Prague, where mullets have never gone out of fashion, where every thing ends in a 'y', where even the dogs and cats smoke, and where, if you play your cards right, you can carve out a rather inexpensive and most rewarding holiday.

The capital of the Czech Republic, Prague is served by Ruzyne Airport into which fly all the usual assortment of bargain basement airlines and the more recognised carriers too. Despite arriving very early and very bleary eyed, the airport was very easy to navigate, and was compact, concise and really rather clean. So, the chances of you getting lost are nil...until you venture outside of the airport.

All the above suggestions should be approached with equal caution. Always purchase your tickets BEFORE getting onto public transport, or else you'll be frogmarched to the nearest grey police station and subjected to ice water torture...maybe. Remember that if you are taking your luggage too, that may need a ticket as well depending on your form of public transport. Taxi drivers have a bad reputation in Prague, and luckily the airport only allows approved firms to sit outside of the arrivals exit. Still be on your toes though, because with a bit of shopping around you can easily halve the price of your journey.

Smichov could not be called central Prague. The city is split into two by the Vlatva, a river that demands a bridge to cross it every 50 yards. On the west of the Vlatva sits the new town, while on the east is the old centre of Prague. At the very north is the Castle, sat in the Hradcany district. Smichov? Well, that is sat in a southwesterly direction of the city, and appears to have been forgotten about by civilization.

I visited in mid-March and was presented with 4 days of impeccable weather, but imagining quite what the pollution would have been like in deep winter or high summer gave me the heebie-jeebies. Apparently smog warnings are frequent during cold or hot snaps. I don't doubt the tour guide for a second.

The undoubted highlight of Prague is located north east of the city in the Hradcany district, and Prague Castle will devour your time. Devote a whole day to touring around this spellbinding wonder. Sat atop a rather steep hill, no matter which of the entrances you use, it affords magnificent views of the city. You can reach from any direction, although the narrow streets from the Mala Strana side are most scenic.

The Presidential Palace is most impressive and if the crowds allow, you can watch the changing of the guard every hour. Nestled behind the Palace is the real gem of the castle and indeed Prague. St Vitus Cathedral is a baroque masterpiece. Massive in scale and ambition, you can easily lose a couple of hours strolling around, and then inside, this leviathan. Inside are located the Royal Crypt and the...ahem..Crown Jewels though you will need a ticket to see them. The majority of the Cathedral is open to the public though, and it's a most impressive sight.

Tumble exhausted from the castle back down into the Mala Strana and choose one of the many cafe/bar/restaurants to eat in. Head to the river for the quiet, relaxed atmosphere of Kampa Island, and if you save some currency and make room on your belt notch, DO visit Kampa Park Restaurant. The food is to die for, as are the views (it is currently being renovated, so the river level terrace only lets you see the top half of Prague). Expensive in only in relation to the rest of Prague, book in advance for a definate table and spend an evening in food-type heaven.

Back into the old town on the eastern bank of the Vlatva, and there are plenty of opportunites for a sit down and a rest before delving into the sights-packed Stare Mestro. Take in the splendour of the buildings that line this section of the river, amongst them the Museum of Decorative Arts. Head into the centre and keep your eyes peeled at all times. Everything is impressive here. Upon reaching the Old Town Square breath deeply and grab hold of your belongings. It's busy here, and someone WILL try and relieve you of your possesions.

Rotate on your heels and snap away at the Statue of Jan Hus, the House of the Stone Bell, Storch House and the Kinsky Palace. If all the sights are a bit too much for you, sit at one of the many cafes and have a bite to eat. Despite all warnings they are not ridiculously expensive, and even if they ARE, keep the exchange rate in mind at all times and remember you're still getting a meal for the price of a tube of toothpaste.

If you're desperate for more slight disappointment head immediately for Wenceslav Square. A rectangle of McDonalds, C&A and other awe-uninspiring shops and sights, it's only real purpose seems to be to get as crowded as possible for no real reason. Climb the gradual hill and try not be tempted by all the cheap gold jewellry, remember how bad BA Baracas looked, and at the top stands the National Musuem. A grand building housing an unlimited supply of trilobites. Oh, and stuffed animals. It starts promisingly enough, and the interior is simply superb, though you will need a camera permit to take photos. To be honest the decoration of the museum far outstrips it's contents. Room after room of fossilised leaves will take their toll, and despite good intentions leaving the museum felt good. Do not make it a priority, I suggest you leave it until the last day and visit in preference to packing your cases early.

Head back towards the river and into Nove Mesto, and behold the joy that is the Prague branch of Tesco. I wouldn't normally advocate this kind of behaviour, but go and have a giggle at the place. So much with such silly sounding names crammed into such little floor space. Squeeze between crumpled old ladies in communist issue blue macintoshes and explore to your hearts content. Good fun. Don't try and buy anything though, unless your Czech is really up to speed. They rattle off the language like bullets from a gun, and take no prisoners as you stare awkwardly back.