Got kids? Still a big kid yourself? You want to go to Florida mate, that's what you want to do. Trouble is, it costs loads doesn't it? Well, not necessarily, some ways are cheaper than others; so here is Jeff's Rough Guide......
First things first, when is best to go? Most of the guide books will advise you to go early (springtime) or late (autumn) when the weather is more conducive to the English temperament. However, this tends to coincide with the times when the Americans themselves visit in large numbers and you can spend a long time queuing for everything.
If you don't mind a bit of heat and high humidity, then I would suggest that you consider visiting end of july/beginning of August. This is precisely the time when the Americans stay away so everything is just a little less crowded. If you really can't stand the heat then try to go in the autumn, since the busiest times are Christmas and Easter.
The cheapest way to visit Florida is to book a fly-drive and rent a biggish house (with pool) for a coupke of weeks. In order to keep costs to a minimum you will probably need to make a few friends. The more of you go (up to about ten) then the cheaper it gets, Most of the four bed houses sleep up to around 10 people. However make sure that the co-vacationers you choose are people who you get on well with. We go every year with my wife's sister and her family and, while I love them all very dearly, by the end of the fortnight I have usually just about had anough of living cheek by jowell with them and I am sure that they feel the same way about me.
You can find houses for rent all over the Disney area (Kissimmee). Most of the UK National daily newspapers carry loads of adds or you can go onto the Internet or simply ask people you know who have been. You will be surprised at how many folk own property out there who are only too willing to rent it out. Expect to pay anything up to 600 Sterling per week for a four bed house with a pool and all mod-cons within easy driving distance of the theme parks. However, if there are ten of you then this is remarkably cheap at sixty quid per head per week. We have just returned home after staying at a beautiful house which a friend of a friend rented to us for 450 pounds a week. Among the seven of us who went this worked out at around £65 per head per week.
The houses are all very similar in aspect. Usually large bungalows (but sometimes two level), they have a large lounge cum kitchen area (and I mean LARGE, by British standards), a separate laundry room and a large integral double garage. Sleeping accomodation usually consists of a master bedroom complete with full en suite facilties, a second large double bedroom, a twin-bed room and a smaller double room together with a sleeper-settee in the lounge, thus accomodating 10 in all. At the back of the house is the screened pool. Because there are so many bugs in Florida, the pool area is covered with a high porch-like screen of fine mesh hung over an aluminium frame. This means that you can bathe without being bothered by the local fauna.
Next you are going to need a cheap fly/drive. For years we have used a company called Travel City Direct (www.travelcity.co.uk). They started as a little outfit based in Blackpool however, over the years they have grown to the point where they now run (or, more correctly, charter) a couple of Jumbo's of their own. Every year we attempt to find a cheaper deal elsewhere and every year we end up traveling with them again. Give them a look.
This year, the flights (with car rental) cost us just over four hundred dabs a piece. So the two-week holiday, for transport, accomodation and rental car cost just under 500 quid per head. I've paid more than that for room-only in Tenerife!
Not bad huh?
The rental car which came with the deal was a Chrysler Voyager and it was more than big enough to cart us all around in grand old style. One word of warning, sort out your car insurance before you go if you can. Fly/Drive holidays are usually quoted net of any insurance charges and these can be quite expensive in the U.S.A. In fact, if you take all of the insurances from the car rental company it will probably cost as much as the car rental itself. Shop around in the UK first. I get my insurance from American Express but there are all sorts of offers around so have a look at what's best for you.
The other thing that will happen when you go to pick up your vehicle is that the agent (who is on commission) will attempt to sell you an upgrade to a bigger or flashier model. Now, this is absolutely fine if that's what you want, however, you can't compare prices at the counter and, again, if you want a bigger motor than the one included in the package then why not upgrade it here in the UK before you go? Twenty dollars a day, a typical upgrade-at-the-counter price, doesn't sound like a lot of money but it is getting on for two hundred quid over the two week holiday. Be careful what you ask for - in America you will usually get it!
