Have you ever awoken from a particularly bad nightmare and felt a wash of relief when you are able to tell yourself 'It was only a dream?' Now answer me this- have you ever awoken from a particularly bad nightmare and realized that could stil well be in one? Welcome to Pontins!

Since William Butlin opened the first Butlins resort (which I must add still stands today as one of the three remaining camps in Ingoldmells, Lincolnshire) interest within the British holiday industry has soared. Instead of shelling out thousands to jet off to unaffordable destinations abroad, Joe Public in Old Blighty could now himself have a good knees up in one of Butlins fabulously camp but admittedly impressive holiday resorts without having to worry too much about the grumble of sky-high prices and jetlag. For many years people flocked to these camps to have some typical British holiday fun with the family, and thus it was really only a matter of time before the industry expanded and new operations cashed in on the hype. The very fact that Butlins took off on a near vertical tangent meant that other UK companies began to jump on the British holiday bandwagon. One such company is Pontins. Now, it must be said- the success of Pontins is one which cannot be denied. In almost every well-known coastal location across the UK there is a Pontins resort not too far away.
The park also took over Haven's idea of installing its parks in countryside laden areas, expanding to an even greater extent and appealing to older more mature holidaymakers. Later on the company would begin to cater for groups outside of the 'family' band it is famous for, including themed weekends for the golden oldies and of course stag and hen weekends for those fun loving friends. The parks even host all gay/lsbian parties, somehing which is more than can be said for Butlins. And not to mention that Pontins has a huge number of parks considering it is a privatley funded copmpany. But the fact of the matter is, no matter how many resorts the company can now boast about, Pontins is exceedingly popular amongst British holidaymakers and families as a whole. Unfortunately this means the majority of mainstream families taken in by the fancy advertising are in for a rude awakening once they have handed their hard earned cash over and checked in.

By now you will probably be in a completely down trodden mood. But if you think shoddy check in services were the lowlight of your holiday then prepare for the shock of your life when you come to actually viewing your apartment. Pontins have saved the stinking rotten finale of your holiday for when you arrive at the 'apartment.' It doesn't matter if you have gone for standard or club, they are simply- and I use this expression with great anger- disgusting. The smell of the apartments is something not even I myself (a human being) can find words to describe. It is so hard hitting you will probably hover by the door for a while wondering if- glory be to God you actually want to venture in further. If you do hold your breath and are brave enough to step inside, then you should be awarded an honoury Pontins medal. In some cases (this was our case) your apartment wont have even been cleaned and will be standing as it did before the last bunch of people checked out! The walls were dirty, the crockery and cutlery was unwashed, the bathrooms were filthy and ant-infested (as was the kitchen and the fridge) the bed linen smelt of urine and sweat and the carpets were dusty and had not been vacuumed. The windows were grimy the curtains smelt of dirt and don't get me started in the state of the sink. The beds were uncomfortable, the sofa bed was ridiculously small and broken (?! ) and the walls were paper thin as to the point where you can make out the exact conversation of your neighbors. Oh and not forgetting the mould growing everywhere. Now, of course we wern't going to stand for this and after picking our chins up off the floor we got out map and trekked back to check in to demand to be moved. After recieving some blank 'we re used to this sort of complaint' stares from the staff we were moved into a 'clean' apartment. Well when I say 'clean' I mean it was bearable. The linen was cleaner (the windows were still horrible however and the walls were still paper thin.) The beds were also very uncomfortable and the views out of the apartment were equally hideous (imagine a 1950's prison camp.)

And we did.