Snobs Club

...than soap anyway!) I discovered Snobs nightclub.

As soon as I saw this category on offer, I knew that I'd just have to write an op about it. Ahhh yes the memories are beginning to flood back already. I'm referring in particular to my first year at university … now any mothers who have children at uni reading this should probably not read on, as it might disclose what we students Really get up to instead of studying, but if you are ...
...dance/trance student night on Tuesday, Snobs on Wednesday and then a full-on amusing pissup involving 70's clothes and music at Pulse (which has now shut down due to drug trouble) on Thursday. There was the alternative music lover's dream of Ramshackle at The Sanctuary on Saturday nights … Basically you could fully take care of each week with a collection of financially viable nights on the lash. But let's focus on Snobs…

I first heard ... more

A typical Monday morning. Got up late, felt very tired, having no idea why, although it might have had something to do with the late nights of the previous weekend. A bit fed up. A general feeling of apathy. You know how it is, so what better thing to do than write an opinion? Scraping the barrel I know, maybe you lot all lead more interesting lives than me hehe but as I was looking round Ciao to find something inspirational to write about (well more so than soap anyway!) I discovered Snobs nightclub.

As soon as I saw this category on offer, I knew that I'd just have to write an op about it. Ahhh yes the memories are beginning to flood back already. I'm referring in particular to my first year at university … now any mothers who have children at uni reading this should probably not read on, as it might disclose what we students Really get up to instead of studying, but if you are of a sterner disposition and are prepared to admit that students spend most of their time, not studying but drinking, then read on by all means.

In the first year, everything were reet good. All you had to worry about was getting to know people and having a good time. The workload wasn't all too demanding and in the way of coursework and marks that counted towards your final grade there was almost nothing to worry about. Brilliant you all think! Indeed, for me, it'd be a sesh in the hall bar on Monday, off to DNA for a dance/trance student night on Tuesday, Snobs on Wednesday and then a full-on amusing pissup involving 70's clothes and music at Pulse (which has now shut down due to drug trouble) on Thursday. There was the alternative music lover's dream of Ramshackle at The Sanctuary on Saturday nights … Basically you could fully take care of each week with a collection of financially viable nights on the lash. But let's focus on Snobs…

I first heard of Snobs through a friend at university. Now the name alone at first left me wondering what I was going to be greeted with. My friend and I shared very similar musical tastes and often swapped CDs and so I thought well if she likes it then there is a good chance that I will too. There were about 4 of us who went in the end and after a few beers in The Ministry Bar, we headed off down the road to Snobs.

-- First impressions

I discovered that Snobs was a reasonably small night club, which was a little bit out of the way, situated next door to a Greek restaurant called Athens. Upon entering the small foyer, you're searched by the usual stony faced men of few words bouncers. I remember walking in the once and the bouncer in question not realising I had a sight problem … he went on to assume that I was stoned. I pointed out that I was partially sighted and had to insist that this was the case for a while before he believed me and let me in - he then proceeded to give my friend of over 8 years a lecture on looking after me and how to do it lol; those were the days. Anyway once you've paid the irritable woman in her booth you head off down a narrow set of stairs until you're brought out in Snobs, right below the city!

-- What's the place like?

The first thing I'll say is that you shouldn't be fooled by the club's name - there is absolutely nothing snobby about Snobs whatsoever. In fact, it's probably one of the most basic places I've been in as far as layout and décor are concerned. Snob's consists of two main rooms, one being slightly larger than the other, and it is these two rooms that the punters are entertained in from Wednesdays to Saturdays. A passage way containing the toilets and possibly a few random gamblers links the two rooms although there is another way to get between the two if this gets too packed.

Snobs definitely isn't disabled friendly, as it basically has stairs, narrow walkways and random bits of furniture everywhere so I had to make sure that I was with an established guide so as not to leave with sore kneecaps and a few broken limbs.

