The Lake District (England)

...been there almost annually for the past 15 years, it struck me that now might be as good a time as any to give you my perspective.

Let me point out straight away, that I am NOT a born hiker or a camper (mmm, ducky). To me, ‘fell walking’ is an explanation of my horizontal position vis-à-vis the pavement on New Year’s Eve, not a healthy outdoor activity.

I just felt the need to put pen to paper (figuratively at least) ...
...as the domain of the depressingly fit, that there’s plenty else to do, without resorting to Gortex and hiking boots. I’m not against a nice walk, nay even hike in the countryside (or even up a hill or two) – I’d just rather not do it knowing that the weather is already bad – getting caught out in it is another matter.

THAT WEATHER

Yes, let’s get this bit out of the way first.

With the exception of high ... more

Having just got back from spending Christmas in ‘The Lakes’, and having been there almost annually for the past 15 years, it struck me that now might be as good a time as any to give you my perspective.

Let me point out straight away, that I am NOT a born hiker or a camper (mmm, ducky). To me, ‘fell walking’ is an explanation of my horizontal position vis-à-vis the pavement on New Year’s Eve, not a healthy outdoor activity.

I just felt the need to put pen to paper (figuratively at least) to show those who view areas like the Lake District as the domain of the depressingly fit, that there’s plenty else to do, without resorting to Gortex and hiking boots. I’m not against a nice walk, nay even hike in the countryside (or even up a hill or two) – I’d just rather not do it knowing that the weather is already bad – getting caught out in it is another matter.

THAT WEATHER

Yes, let’s get this bit out of the way first.

With the exception of high summer, I have now visited The Lakes in all seasons (well, all school holidays anyway), and I have to say that I now know how the lakes got there! It never fails to amaze me how hurt people seem when they complain that they ‘went there but all it did was rain’. Well, HELLO, wake up and smell the coffee guys!! If I remember my geography, The Lakes represent an example of radial drainage and a watershed, where the combination of a coastal climate and high ground encourage clouds to disgorge themselves of their contents – i.e. it rains a lot.

Having said that, I’ve also enjoyed my best autumn ever in The Lakes – every single day was glorious with colours to rival NEW England, let alone the old one. One tip though; if you see a photo opportunity, with an interesting light effect, for goodness sake find somewhere to stop the car and snap the picture – I guarantee that you won’t get the same chance again that week!

Our trips to The Lakes tend to form a pattern, in so much that they become annual pilgrimages to various old well-trodden favourites, combined with a few new pubs at which lunch will no doubt be partaken. I pray every day to whoever might be listening that her indoors won’t find somewhere else to extend her repertoire of retail experiences as well!

In no particular order, here are some of our tried and tested venues, some of which don’t even involve getting out of the car, which is just as well as some of the local municipal car-park fees are as steep as the roads themselves!

THE BOWNESS FERRY

You wouldn’t think that Windermere would justify its own car-ferry, but bear in mind that it’s England’s longest lake, and the ferry divides it almost exactly in two, conveniently where it’s narrowest too! The ferry is a chain-propelled device looking like a landing craft. The fare per car is £2.50, and it links Bowness and Windermere (the town) to the western side of the lake, making access to Hawkshead, Coniston and Sawrey (for Beatrix Potter country – argghhh!) a lot easier and more pleasant than schlepping all around either end of the lake. Not only that, but at this time of year, it gives spectacular panoramic views of the semi-snow-clad mountains to the north. One word of advice – in summer you ignore the ‘60/40/20 Minutes Wait At This Point’ signs at your peril, they’re not bluffing. If however, you can get to within 30 cars of the front of the queue, then you’ll probably get on the next one, ‘shed-draggers’* permitting.

*What makes you think I don’t like towing-caravans?

I always look for an excuse to use the ferry at least once on every holiday just for old time’s sake, although, at £2.50, it doesn’t save on fuel, but of course, if time is of the essence, then it may well ‘cost in’.

‘OUR’ WASDALE EXPERIENCE

No it’s not a sit-on ride like Yorvik or The Canterbury Experience, but a trip we make nearly every time we go the The Lakes. We normally use the Ambleside area as our base at the northern end of Windermere and so Wasdale is a drive of some 20-odd miles, some of it spent at a similar number (or more) of degrees to the horizontal.

Wasdale is a long dead-end valley of glacial origins, containing Wastwater, England’s deepest inland water, and it’s easy to see why, when you project the distinct U-shape of Wasdale’s sides into the water itself. This is a fjord cut off from the sea.

