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Costa Del Rubbish Tip
A review by MurkyDismal on Tenerife (Spain)
July 24th, 2006


Author's product rating:   Tenerife (Spain) - rated by MurkyDismal

Value for Money Good 
Sightseeing Excellent 
Shopping Good 
Nightlife Good 
Ease of getting around Average 

Advantages: The sun .  the beaches, the bars
Disadvantages: the dirt and the slimy blokes

Recommend to potential buyers: yes 

Full review
I've just come back from a week in Tenerife and I thought I'd share my experiences with you and give you a bit of information incase you ever fancy a visit.

~*~TENERIFE IN GENERAL ~*~

Tenerife is a Spanish island and is one of the largest of the seven Canary Islands in the Atlantic Ocean, off the coast of Africa. The island is of volcanic origin, and was created by 3 volcanic eruptions approximately 3.5 million years ago. The most recent earthquake in Tenerife was in 2002 and reached 4 on the Richter Scale.

The largest city in Tenerife is Santa Cruz, which is the capital of the island. The approximate population of the island is 778,071.

The average temperature in Tenerife is between 20 - 22 °C. On cooler days it usually drops to around 15 °C and on hot days up to about 30 °C. The south of the island is warmer and sunnier than the north, and is usually where the younger fun seeking holiday makers head. The north of the island is much greener than the south, and sometimes in the winter there is even the possibility of snow, this is where the older holiday makers and those looking for a quieter relaxing holiday usually head.

Tenerife is called "The Island of Eternal Spring" because of the climate and green vegetation in the north.

The Euro is now used in Tenerife. The costs on the island aren't particularly cheap with a bottle of wine costing about £4 and a glass of beer costing around £1.15. If you're looking for a dirt cheap holiday Tenerife isn't the place. UK citizens can stay on the island for up to 90 days without a Visa, so if you fancy extending your break, you've got up to 90 days to do it in! There is no time difference between the UK and Tenerife, perfect if you want to ring home, and you're worried about waking them up. You'll need an electrical adapter in Tenerife, for items such as hair driers and straighteners. They're available in places like Boots for about £3. Tenerife has two airports, Los Rodeos airport is situated in the north of the island near La Laguna and the second airport is the Reina Sofia, which will probably be the one you fly into as the other air port isn't usually used by tourists it's used for local flights. The flight will take you about 4 hours from any UK airport; we flew with a company called Iberian Air. The main language in Tenerife is Spanish, but most locals and business owners, do give English a good go, so unless you're heading off into the small villages you don't really need to learn the language.


~*~PLAYA DE LAS AMERICAS ~*~

Las Americas is situated on the South West of the island in the borough of Arona. Las Americas was more or less where we stayed. It was classed as Las Americas but I'd say it was probably more the Los Christianos / Las Vistas area, as Veronicas was a good ten minute walk away. Las Americas is very tourist orientated. It's not the place to be if you're looking for a quiet subdued holiday. It was built in the late 1960's and neighbours Los Cristianos and Costa Adeje. It has a busy nightlife and is very 'English' with rows and rows of British Pubs and Fish and Chip shops. Las Americas has fabulous beaches, water sports, shopping facilities, theme parks, eateries, entertainment and a huge variety of bars and pubs. There is a main strip of bars called Veronicas which is located very near the beach, during the day it's busy with tourists buying bits and pieces from the souvenir shops, or getting their hair braided by the Africans who come over for 2 day visits, they come on the ferry then have to return after two days.

~*~TRAVELLING~*~

Planes leave for Tenerife from all UK airports. We flew from Newcastle with AirEuropa. Out flights were 10.35 pm leaving the UK, but we left Newcastle at 10.10pm (the first flight I've ever been early to arrive at my destination on) and arrived at 2.20am, instead of the estimated 3.30am. The flight wasn't too bad, despite not paying for in flight meals, we all received them. Although there were no vegetarian options, or actually any other option at all. Both going and coming back the meals were pretty much the same, horrible pasta with chicken and tomato sauce, portion of carrot and cabbage (salad), bread roll, piece of cake and a cup for your tea or coffee. If I'd had to pay £10 for the meal I'd have been very disappointed but for free I really can't complain. If in future I had a choice though, I wouldn't choose to fly with AirEuropa again. The staff weren't particularly helpful and I thought they looked unprofessional dressed in jeans and a shirt.

