was the cabin area, dutifully & discreetly patrolled by cabin stewards, and very quiet and soundproofed. Cabins are very nicely presented, scrupulously clean, compact but more than adequate, with fridge, TV, chairs, desk/makeup area, shower/ensuite and of course, thoughtfully, beds, which the cabin crew carefully convert for you during breakfast into 2 sofas, re-converting them into beds in the evening, and decorating them with crazy towel-sculptures, as mentioned in my previous review. All nicely air-conditioned, too, with a big wide window on the Nile, should you care to glance out on it, with all the indigenous species waving at you as you glide past: goats, camels, herons, water buffalo, Egyptians, and a wide range of other wildlife, including the little boys who wave back at you from their home-made spindly jetties along the banks, then moon at you and give you the V sign before jumping into the river! HAHA! Serves you right for waving at little boys! my wife laconically muttered, as I remember.
On the first night on board, I managed to fall out of bed somehow: I turned over and ran out of Bed. Not due to any motion from the ship, which is, after all, on a river, travelling slowly, so consequently doesn't roll or perceptibly move about. The bed's fault: it was too narrow. That's my excuse, anyway. However, this mishap did leave me with a (to my mind) unbelievably large wound on my spindly shin, as I hit a nearby chair leg on my way down, apparently; which isn't what you want when you want to spend the rest of your holiday in shorts. I wore jeans or long convertible pants for the rest of the trip.
Deck 5 was the sundeck: aptly named. It was VERY sunny. There was a small pool, with more than enough loungers in the sun for those foolhardy enough or those anxious to get immediate skin cancer, to feel a need for lounging in their Speedoes in the sun in Egypt in June, and free unlimited deck towels. Oh, and free unlimited drinks from the small deckbar towards the rear of this deck are available, thoughtfully provided by the ever-vigilant waiters, should you feel thirsty.
Did I mention before that all drinks are included on this trip? Can't remember.
Oh, you can also have mint tea, or regular tea & coffee, soft drinks or chilled bottles of mineral water, if you're that way inclined.
Amidships on this deck is also a variety
Pictures of Nile cruises
Naughty Nubian
of what I've been lead to believe are called 'fitness machines', such as pretend-bicycles, pretend-rowing machines and various other metallic pieces of darkly sado-masochistic kit. I gave these perverse monstrosities a wide berth, on my way to and from the deck bar, in case I barked my shins on them, thus becoming 'unfit', as did all the other people on board, quite sagely. But perhaps there are some people out there who might find such weird appliances alluring. Italians or Londoners, maybe?
Towards the rear of the ship, sorry, astern, is the second bar. This is prefaced by a large covered area with awnings, consisting of lots of comfy wicker and elaborately be-cushioned sofas, tables, chairs, swing-chairs and hammocks (yes… hammocks!), so that one can suffocate in the even more extreme heat which the awnings provided. But you can always have another drink to cool you down, of course. Every afternoon, around 4:pm a cook prepares freshly-made crepes with a variety of fillings, or provides a tempting array of cakes and Middle-Eastern sweetmeats, in case you're still hungry after your lunch, 2 hour earlier. On deck… 50C… below deck a constant 21C, however.
Despite the sedate forward motion of the ship, there was no breeze at all on deck…odd. Apart from the slight breeze caused by the flocks of exotic-looking herons ( Ibises, really) which flew around the ship silently, alighting periodically and imperiously on their little islands of floating papyrus leaves and roots bobbing about down the Nile, where they roosted, waggling their preposterous beaks at you and periodically eating fishes, which they scooped with implausible ease from the river.
The lower deck, below the reception deck astern (Hey!... astern… am I a matelot or what?), housed the sumptuous dining room, whose windows were marginally above water-level, so you could watch the Nile waters rush past your face at breathtaking pace if you had a window-table. Well, actually, about 20 mph, as the ship doesn't move too fast, but entertaining nonetheless. One sitting for all, open for 2 hours per sitting, and every breakfast, evening and lunchtime meal is taken here, seated at your pre-allocated table, with your by now firm table friends. A great atmosphere, not rushed as with mainstream cruises, of which we've had experience.