Buy most of your food and booze from the supermarket. It's cheap and of extremely high quality. One word of warning; American Supermarkets are full to the brim with masses and masses of cheap, unhealthy, sweet and fatty foods. If you don't believe me then just take a look at the Americans themselves. The number of overweight Americans is truly remarkable and you will often see clinical obesity, something which is relatively rare here in the UK. It seems that blue-collar America is on a mission to eat itself into oblivion and Publix (a big supermarket chain) is hell-bent on helping it to.
Paradoxically, eating healthily in the US can be quite expensive so it tends to be only the middle classes who do it...
Whether their cars are a reflection of their girth or not is a moot point however, you will see very few small cars in the US. The SUV (Sport Utility Vehicle - 4X4 to you and me) is king, the bigger the better. Some of the big Dodge RAMs and FORD FF's are truly awesome, belching out an earth trembling roar from their massive V8 petrol motors. Petrol, by the way is a buck-twenty a gallon, Even allowing for the fact that their gallon is smaller than ours it is still around one third the price that we pay. To fill the Voyager from empty cost nineteen dollars, or about thirteen quid (makes you wanna cry doesn't it?).
Eating out is, contrary to popular opinion, NOT particularly cheap, unless you are prepared to shop-around and look for offers. All over Florida you can pick up free coupon books which are chock-full of offers and incentives to eat at various places, visit various stores and so on. It is the American way, - they just love a deal. By using the enclosed coupons you can usually save yourself a fair bit of wonga, provided you don't mind too much where you eat (most places in Kissimee are pretty good).
Another alternative is to visit an 'all-you-can-eat' place where, for a fixed fee, you can go bananas and pig yourself into oblivion. In particular, the 'Ponderosa' chain of restaurants do an all-you-can-eat breakfast for $3.99 and an all-you-can-eat dinner for around twelve bucks, depending upon what maincourse you choose. It is high quality and very good value for money.
The 'Orlando' area, where the theme parks are is not actually in Orlando at all but some fifteen miles south around an area called Kissimmee. The 'action' centres on five main places which you will get to know well during your stay. They are DisneyWorld itself, Universal Studios, SeaWorld, International Drive and Highway 192. The first three cost money to visit so I will deal with them in a minute. International Drive and Highway 192 are 'touristy' type areas, you can think of them as being a bit like the sea-front at Blackpool but without the sea, if you see what I mean... They are just chock full of eating places, bars, amusement areas of one kind or another and loads of Florida's famous low-cost 'designer' outlets.
The whole area is absolutely full to the brim with these outlets. They sell famous label clothes at a fraction of the price you would pay anywhere else. So what's the catch? Well, actually there isn't one.
What they are selling, in the main, are the remnants of last year's fashions and the 'odd sizes' which they have overmanufactured and can't sell at normal prices through the main stores, together with all sorts of 'slight seconds' which may or may not have obvious faults in them. However you look at it, it is a bargain hunter's paradise. The biggest of these discount Malls is called Belz Factory Outlet and it is situated at the northern end of International Drive. There are over 100 stores there all acting as outlets for famous name brands. Nike, Reebok, Tommy Hilfiger, Liz Claibourne, Gant, Burberry, Cristian Dior and Levi, to name but a few, all have stores that you can browse around looking for that bargain. It helps if you are an odd size, for example, 30 inch waist and 36 inch inside leg, but there are bargains for everyone and the prices are often incredibly low. Last time out, I bought a pair of Levi 501's for nineteen dollars (yep - about thirteen quid mate). You just can't go wrong. It is very tempting to take a couple of empty suitcases and fill 'em up. Do bear in mind that customs will 'av yer for takin' the piss, if you bring back more than two hundred dabs worth....