The best way to travel in Tenerife is by taxi. It's probably not a good idea if you're a nervous passenger though. Bus are also easy to access but I preferred taxis.

~*~ACCOMODATION~*~

We stayed in the Mar Ola II Apartments, which are situated on a busy road. There are loads of different types of accommodation, obviously with varying standards and prices. It doesn't matter where you stay, make sure you hire a safety deposit box; otherwise you run the risk of losing all your valuables. We rented ours for 30 Euros and a 10 euro deposit which we got back at the end of the week. It may sound expensive, but it's definitely worth it. We had a 1 bed Apartment which had a double balcony with two double patio doors facing the pool. There was a good size bedroom with two twin beds and plenty of storage space. There was also a dressing table with mirror and two with 2 pull out beds in the main room.

The kitchen area had a four hob cooker top, a fridge and plenty of plates and cutlery, including a bottle opener!

The maids clean the room every day with the exception of Wednesdays and Sundays (unless the room is being changed over). I've got to comment on the cleanliness though it 'look's clean but after walking over the floor your feet are black! It's clean where you can see, but definitely not hygienic. The bathroom had a bath and shower, sink and toilet all of which were ok. Hot water is limited but it was so hot when we were there it was nicer to have a cold shower to cool down anyway.

The apartments were ok for a cheap holiday, fantastic base if you're going on a girly / lads holiday, but not suitable for families or the older generation as it's extremely noisy and busy from about 4am - 8am when people are coming back from nights out. The balconies are also very low, and are easy to climb over, so be careful not to leave you balcony doors open or anything valuable on your tables.

The staff in the apartments and friendly and helpful when ever you needed to speak to them.

~*~DURING THE DAY~*~

During the day there are numerous things that holiday makers can get up to. If you're happy sunbathing and lazing round the pool, there are plenty of places. I went with the intention of toping up my tan and having a peaceful and relaxing holiday. The beaches are lovely, but the ones down at Las Americas have black sand and loads of stones! - So watch your feet! I preferred the beach at Las Vistas, it's a man made beach with golden sands. You can hire sun loungers and umbrellas. A sun lounger and umbrella cost 6 euros or two and an umbrella was 9 euros. You were able to use these for the full day though if you wanted. It's just as easy to take a towel down and lie on the sand though. The beach at Las Vistas is gorgeous and the waters are clear and blue. I loved wandering along the edge of the water.

There are some nice bars along the front in Las Vistas, look out for Taylor's, it was very friendly and made you feel welcomed. There are also loads of little souvenir shops along that way, you can pick up some really pretty things. Watch out for the bargain perfume, it's quite a bit cheaper over in Tenerife, I managed to pick up 6 bottles for about 100 euros. There are loads of shops that specialise in perfume and make up. I also brought quite a lot of alcohol home. They sell the most gorgeous Smirnoff vodka, which is flavoured with Vanilla, Raspberry or Citrus. I cost me 12 euros for a 1.5 litre bottle! I also brought back some Absinthe (which is so deadly) and various local liquors, which you can get for as little as 2 euros!

There are also various excursions and tours you can book, if you want to take in some of the sights and culture while you're there. You can book this from small booths in the main part of Tenerife. Be careful though, there are a lot of people willing to rip you off. The cheapest isn't always the safest option.

There are various places to visit, e.g.

