Tank Museum (Musée des Blindés) Saumur

..."Let's go to the Tank Museum," said my other half.

Tank Museum? Now despite being a female wishy-washy liberal I'm quite happy to pore over things warlike, yomp over battlefields ancient and modern, and love places like the Imperial War Museum and Duxford. But tanks? I know nothing about engines - I have trouble locating the bonnet release catch on my car - and have little interest in heavy metal in any form.

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...now it is essentially a tank school. After world war 2 the hulks left on the battlefields of Europe were gathered together for investigation and Col Aubry, the Commandant of the School, acquired many for the instruction of his cadets. The Armoured Vehicles Documentation Centre was formed in 1965 and the project grew from there. Housed in enormous airplane-sized hangars, it is the largest tank museum in the world. There are 850 tanks, of which 200 ... more

So there we were in Saumur. We'd visited the castle and picnicked in the park by the castle, looking over the town, the Loire and the countryside beyond. "What shall we do now," I asked. "Let's go to the Tank Museum," said my other half.

Tank Museum? Now despite being a female wishy-washy liberal I'm quite happy to pore over things warlike, yomp over battlefields ancient and modern, and love places like the Imperial War Museum and Duxford. But tanks? I know nothing about engines - I have trouble locating the bonnet release catch on my car - and have little interest in heavy metal in any form.

I was still iffing and butting as we pulled up outside and went in, as I always knew we would. We emerged about 2½ hours later having had a thoroughly enjoyable afternoon. If armoured warfare is your thing, stop what you are doing and go at once. You'll feel like you've died and gone to heaven. If tanks and such are most definitely NOT your thing, however, this museum won't convert you.

Why is it here? The French cavalry school has been in Saumur since 1768 and of course cavalry regiments have long since abandoned the horse in favour of horse power, so now it is essentially a tank school. After world war 2 the hulks left on the battlefields of Europe were gathered together for investigation and Col Aubry, the Commandant of the School, acquired many for the instruction of his cadets. The Armoured Vehicles Documentation Centre was formed in 1965 and the project grew from there. Housed in enormous airplane-sized hangars, it is the largest tank museum in the world. There are 850 tanks, of which 200 are on display. It is an agglomeration, a congregation, an encrustation of tanks, a veritable tank-o-thon. Just about every known tank is here and most of them work, indeed many are paraded on military occasions or used in filming. They are arrayed in endless serried rows, drawn up in parade-ground chevron (if not battlefield) formation. And there lies one of the problems, but we'll come to that shortly.

The lay-out is historical. We start pre- and during first world war, when the possibilities of tanks were being explored for the first time. The first "tank" battle was at Cambrai in 1916. The display moves on to world war 2, a room for the Germans and a room for the Allies. Then the Cold War, then up to modern times, well as far as they are able, I guess. If I was to describe everything there is to see it would be the longest review in history, so I'll stick to a few of what were, for me, the highlights.

Exhibit 1 - This conquered Europe?

The Panzer I, the Blitzkrieg tank. We can all envisage the black lines snaking across the map of Europe, firstly Czechoslovakia, then the plains of Poland, then the Low Countries and France. They seemed, and indeed were, unstoppable: a combination of power, speed and will. Without the Channel, they would undoubtedly have rolled all the way to the Orkneys. And how was this achieved? In a tiny thing hardly bigger than a modern armoured car. It's no taller than me - I could practically see right over it. The bigger German beasts, the Tigers and King Tigers came much later. As I understand it, the British Matilda tanks were no match even for these comparative midgets, but the French Renaults and Somuas were. The Somua had a 47mm gun, compared with the Panzer 20mm, and it shot faster and straighter. Some of the French tank squadrons achieved notable successes, especially when led by a certain Col de Gaulle. So the first lesson in tank warfare is: deployment is as important as speed and firepower.

Exhibit 2 - The Eye of the Tiger

These are the ones we all want to see. Few of us could recite British tanks' names, but Tiger tanks are legendary. Remember the showdown in "Kelly's Heroes"? If you want a classic tank outline, a Tiger is what you draw. Having worked our way through the Trabbies, Ladas, Minis, Rovers and Golfs, these are the BMWs of the tank world. It was a Tiger that single-handedly took out a row of British Cromwells one morning in June 1944 at Villers-Bocage, its 88mm gun creating havoc and its 120mm armour making it impregnable to counter-attack. The King Tiger was the biggest tank of world war 2 weighing in at 70 tons. The only model in full working order is right here. It was a bit sluggish, given its weight, but that didn't matter too much as nothing could penetrate the armour or live with its 88mm gun and 3 machine-guns.

Exhibit 3 - The Russians are coming

Stalin - appropriately the "man of steel" - also liked big tanks. The T34 was manufactured in secret, in bulk, and took the German Army by surprise when they came up against them in numbers. More lightly armoured and gunned than the Tigers, it had the advantages of a low profile and very wide tracks to give it added manoeuvrability on snow and mud.