The only amusements I will mention are Wet 'n Wild on International Drive , WaterMania on the 192 and 'Old Town', also on the 192. The first two are big water parks with loads of massive slides and so on. They seem to be very popular but our family was not impressed with either of them. Disney have three water parks of their own (Typhoon Lagoon, River Country and Blizzard Beach) which, to my mind, are far better executed.
Old Town is a smashing little development off the 192. It is a collection of old curiosity stores and odd little eating houses culminating in a small fairground. You can visit anytime, but in the summer, each Saturday evening they have a classic American car parade. On a fine night there will be anything up to a couple of hundred cars there, most of them big stormers from the 'muscle car' era and it is fantastic to watch these old monsters cruise slowly by, their big V8 motors rumbling and spitting their displeasure as they burble past. You can't miss Old Town because it has two of the biggest landmark attractions in the area - a massive (200 feet high) swing and a backwards 'bungey' jump type thingy which is also a couple of hundred feet high. By 'backwards' what I mean is that instead of you jumping from a great height like a normal bungey, this one works the other way, they tension the bungey rope downwards and when they let it go it shoots the unfortunate passenger into the night sky at a tremendous rate of knots. It's eery to watch because ir all happens in complete silence, apart from the death screams coming from the riders of course....
I'm not gonna go heavily into Disney, Universal or SeaWorld because you can get loads of books on the subject. However, here is a straw pole of favourite rides from our family together with a few tips that we have picked up over the years that work for us;
1.DisneyWorld - Epcot
EPCOT used to be our favourite but the only really good ride in there at the moment is the GM Test Track. Don't miss it.
EPCOT's fireworks at the close of the day are by far the best in any Park (although, not as good as they used to be it must be said - sigh, nostalgia ain't what it was...).
Pirates of the Caribbean - an old original boat ride in the dark - not at all white knuckle but incredibly charming you must not miss it. Yo ho! Yo ho! A pirate's life for me! (he he).
The Haunted Mansion - Incredibly clever visuals even though they are actually quite low tech and dated now. See if you can work out how they do the "Haunted Dining Room". Fantastic fun.
Thunder Mountain Railroad - Smashing little rollercoaster which even quite small children will enjoy.
Splash Mountain - Superbly executed water log ride with a BIG flume at the end. Weeeee - splosh!
Space Mountain - Indoor roller coaster ride in the dark. Scary at first, because of the dark, but you soon realise that it is actually quite a tame ride.
Rockin Roller Coaster - This has to be one of the best rollercoaster rides in the World at the moment - just shaded by The Incredible Hulk at Universal but still superb. Like Hulk, it is not a traditional 'gravity' ride. Instead, you are accelerated from rest by a linear motor which rockets your sled from 0 to 60 in about three seconds - and then straight into a loop - WOT A BUZZ!!!!
Tower of Terror - a fantastically original ride which puts you in an elevator and drops you thirteen floors. Absolutely mindblowing the first time you do it. Sheer fun thereafter. You will want to go on again and again.
When Universal built the Islands of Adventure park it had one goal and one goal only, to blow the doors off anything that Disney had. While they have probably achieved it you may conclude that it has been done at the expense of some of the charm of Disney - I will leave it to you to decide. Here are our favourites;
The Incredible Hulk - best rollercoaster that we've ever been on. Shoots you up almost vertically from rest, using a linear motor. Unbeliveable.
Bilge Rat Barge - Family water flume based around Popeye and characters - you get absolutely soaked so take a spare T-shirt - fantastic fun. Don't put the spare t-shirt on just yet though ......
RipSaw Falls - Big violent log flume based on the rocky and bullwinkle cartoons. Basically a more scary version of Disney's Splash Mountain. You will get wet.
Jurassic Park - Very large log flume, the raft holds about twenty people. My family love it but I got hurt on it last year. The cusioning on the restraint bars can roll-around the bar so that there is no cusion between you and the metal. I had to go for x-ray after the bar slammed into my chest at the bottom of the flume (but apart from that Mrs Lincoln, how did you enjoy the show?).