-- The music

Wednesday night was (not sure if it still is) student night at Snobs and the feeling was well, ultimately studenty. The large room generally played host to indie and alternative music, so you would be treated to anything from Blur and Radiohead to Moby and The Chemical Brothers. A good mix of tunes that gradually turned into hard rock and then cheesy anthems as the evening goes on. In the other, slightly smaller room, there is a more relaxed atmosphere and this is where I tend to go more regularly. It's the 60's and funk room … All sorts of classic tunes being belted out here from The Rolling Stones and The Who to James Brown and occasionally modern funk classics like Jamiroquai. The DJs are eager to play requests in both rooms and you always tend to hear your song before the night is out, so if you were fed up of hearing Sympathy For The Devil then you can blame me! :)

Crowd pleasers and firm Snobs favourites included:
Beatles - day tripper
Who - My generation
Sam & Dave - Soul man
Blur - Song 2
Happy Mondays - Kinky afro
Red Hot Chili Peppers - Give it away

-- The bar

Well in fact the bars, as there is one in each room. The actual design of the bar I found to be quite innovative - you had your usual bog standard bar but at Snobs there is a large padded rest positioned right in front of and running all the way along the length of the bar. This can serve many purposes, perhaps to lean on with your back to the bar as you down a shot or more likely, to collapse on when you're half shedded and can't really stand up properly to order your next drink - it was a nice touch I found anyway. On student nights, the drink was pretty reasonably priced - doubles of vodka or whiskey could be had for 50p and a pint of weak beer for around £1. The prices on standard non-student nights were quite a bit more expensive at around £2.20 for a can of Red Stripe (what I used to drink) but this was still cheaper than a lot of places on Broad Street (the hub of Birmingham's entertainment quarter).

-- The toilets

Dear dear me, the toilets are a big downfall at Snobs. I can't comment on the lady's loos but if the men's are anything to go by, you should perhaps attempt to hold your excrement for as long as is possible and go when you get home - only go to the toilet at Snobs if you Really need to. The floor is swimming in urine, they stink and there is rarely any bog roll if you need it - I've seen urinals ripped off the wall on one occasion and made sure that I didn't hang around too long. Oh and you're lucky if you can wash your hands too as the basins are often clogged up with people's sick.
I remember an occasion when I was on anti-biotics and hence drank Red Bull all night instead of beer. I recall standing in one of the rank cubicles, shaking uncontrollably like a leaf but not wanting to be sick into the toilet in case I caught something!
You've been warned hehe.

-- The atmosphere

Despite the fact that Snobs is, well putting it bluntly, a bit of a dive, you always have a great night out there. The atmosphere can get quite rowdy and the place quite quickly gets hot and crowded but everyone is basically out to have a good time and enjoy themselves with large quantities of cheap booze. There isn't a huge number of seats to be found so people either tend to dance all night or loiter around the place spilling beer everywhere. I spose it is quite a flirtatious club but it's all in the best possible humour and genuine … none of the pretentiousness of some of the larger clubs in the city.

The type of person that turns up at Snobs can vary greatly. I tend to be the shirt and trousers type of guy when I go out and whilst a lot dress like this it's also not uncommon to see people walking round with Nirvana t-shirts, jeans and trainers - it seems that you can wear what you want, and perhaps judging by some of the old guys in flairs and wigs - the more outrageous the better!

-- General info

From what I can remember, Snobs is open until 2AM (3AM on a Friday and Saturday) and the prices on the door vary according to what day and time you go in. NUS discounts can be had and I tended to pay around £2.50 on a Wednesday night and around £4 on a Friday (non-student) night. You should probably aim to get there no earlier than 10 or the place will be deserted - on account of most people getting half tanked up in a pub first: I can recommend The Square Peg as a starter because of its cheap scran and reasonably priced lager.

-- My verdict?

If you're after a classy and sophisticated evening out with say a partner, then Snobs definitely isn't the place to go! On the other hand, if you fancy going out on a good, cheap booze up with some great music and fun to be had with a group of friends, then Snobs is somewhere you should consider going - for even though the newly opened Academy has taken a lot of the trade away from the club, it still has a unique atmosphere and feel that has to be experienced.

I recommend this place highly, probably because it holds so many fond memories for me hehe.

Ta very much for the read!

Craig - February 2002

 

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