So there we were in Saumur. We'd visited the castle and picnicked in the park by the castle, looking over the town, the Loire and the countryside beyond. "What shall we do now," I asked. "Let's go to the Tank Museum," said my other half.

I was still iffing and butting as we pulled up outside and went in, as I always knew we would. We emerged about 2½ hours later having had a thoroughly enjoyable afternoon. If armoured warfare is your thing, stop what you are doing and go at once. You'll feel like you've died and gone to heaven. If tanks and such are most definitely NOT your thing, however, this museum won't convert you.

The lay-out is historical. We start pre- and during first world war, when the possibilities of tanks were being explored for the first time. The first "tank" battle was at Cambrai in 1916. The display moves on to world war 2, a room for the Germans and a room for the Allies. Then the Cold War, then up to modern times, well as far as they are able, I guess. If I was to describe everything there is to see it would be the longest review in history, so I'll stick to a few of what were, for me, the highlights.

The Panzer I, the Blitzkrieg tank. We can all envisage the black lines snaking across the map of Europe, firstly Czechoslovakia, then the plains of Poland, then the Low Countries and France. They seemed, and indeed were, unstoppable: a combination of power, speed and will. Without the Channel, they would undoubtedly have rolled all the way to the Orkneys. And how was this achieved? In a tiny thing hardly bigger than a modern armoured car. It's no taller than me - I could practically see right over it. The bigger German beasts, the Tigers and King Tigers came much later. As I understand it, the British Matilda tanks were no match even for these comparative midgets, but the French Renaults and Somuas were. The Somua had a 47mm gun, compared with the Panzer 20mm, and it shot faster and straighter. Some of the French tank squadrons achieved notable successes, especially when led by a certain Col de Gaulle. So the first lesson in tank warfare is: deployment is as important as speed and firepower.

These are the ones we all want to see. Few of us could recite British tanks' names, but Tiger tanks are legendary. Remember the showdown in "Kelly's Heroes"? If you want a classic tank outline, a Tiger is what you draw. Having worked our way through the Trabbies, Ladas, Minis, Rovers and Golfs, these are the BMWs of the tank world. It was a Tiger that single-handedly took out a row of British Cromwells one morning in June 1944 at Villers-Bocage, its 88mm gun creating havoc and its 120mm armour making it impregnable to counter-attack. The King Tiger was the biggest tank of world war 2 weighing in at 70 tons. The only model in full working order is right here. It was a bit sluggish, given its weight, but that didn't matter too much as nothing could penetrate the armour or live with its 88mm gun and 3 machine-guns.

Stalin - appropriately the "man of steel" - also liked big tanks. The T34 was manufactured in secret, in bulk, and took the German Army by surprise when they came up against them in numbers. More lightly armoured and gunned than the Tigers, it had the advantages of a low profile and very wide tracks to give it added manoeuvrability on snow and mud.

As soon as we walked into the modern hall I recognised it. "Look, your Centurion!" My husband has some Dinky toy models which I am assured are worth something. I've got my eye on them if our pension plans don't perform as expected. Pride of place is a Centurion tank complete with tank transporter. I know it intimately. I dust it. Actually I'm rather fond of it, and pause while dusting (it doesn't take much) to play at lowering the wheel ramps and driving the tank up and on to the transporter, making engine noises all the while. So it was nice to see it in the flesh, or metal. It is quite a distinctive shape, flat on top where the more traditional superstructure shape is pyramidal. A "medium" tank, it was the standard British tank in the immediate post-war years, and well-equipped, its only weak point being somewhat under-powered which limited its speed.

In a collection of behemoths like this, it is quite something to say that one in particular was stunning in size. But the British Conqueror tank was unbelievably colossal. Produced in the 1950s, it weighed a mere (!) 66 tons, less than a King Tiger, but with twice the armour (300mm) and a 120mm gun. It was so heavy it couldn't be transported by rail and not surprisingly was abandoned. Imagine an armour-clad bungalow mounted on caterpillar tracks and you get the idea. It would have frightened the hell out of an enemy, had they been able to actually get it on to a battlefield.

Pictures of Tank Museum (Musée des Blindés) Saumur

The King

• 
• 
• 
• 

Firstly, with all that metal available, surely one or two models could be made available to climb in and on? I have been in a Lancaster, a B17, operated the anti-aircraft guns on HMS Belfast and sat in the pilot's seat of a Spitfire. Surely there must be an old wreck or two, or some spare-parts machines that we could sit in, close the hatch and sight the guns?

They're going to need some presentational help, though. There is one small scenario laid out here, and the skimpiness of the information is criminal. For the engagement it describes actually took place here in Saumur, and to find out what happened I had to google when I got back home. In June 1940, as the French army was being driven back, the Cavalry School was ordered to defend a section of the Loire. Before the German Army reached them, Pétain ordered the surrender. The Commandant asked for volunteers from the cadets - he couldn't order them as Pétain had announced the surrender order; they all volunteered. From 17 to 20 June they held their section with immense bravery, and huge casualties, until the inevitable outcome. You can read about their defiance hour by hour over these 4 days on-line. Here, where it happened, is a display of one tank and a motor-bike, a couple of impossibly handsome young waxworks, and a painted backdrop of the Loire, all draped in the tricolour. OK, it's not technically a tank engagement, and many such desperate small battles were fought out in Europe over 6 years, but the cadets deserve better.