Dueling Dragons - fantastic twin rollercoaster where you hang under the track. The kids love it but I must admit that it is just a bit too violent for me...
5.Tips and Tricks
Plan to arrive at the Park for the 'drop'. every morning when they open the parks they do a little warm-up act with the waiting guests and then physically drop a rope to let you in at opening time. Since 9/11 they now have security guards checking baggage on the way in to the Parks. To most Europeans, familiar with real anti-terrorist levels of security it is a joke and a waste of time. All they do is look in any bags that you may be carrying, there are no metal detectors and no body searches. Makes you feel really safe huh?
Proceed around the park in an anti-clockwise direction going on the big 'must not miss' rides first. Most people go around clockwise so you should get on all of the big rides without having to queue for too long. Do the big rides and plan to finish by about eleven or eleven thirty A.M. - this is when the parks start to get really busy. Go home and have a swim in your pool and a relaxing lunch. Head back to the park for about 4:00 - 5:00 PM. You can now do all of the more leisurely rides and attractions up until firework time at close of play. Oh, the one exception is animal kingdom where they close the park at around 6:00 each day.
When visiting EPCOT for the fireworks, park up at the Disney 'Boardwalk" carpark and take the waterbus from the Boardwalk one stop to EPCOT. EPCOT has a back door here that most people don't know about. It leads into the World Showcase between France and England. You can then proceed to have a quiet beer in the English Pub or a glass of wine in the French restaurant while waiting for the fireworks to begin right in front of you on the lake. Afterwards it is a short trip back to your car and you don't have to fight with the main crowd making its way out to the EPCOT parking lot!
Leaving the Magic Kingdom at closing time is an absolute pain. You have to queue for either the monorail or the riverboat to take you to the Transportation centre and then you have to queue again for a roadtrain to take you out to the parking lot. Here is trick which we came across quite by accident which will save you all of that waiting....
The monorails run on circular tracks. This is to save on shunting, which they are particularly bad at, since a point change involves moving a 30 tonne concrete slab - take a look - you'll see what I mean. But, I digress. There are two monorail tracks running between the Transportation Centre and The Magic Kingdom. They run in a circle around the Disney Seven Seas Lagoon. Now, one of the tracks (The outer - anticlockwise one) is the express track from the Centre to the Kingdom. The other track, the inner, which runs in the opposite direction serves the Disney ResortHotels which border the lagoon. There are three, the Polynesian, the Grande Floridian and the Contemporary. The inner track is their exclusive transport monorail to the Magic Kingdom and the Transportation Centre (and thence on to EPCOT and MGM).
At the end of the evening when you leave the park, ignore the football crowds (for that is what they are like) queuing for the express monorail and the river boat and take the (usually empty) walkway up to the other track which says 'Resort Hotels'. Get on the first monorail - it will be almost empty, and proceed the OTHER way around the lake, stopping at the Contemporary hotel before dropping you off at the Transportation Centre well ahead of the main crowd which in turn means that you will have an easier time getting a road-train out to the car-park! Don't tell anyone we told you.
Er, that's all we know - but give it a go - it's great fun!!
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Very nice review - brought back memories of stuff I didn't know I'd forgotten - when I was there they only had the swingy thingy at Old Town and one classic car - but it was on a Wednesday
vanitaasvin 23.09.2005 14:04
EXCELLENT
ajfoster 24.01.2004 19:58
Great review! It touched on several different aspects of Orlando and I found it very informative. I wish more reviews were as thorough as this one. I particularly enjoyed your observations of American life, such as how we're always looking for a deal and how much obesity we have this country. (You missed passing the buck, but that can wait for another essay.) I'd like to defend my fellow countrymen, but it's hard to fight the truth. I really appreciated that you didn't go into much depth on the amusement parks, since they have their own product pages where that is more appropriate. But tell me, you said, "Every year we attempt to find a cheaper deal elsewhere and every year we end up traveling with them again." Don't you have any interest in seeing other parts of this wonderful country? --AJF
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