Getting there from Ambleside involves either the ‘sissy’s rout’ via the south eastern perimeter of the Lake District or the big boy’s route, involving the Wrynose** and Hardknott Passes, not the highest roads in Europe by any means, but they make up for it in narrowness, bumpiness of surface and vertiginous gradient (and they tend to possess all three at once, not to mention ice in winter). The Wrynose has particularly rippled tarmac, just at the point that a front-wheel-drive car needs most grip on the up gradient – lovely when wet as you can imagine! If icy, forget it without 4-wheel-drive. Don’t be fooled though by mere ‘wet’ conditions; last year, I drove up a ‘merely wet’ gradient to find that the down side, which had been shaded from the sun, was covered in ice and slush. That gave the traction control and anti-lock brakes something to think about, I can tell you. Turn back? Moi?

**When my navigator/wife first told me where we were going, I could have sworn she said something about ‘driving up a rhino’s arse’.

On the way over, you pass Hardknott Fort, created by the Roman military, although compared to some of their more temperate locations; this must have constituted a ‘punishment posting’. “There’ll be no under-floor heating for you, Biggus Diccus, off you go now, and stop whingeing!”

Having survived the passes, you then pass the oddly named village of Boot, followed rapidly by Dalegarth, the eastern terminal station of the miniature Ravenglass & Eskdale Railway, its other end being Ravenglass, not surprisingly.

This is a 15” gauge line similar to the Romney Hythe & Dymchurch Railway, for those that know it, and it follows the route of an old slate-carrying line down to terminate next to the main line at Ravenglass station on the tidal Esk estuary near the coast. The station building is now the ‘Ratty Arms’ pub, although trains on the Barrow/Whitehaven line still stop there. The miniature line is lovingly referred to as ‘L’al Ratty’ – Little Old Ratty, and it’s a joy in summer to see and hear these little steam locomotives barking their way up the gradient to Dalegarth, a not inconsiderable climb for mere ‘models’, especially with a full load of passengers behind.

Once past Boot, you more or less double back on yourself to enter Wasdale, which at first seems quite verdant and not the least bit rugged. Then you enter the main U-shape of the valley and things get decidedly rockier, with the road to the left and scree slopes to the right of The Water itself, which thanks to its depth and the shadow of The Screes, always conspires to look black to me. No motorised boating is allowed on Wastwater.

Towards the far end, the valley flattens out again, but is completely hemmed in by mountains, Great Gable being a prominent example at nearly 3000’. I realise that this is hardly alpine standard, and there’s no real need for oxygen - well not unless you go into the smoker’s section at the Wasdale Head Inn that is! Somehow though, the mountains around here make up for their lack of height by being close, so that the apparent neck-aching scale and awe is maintained.

Having ‘driven the passes’, the traveller can allow themselves some ‘R&R’, and what better place than the Inn itself? This really has to be one of my favourite pubs in the whole of The Lakes. Apart from being mercifully good AND the only one for miles (not a common combination in Britain), it is also known for its annual Lying Competition where all-comers vie with each other to tell the hugest whopper they can.

The beer’s good too! Of course, when it’s running, you could always ride L’al Ratty to Ravenglass and lunch in The Ratty Arms, but it’s a bit ‘Soup In A Basket***, With Chips’ and a lot of microwave ‘pinging’ is to be heard, if you know what I mean.

***Soup In A Basket? – must be that ‘Leak’ Soup I keep hearing about!

In winter, a trip like this uses up most of the daylight hours, and I’m no fan of driving the lanes of The Lakes in the dark, unless on a mission, say to a restaurant booking, so it’s back to the flat and get t’mulled wine on t’boil, mutha!

THE ROAD TO KESWICK

This one is worth it for the drive alone. Leaving Ambleside on the A591 heading north to Keswick is a real treat for a driver normally subjected to suburban roads. Leaving Ambleside, you first skirt Rydal (the only valley to retain its Nordic spelling) with its eponymous Water and Grasmere. The road then becomes wider as you climb a very long incline through rugged fell-side scenery. Breasting the summit of this pass, you then descend to pass the full length of Thirlmere (an artificial reservoir holding a large proportion of Manchester’s water needs). Artificial or not, it doesn’t look too out of place for those that never knew the valley before, although just one look tells you it’s deep. To your right, you have Helvellyn, another of The Lakes ‘big three’, but from down here, with heavy woodland blocking the view, it’s hard to tell. The lesser road on the west bank of Thirlmere would give better panoramic views.

What I particularly like about this road is how it passes through the epitome of what I love about The Lakes. In an entire area that would only take you less than two hours to traverse completely, The Lakes bring you scenery that varies from flat coastal marshes (e.g Grange Over Sands, Ravenglass etc) to the rolling green countryside of South Lakeland and the rugged wind-swept barrenness of Wast Water and Ulpha Fell. It’s almost like The Creator’s practice session before going on to make The Scottish Highlands. You get all of these, (without the coastal bits), on this drive. Just as you are about to plunge down into Keswick, you are rewarded with a sudden glimpse of Derwentwater there below. There’s nothing quite like it on a sunny day to recharge your enjoyment of driving.