Teide National Park

This is where Mount Teide Volcano is situated. The park lies around 2000 metres above sea level. During the summer months this looks like something out of a John Wayne film. It's stark with cactus littered about. In the winter snow falls and the roads up to the Volcano are often closed. You can access the Volcano either by foot or by cable car. You can almost reach the summit, please be aware though, the higher you get the thinner the air gets. If you suffer asthma make sure you take your inhaler. It is also quite cold, so bikini tops and shorts are no good, take a thickish top and cover up. This is the most visited tourist attraction in Tenerife and is definitely worth a visit. The views are breathtaking and it's an experience you'll never forget. Prices for this excursion vary. I didn't go on this excursion but some of my group did and they loved it.

Loro Parque

Loro Parque is home to collection of over 300 species of parrot, and has features such as a sea-lion show, dolphin show and a Gambian Market. It costs around 16 Euros / £11 each approximately to visit the park, but is amazing to see. There are parrots, chimps, lions and loads of other animals. It's a great day out and if you're an animal lover you'll love it.

Glass Bottomed Boat

This was available from various locations including Puerto Colon and Las Vistas. We went on the one from Las Vistas and it cost 15 euros for a two hour journey. It was quite a small boat and there were about 15 people on board. Make sure you take a hat and sun tan lotion on these type of journeys because the heat is so intense out on the sea, you'll burn! The dolphins were amazing to see and had lots of little baby ones when we were there. If you want a good view though, don't sit next to the Germans!

~*~ EATING OUT~*~

There are various eateries in Tenerife, ranging from fast food outlets to very posh restaurants. There's always the option of the Spanish cuisine, I loved trying all the new and different things, but if you prefer English food, there are plenty of places that will cater for you. There is a lovely Chinese restaurant called Overseas which is located at the bottom of the San Marino apartment block. It was gorgeous, and Tony the owner was really friendly and helpful with his advice on insect bites! It cost us about 80 euros for two rounds of drinks and a meal for four.

There is a lovely fish restaurant just under the bridge at Las Vistas, just before you reach the harbour. I can't remember the name, but it did the most gorgeous Prawns in garlic.

If normal English food is more you thing, there's a nice little bar called The Castle Inn in Las Americas on the way along to Puerto Colon. It does lovely jacket potatoes for about 3.50 euros and gorgeous full English breakfasts for 2.95 euros. Tenerife caters for everyone, with both a Burger King and a MacDonald's located central to Las Americas. There are various small cafes and restaurants which are reasonably priced. Most restaurants have the menus in various languages so don't panic.

There are also some nice restaurants overlooking the harbour at Puerto Colon, which is a nice stroll away. If you walk there, get a taxi back as you'll be stuff after your meal.


~*~THE NIGHT LIFE~*~

The nightlife all depends on the person I guess. There are plenty of quieter pubs located on the way to Los Christianos but the main night life, especially for the younger generation is Veronicas which is on the front at Las Americas. You do need to keep your wits about you at Veronicas though. The first thing you'll notice is the PR's trying to drag you in off the street, this is a massive thing at night, but you'll also notice it during the day but at a smaller scale, during the day it's mainly to get you to go into restaurants. At night they'll try and tempt you in with the offer of free shots, or two for ones all night. The shots are usually very weak and more like fruit juice than alcohol and the two for ones aren't usually free at all, as it's so expensive to buy the normal round. There are also a lot of Spanish and Moroccan people in the bars and clubs in Veronicas. I found the Moroccans to be quite slimy and hard to get rid of! We didn't go to Veronica's every night, well not the main strip. There are plenty of fun bars located just off the main strip, in an area called Starko. The bars on Veronicas are worth a try, but not particularly amazing, they're expensive, dirty and very overcrowded, but Watch out for Bonkers which is a good laugh. It's very English with load dance music and cheesy older stuff, which is great to have a dance to. Linekars is also good fun with friendly bar staff.

Another great bar down that end was The Quayside Bar. It's a small English sit down bar with the loveliest bar man in the world (Paul - if only he didn't have a girlfriend!) Some of the people I was with knew the owner so we spent a while there. Stay away from the Absinthe and Baileys though - deadly stuff! It's called Concrete for a reason.