Exhibit 4 - We've got one of those!

As soon as we walked into the modern hall I recognised it. "Look, your Centurion!" My husband has some Dinky toy models which I am assured are worth something. I've got my eye on them if our pension plans don't perform as expected. Pride of place is a Centurion tank complete with tank transporter. I know it intimately. I dust it. Actually I'm rather fond of it, and pause while dusting (it doesn't take much) to play at lowering the wheel ramps and driving the tank up and on to the transporter, making engine noises all the while. So it was nice to see it in the flesh, or metal. It is quite a distinctive shape, flat on top where the more traditional superstructure shape is pyramidal. A "medium" tank, it was the standard British tank in the immediate post-war years, and well-equipped, its only weak point being somewhat under-powered which limited its speed.

Exhibit 5 - Erm, I think we've overcooked it

In a collection of behemoths like this, it is quite something to say that one in particular was stunning in size. But the British Conqueror tank was unbelievably colossal. Produced in the 1950s, it weighed a mere (!) 66 tons, less than a King Tiger, but with twice the armour (300mm) and a 120mm gun. It was so heavy it couldn't be transported by rail and not surprisingly was abandoned. Imagine an armour-clad bungalow mounted on caterpillar tracks and you get the idea. It would have frightened the hell out of an enemy, had they been able to actually get it on to a battlefield.

Tanks lack the romance of battleships, yet the comparison is there to be drawn. An armoured, enclosed warship, able to resist and inflict damage and capable of manoeuvre. Its human cargo is protected inside to a degree but completely vulnerable outside. No land warfare since 1918 has been conceivable without tanks. So here, at Tanks Central, is the opportunity to project an image of excitement. It fails. Largely, I think, because the vision is an engineer's one. Great play is made of its recovery efforts in rescuing rusting hulks from scrapheaps and restoring them to their former glory, and of the completeness of the collection. Most, as I said are in working order. I feel it is run by guys with a grease-gun in one hand, a pint (or a pastis) in the other, and an enthusiasm for discussing gear differentials and speed-to-weight ratios. Here's what it lacks.

Firstly, with all that metal available, surely one or two models could be made available to climb in and on? I have been in a Lancaster, a B17, operated the anti-aircraft guns on HMS Belfast and sat in the pilot's seat of a Spitfire. Surely there must be an old wreck or two, or some spare-parts machines that we could sit in, close the hatch and sight the guns?

More importantly, it needs to be laid out differently. The essence of tank construction is to optimise armour, firepower, speed and range (you see, I learnt something) so each exhibit has its statistics carefully logged, but unless you have a brain like a computer it is impossible to carry these details around and compare one with another in the present linear/historical/geographical arrangement. What's needed are some confrontational displays: these tanks defeated those because they were better armoured, better led, had more fire power or whatever combination of these factors applies. So group the desert battle tanks together and analyse the results. Ditto for the Battle of France, Battle of the Bulge, Battle of Kursk or even small but well-known engagements like Villers-Bocage. It would also be an opportunity to highlight personalities and give a human element to the leadership which is almost entirely missing. You could go round here and never read about Rommel, Montgomery, Guderian, Patton (who actually attended the Saumur Cavalry School in 1912), Wittmann, let alone understand why they were successful.

They're going to need some presentational help, though. There is one small scenario laid out here, and the skimpiness of the information is criminal. For the engagement it describes actually took place here in Saumur, and to find out what happened I had to google when I got back home. In June 1940, as the French army was being driven back, the Cavalry School was ordered to defend a section of the Loire. Before the German Army reached them, Pétain ordered the surrender. The Commandant asked for volunteers from the cadets - he couldn't order them as Pétain had announced the surrender order; they all volunteered. From 17 to 20 June they held their section with immense bravery, and huge casualties, until the inevitable outcome. You can read about their defiance hour by hour over these 4 days on-line. Here, where it happened, is a display of one tank and a motor-bike, a couple of impossibly handsome young waxworks, and a painted backdrop of the Loire, all draped in the tricolour. OK, it's not technically a tank engagement, and many such desperate small battles were fought out in Europe over 6 years, but the cadets deserve better.

Unless you are actually in the armed forces you are never going to see this many tanks gathered together in one place. I have to say, the combined effect of all this armoured power is awesome. The silent menace is both chilling and thrilling. And I think the museum totally overlooks this aspect in its concentration on the technicalities. For the same reason, it won't appeal to children. We were there on a Sunday afternoon in September and practically had the place to ourselves. What a waste.

Details:
Open every day except Christmas Day and New Year's Day. October to April 10am to 5pm, May to September 9.30am to 5.30pm. Prices: adults 6€, children (7 - 13) 3.50€. As they have to actually manoeuvre the tanks around, it is accessible to pushchairs and wheelchairs! There is a small café and a shop.
 

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