THE SHOPPING

I can name our main venues without fear of contradiction from my retail consultant. The headquarters of the esteemed Lakeland Limited, famous for cookware and much more, are to be found in Windermere by the railway station. Try as I might, I never seem able to escape a visit here, and what with being there over Christmas, the Boxing Day sale was on, what a surprise. We got off lightly this year, some of those Klippit thingies for plastic bags, a cuddly dog (?) and some mini-Christmas Puds. That sigh of relief was my wallet relaxing.

Oh yes, and while we’re in Lakeland, the Booth’s supermarket is only on the other side of the station. Southerners like myself can only look and weep as we walk down Booth’s aisles – the whole damned place is almost a deli, and that’s before you get to the deli counter. Unfortunately for me, Booth’s are a Preston-based family firm, spreading from Keswick in the north to Knutsford, Cheshire in the south, although their wine-orientated web-site will mail wine all over the country. Their selection of bottled beers is also VERY commendable.

Of course, an ear-ring junky like my wife will have terrible trouble steering clear of The Rock Shop in Ambleside. As well as jewellery, The Rock Shop sells many interesting geologically-based samples and artefacts from all around the world, and actually has a display of giant ‘geodes’ upstairs. A geode is a solidified volcanic bubble, where minerals have seeped into the hollow centre, crystallizing to form amethysts*.

(*UseLESS information: Amethyst comes from the Greek ‘amethystos’ meaning ‘lacking inebriation’, i.e. sober. Greeks believed that wearing amethyst helped you stay sober – yeah right! I’m off now to get ‘methystos as a newt’ with my beers from Booth’s.)

No trip to The Lakes can go unpunished completely though, so to salve our consciences and lack of activity over Christmas, off we trolled to The Hawkshead shop, in err…..oh yes, Hawkshead. This is a large shop mainly dedicated to outdoor clothing and footwear. Guess what? Their sale was on too! To make sure that we actually got some exercise, I parked in the far corner of the car park. Well, it’s a start!

THE PUBS & EATING OUT IN GENERAL

It would be difficult to button-hole the pubs of The Lakes. For every idyllic low-ceilinged pub with a blazing fire and excellent food, there’s another with about as much atmosphere as Brentford High Street** on a wet winter Sunday afternoon. This is where guides like The Good Pub Guide, and to a lesser extent The Good Beer Guide, come into their own.

**If you’ve never been there, take my word for it, and don’t go.

There are some very interesting ones though – there’s The Tower Bank Arms at Near Sawrey, which distinguishes itself by being a National Trust property (no, you can’t wave your membership cards and bum a free drink) – perfect for a bit of a rest after a hard morning’s Beatrix-Pottering around at Hill Top Cottage next door. I have NEVER done the latter, as I abhor BP like nature abhors a vacuum (a Dyson?).

The Sun Inn at Coniston has Donald Campbell memorabilia, as the late DC used this pub as his HQ during his water speed record attempts including the one that killed him. It also has Anthony Hopkins memorabilia from a few years ago when he played the part of Campbell in the BBC’s ‘The Lake’.

The Strawberry Bank Arms at Cartmel Fell is definitely a get-there-early pub with not much room but excellent bar food, and a dazzling selection of beers. They even produce their own premium beer using local damsons for an unusual flavour (available in Booth’s!).

Another firm favourite, unfortunately of a lot of people, is The Drunken Duck at Barngates. Here again, a combination of older style surroundings (with log fire) and good food make this a very pleasant way of spending lunchtime or an evening (or perhaps even the gap in between too)

Other eateries we have tried and can recommend for those ‘push the boat out’ moments include:-

The Glass House Restaurant right next to the famous ‘House On the Bridge’ in Ambleside is a real find. This converted water mill still has moving parts inside - shame really that they can’t do something ‘green’ with all that power going to waste, even if it’s only drive ceiling fans in summer. Food here is high on quality and presentation, and we’re told that Gordon Ramsey has been there during an upcoming series on Channel 4. Don’t expect much change from 40 quid a head though.

Also in Ambleside is the Log House, which really is a Norwegian Log House reconstructed in The Lakes firstly as an art gallery and now for eating in. Food here is also very tasty and varied using as much local produce as possible – it also has the advantage of being one of the few places that served Christmas Day lunch, without insisting that you are a guest there (it’s not a hotel, they couldn’t).