Places like Bobby's and Busby's are infamous for drink spiking. We went to both to give them a go, and all though the atmosphere was good, with people having a laugh and dancing, there is an underlying edge to it, it all seems a bit dodgy and you need to be wary of who you talk to and dance with. The whole of Veronicas is worth trying, as there are some good bars and clubs, but the drinks are expensive.

We went to a great Karaoke bar called The Full Monty, and there was a bloke from Loro Parque with three snakes. I ended up being roped into holding a 6 foot albino python!

On the way back from our nights out, we found a lovely all night café / bar very close to the hotel, it was called Café Epoch and was great. It was mainly Spanish people who used it, but was great for calling for a Macchiato coffee and a sandwich on the way home!


~*~ THINGS TO BE WARY OF~*~

Like any holiday resort there are things to be wary or careful of. Nowhere in the world is perfect, so it's good to have your wits about you. Cockroaches can be rife in Tenerife. They usually live in little cracks and tiny spaces, so you're more likely to see them if your hotel or apartments are on the old side. They eat just about anything, including fingernails, glue, pet food and cigarettes! There were no cockroaches in our actual apartments but I did see quite a few at the pool area on an evening and on the streets when we were walking home. Some people can be allergic to cockroaches if you find that you have any in your apartment, don't panic, go down to the local shop where they sell various sprays and powders to get rid of them.

Time Share / Winning on the scratch cards - Tenerife has got to be the Timeshare or holiday co-ownership as they prefer to call it, capital of the world. If you look English, over the age of 25 and under the age of 60 you'll be approached, after that you may be asked to help them with a holiday questionnaire on behalf of the Spanish tourist board, or the more common scratch card. These scratch cards are all winners, you'll end up with a bottle of champagne or 100 cigarettes, but you'll need to go and listening to about 5 hours of hard selling to collect your prize. It's not worth it. Just keep your head down and keep walking or tell them you don't do timeshare.

The Looky - looky men - be careful of what you buy, the cheap gold they sell isn't a bargain, it's fake and it's likely to turn your hands green! I did end up buying a couple of sparkly bracelets in bars. I like costume jewellry so I wasn't expecting diamonds and pearls. For two bracelets for 5 euros I couldn't complain. Watch out for the pickpockets and bag snatchers while you're in Tenerife, on various occasions we saw people who had seen thins stolen. Watch out for people pushing past you and stay away from dark alleyways and very quiet places. Be wary of the African women offering to braid your hair. They're not legally allowed to do it, and if the police come they'll do a runner, leaving you with half a head of braided hair. The prices aren't cheap either, but if you do decide to do it, make sure you have someone else sat with you.

I'd heard in the past that Tenerife is famous for its prostitutes, but I can't say I saw any. I know there's supposed to be a street which is nicknamed 'Prostitutes Lane' which is near Veronicas, but I can't comment too much as I didn't see it. It was one of the things I was warned about when I went to Tenerife though, so I'm passing on the information.

Walking home is not a good idea as I found out. One night I ended up walking home alone, I was reasonably sober and just fancied some fresh air before going to bed. All the way home I was pestered by men in cars, I've got to say though it was the Spanish men I found intimidating, blowing kisses out of the car and crawling along beside me. Just be careful, try and stay in a group.

~*~COMMENTS ON TENERIFE~*~

Overall Tenerife wasn't a bad place. It did remind me a lot of Blackpool though. If I ever went again I would either stay smack bang next to Veronicas for a mad weeks holiday or I'd stay further out in Los Christianos where it's quieter and cleaner. Las Americas was very busy and commercialized and also pretty dirty. The prices weren't too different from home and with there being so many English visitors and staff it isn't hard to get people to understand what you want. I'm not sure where I'd visit Tenerife again, there are a lot of other places I'd rather try and places I've been more impressed with. But a week in the sun, with plenty of drink isn't bad.
 




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