February 2009. Playa Caleta is rated a 4 star. Sunwing Travel advertises it as a Sunwing Club Exclusive...whatever that means? We would call it the ?Club Torture?
The hotel has a spacious, open-concept lobby on two levels. The lobby and the rest of the hotel are filled with cigarette smoke. When we asked the front desk staff if there was any non-smoking public areas, they answered with giggles as they held their lit cigarettes below the counter. This is supposed to be a family hotel; if you or your children can survive the second-hand smoke that saturates everything, you will still have a family.
Buses idled right in front of the open hotel entrance, filling the lobby with carbon monoxide. As we discovered, vehicles in Cuba have no exhaust standards. From scooters to buses, they all spew black or blue smoke.
ROOM: There are NO non-smoking rooms. After getting a headache from the stench of
stale cigarette smoke, we had to remove the stinky bedcovers and air out the room. No hot water to wash for almost 2 days. On booking we requested a room on the quiet side. We got the opposite: on the 7th floor in direct line of the loud nightly stage show by the pool. Even with the patio door closed, we could not hear our TV. Nothing changed after we complained. A couple we met warned us about not leaning on the balcony rail. Apparently their rail was held on by a rusty bolt. It was very cold during our stay (down to 6 C. one night. No heat in the rooms. We asked for extra blankets, we got one, to share between 2 twin beds (?)
BUFFET RESTAURANT: Open until 10 p.m. nightly. We arrived shortly after 9 p.m. and the buffet tables were empty except for some scraps. The advertised Fruit Plate Upon Arrival did not exist. The food was poor and basically always the same thing. Chopped or shredded meats in sauces looked exactly like the left-over meat from previous days. Except for occasional baguettes, bread was tasteless refined white sponge. One good food, a type of Stilton cheese and occasionally some pieces of chicken. Fish was all farmed (antibiotics and hormones) or frozen from China. Ironic, I guess there?s no fresh fish in Cuba. Desserts were rock-hard cookies and dry cake squares topped with the same jam day after day. Once in a while some squares of sponge cake dipped in sugary syrup.
RESTAURANT CASABLANCA: Much fuss about this a la carte restaurant being booked most of the time. In reality the place was always half empty, just a ploy? We were restricted to only one visit to this restaurant... a blessing in retrospect. The decor was lovely but the food substandard. The lamb looked and tasted like dry old mutton. The wines are the same Spanish jug wines served in the buffet restaurant. The desserts were truly sad: the cheesecake with strawberry sauce was a synthetic horrid concoction from a package. The chocolate cake was a piece of dry rock with chocolate-colour decoration.
24 HOUR SNACK/PIZZA BAR: The posted time of closure (17:00 to 17:30 hours) was simply that, a poster. You had to be a mind reader to figure out when this place was open for service. Most of the time we were told it was closed and to either come back later or go elsewhere. The pizza was so atrocious, you would eat it only after starving for days. So we had some.
BAR: on the second level lobby. If you are a non-smoker, STAY AWAY. This is a magnate for smokers who monopolize it constantly. At night there was live Cuban music next to the bar but the thick smoke made this venue deadly to our health.
ELEVATORS: There are three elevators. It?s a crapshoot figuring out which one is going to break down. There are no inside stairwells as a means of avoiding the elevators. The fire escape stairs are outside at either end of the hotel. Both were in bad need of repair due to rusting metal debris on the steps. The last two days of our stay, a team of workers was repairing the north stairs.
STAFF: Generally speaking, the main objective of all staff was to get tips from hotel guests. From our maid?s outpouring of warm greetings and hugs, you?d think we were long-lost pals. On the last day, came the unwanted hugs to my wife, a preamble to the coy request for her watch. Not a direct request, but well understood that she wanted it as a gift. Although we were generous with all the staff, in the end we regretted shelling out gifts; these people were leaches. The direct or implied requests for tips and gifts was just too much in your face, constant, annoying and tiresome.
POOL: Weather was cold and windy. Instead of the beach, guests tried to get warmth and comfort by the protected pool. The area was clean, surrounded with wonderful gardens of palm trees, flowering shrubs and lawns. Pretty to look at but not a place to lounge, catch some sunshine, get some zzzs, sip a drink, read a book or chat. The huge loudspeakers were constantly blasting music and continued every day even after we complained. On our last day, the pool area was used for the lunch buffet al fresco. We got sick on the food.
INTERNET ACCESS: There were two filthy computer stations in a dedicated room. One computer was broken down. The keyboard looked like standard North American but the symbols did not match the keys. Access was painfully slow, most of your time online was spent watching the screen load up. A terrible waste of money. Like everything else, the Internet access ran on Cuban time!
HOTEL BUS SHUTTLE: Left the hotel on time for downtown Varadero but the real return time remained a well kept secret. A second secret was that the shuttle does not run on Sundays. The driver always bathed in aftershave. Above him was a big sign requesting tips (with four exclamation marks!!!!). So rude!!!!
MONEY: The phoney convertible Cuban peso is a rip-off (1.38 Canadian). It has zero value outside Cuba. To buy back Canadian dollars with left over pesos, the exchange was $1.25. Do not exchange your money at the hotel. When your arrive, find Canadians who are leaving and they need to exchange the peso back into Canadian (which can only be done at the airport or designated bank). Do the same when it is your time to leave. Agree on a mutually beneficial exchange rate. This is the best deal for both parties.
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