Another good evening out in Ambleside involves dining at a vegetarian pizza joint called Zefferelli’s, where for around £15, you can eat first and go to the neighbouring cinema inclusive – at least you could last year, we didn’t get time to try this year.

OUR ACCOMMMODATION

Almost without exception, we have used a booking agency called Heart of The Lakes for our holiday lets. This Christmas was an exception, since we wanted to travel Saturday to Saturday, whilst HOTL were taking Tuesday-Tuesday bookings (for the same place, Whitecraggs, as it happens) so we booked directly with the owner. Whitecraggs is a large Victorian house, although surprisingly modern looking for that era, placed a little way outside Ambleside near the left turn for Hawkshead. The house has its own dramatically-landscaped grounds which used to be open to the public, and are a well-known source of deer and red squirrel sightings. You are free to wander the grounds and mount the white crag (a hint at the name, perhaps?) at the rear, which towers over the house. From up top, the morning view against the sunlight as you look down Windermere is breathtaking – if Ciao re-instate the photo facility, I’ll post a few piccies.

Other holiday lets through HOTL have included luxury flats overlooking a lake, cottages in working estates and the ubiquitous barn conversion.

OTHER ‘ONE-OFFS’ WORTH SEEING

(I always think the German word ‘Sehenswürdigkeiten’ – quite literally ‘seeingworthinesses’ sums that up better!)

The Lakes are not without their share of museums and working exhibits.

KESWICK, for example, is home to a Cars Of The Stars museum, containing such vehicles as ‘Lady Penelope’s’ 6-Wheeled Pink Rolls-Royce, Del Trotter’s Reliant van, a Batmobile and various James Bond exhibits. It is also home to the Cumberland Pencil Co’s Pencil Museum (oh well I remember my tins of Lakeland Pencils), with its insight into graphite and its use in writing and art – you can also pose next to the world’s largest pencil.

STOTT PARK BOBBIN MILL – situated on the western side of Windermere, between Lakeside and Hawkshead, this old steam-powered mill has been restored to show how coppiced wood was used to feed the bobbin requirements of the north west’s fabric industry. Apparently, wooden bobbins are making a comeback as they possess none of the static electricity problems associated with plastic and have found favour for the winding on of fibre-optic cables.

Wince at gruesome tales of how young girls with long hair were scalped having caught it in the machines.

Marvel at how not once bit of wood is wasted, the sawdust being used to fuel the fire that produces the steam, that drives the engine, that turns the shaft, that turns the lathes, that mill the wood, that makes the sawdust that....errrr...well, anyway, it's almost self-sufficient.

The bobbins are polished by loading them into an old barrel, complete with a block of waxy soap, sealed in and tumbled for hours (a very noisy process). Ironically, big tree trunks are used to make many small bobbins using a cross-cut ‘cake’ of wood, whereas saplings or small branches are used to make individual large bobbins. The gift shop is a good source of novelty loo handles!

THINGS TO TAKE HOME

Kendal Mint Cake, but only if you like peppermint.

Sticky Toffee Pudding, suitable for your next ‘calorie-fest’.

Grasmere Gingerbread - ditto

Herdwick Lamb (not a whole one, I’m not a rustler).

The entire contents of the following shops - Lakeland, Hawkshead, The Rock Shop.

Strawberry Bank Arms own beer.

A sheepskin – you can always work out what to do with it later.

ODDS & SODS

One of the oddest things about The Lake District is that it has hardly any lakes, well, by name anyway. Only Bassenthwaite Lake seems to carry the flag for that particular nomenclature. The vast majority are ‘Meres’ and ‘Waters’. Occasionally, you’ll hear and see Windermere referred to as Lake Windermere also, but this seems a little superfluous, like saying ‘Exmoor Moor’.

Cellphone usage can still be quite patchy, what a surprise, but of course some people come here for the very reason that the office’ll never find them! I’ve converted my old Nokia to carry two SIMS for different networks and this works well. One of the problems with promulgating cellular has been the placement of ugly antennae in what is a National Park – Orange were the first to get approval of a green and brown mast which could be hidden amongst pines looking like a lightning-struck tree trunk. Over the years, reception has steadily got better. Last year we were climbing the crag outside our flat to wish everyone a Happy Christmas, this year, we could do it from indoors. Needless to say, you don’t come to The Lakes to plug into a broadband connection for your PC unless in a main centre like Keswick or Windermere.

CONCLUSION

Well, that’s what we do in The Lakes - I don’t expect it to be everyone’s cup of tea, and it certainly wouldn’t suit those with families of mixed ages to entertain, but if you’ve a chance to get away with a partner, then you don’t HAVE to pack the hiking boots. There’s plenty that’s good to look at without climbing 3,000’ to see it.
 

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