Meals are buffet style, with an extensive range of familiar Euro-friendly dishes, alongside Egyptian delicacies which tend to be vegetarian in nature, similar to Falafel, beany-herby type dishes, freshly baked fish, including sea-bass,and delicious and exotic freshly-baked breads, such as walnut bread or onion bread, and traditional slices of Middle-Eastern flatbreads. Nothing in the way of hot, chilli-based dishes features in Egyptian cuisine, so chilli-haters have nothing to fear from eating adventurously.
A chef was also there to cook you fresh steaks, lamb dishes, barbecued spicy thingies, fresh fish caught that day by the crew, herb or vegetable omelettes, or little crispy meaty things, which were delicious, with a herby dip, but of which probably you wouldn't really want to know the provenance. Outstanding cuisine, but our table friends were 'cautious eaters', which meant that they tended to be suspicious of the 'exotic' dishes I tended to fill my plate with, like, almost anything I'd never seen before ( that's my way), preferring the more obviously Euro-dishes. Jason, their son, however, was prepared to take my advice & try a little taste of the 'foreign' food, which invariably he pronounced to be delicious and with which he proceeded to stuff his chubby little face. Good lad. There's hope yet.
As always, the waiters were in proliferation, eager to refill one's glass again and again with the excellent Egyptian red wine (the white's not too bad, either), beer, water, pop, or the triple-strength vodka oranges our table-mates preferred with their meals.
As I noted in my earlier review, the MS Suntimes internally is quite splendid, if not sumptuously splendiferous: it is after all, designed for the German market. I imagine the cruisers aimed at the British market are slightly more Spartan, with milk-bottle crates as seating, burgers & chips or sub-KFC-style food available as your buffet, and warm John Smith's & karaoke in the evenings as entertainment.
But perhaps I'm being slightly cynical & uncharitable there. In fact, I know I am. I take it all back, especially if a free cruise on a Britocentric ship can be offered me by an affronted travel company to prove I'm wrong. Ha!
You wouldn't want to go on a Nile Cruise without a certain degree of travel experience, and research into what precisely is on offer on a trip to ancient Egypt, in my view, is vital: easily done with web access, or purchase of a Lonely Planet or Rough Guide style booklet. We had researched our Nile destinations with considerable care, and boned up on the background for some considerable time. Whilst being slightly buffered from actively interacting with 'real' Egyptians in their apparently, to the Western eye, rather dilapidated towns and cities, during the cruise, we nonetheless tried to assimilate as much of the external Egyptian experience as was possible, despite being whisked about briskly from site to site outside the ship, but it's a bit of a struggle, it must be said. You need to think outside the box, as it were, with travel to developing countries, rather than swanning around like a superannuated Richard Branson in a coccoon, and try whenever possible to see their world through their (indigenous) eyes. Tricky, but still possible, with a bit of lateral thinking.
Incidentally, our tour guide often pressed the point that most Egyptian dwellings, apart from public buildings, the villas of the super-rich, mosques and such like, are deliberately left in an 'unfinished' condition, to avoid excessive Council Tax. If you render & paint the outside of your house there you pay more tax.This makes for an impression that they all live in crappy, unfinished shanties. However, if you have a house with no glass in the windows, or a proper roof, nor plastered and painted on the outside, or with steel poles sticking out of the top, suggesting a putative extra storey, you pay 3 times less local tax. As it doesn't rain in Egypt and is relatively warm (!), this would seem eminently sensible to me, and perfectly explains much of the apparent poverty in housing stock there. And without a/c, if you're male, it makes sense to wear a long loose dress and sit about outside with your legs wide apart.
In Burnley, where I was born, this makes slightly less sense, and I'd probably get beaten up within 10 minutes for doing so; not, of course, that I'd even consider it. Well, probably not
However, during the Nile Cruise experience, your interaction with day-to-day Egyptian citizens is severely limited, much as I imagine a luxury Indian Maharaja's train journey through India would be, having read such reviews earlier.
I will revert with maybe a more detailed overview of the sites and sights we experienced on our 2 week trip to Egypt later, if anyone shows interest.
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Oct 28th, 2006
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