Thistle Piccadilly, London

...boards with leaflets advertising other Thistle hotels.

Fortunately I guessed the right way (left) and, after pushing my way through an equally heavy door, I passed down a narrow corridor and found my room on the right. The key card was a bit fiddly, but it worked.

First impressions count for a lot and my first thoughts were that the room was big, but old-fashioned. I was underwhelmed. I felt it was old-fashioned in ...
...and yet more leaflets advertising Thistle hotels. An extra chair. The bathroom...

God, the bathroom was vile. Old-fashioned is good when there's an element of class and sophistication involved, but the bathroom was anything but stylish. It was awful. If the hotel claims to be following a Victorian theme, then the bathroom most certainly did not fit in.

It had horrid pink and white tiles on the floor and walls, shocking ... more

I'll get to the point. I paid £151.58 for a (non-smoking) twin room here just last week. I've stayed at several London hotels this year and this, although the most expensive, was by far the most disappointing.

In terms of its location, it's very good. Walk for less than a minute and you're in Leicester Square. There's a Hard Rock Casino around the corner, as well as a KFC, McDonalds and Pizza Hut.

First impressions were good. Clean steps, shiny doors, a handsome, smartly-dressed concierge greeting you with a warm welcome. Very nice.

Reception was immaculate with lots of glinting gold. Check-in was plain-sailing with a lady who had a huge smile on her face the whole time, flanked by two others who just watched and seemed to be learning the ropes. There were no problems. It took the usual five minutes or so to confirm my details, hand over my credit card and receive my key card.

Whilst waiting, I looked around and felt I was in for a treat. The bar to the left looked very nice. The staff all looked very smart and friendly in their matching uniforms. So far, so good.

No one offered to take my case, but I hate that, anyway. I'd rather ask for help should I require it. It wasn't heavy.

My room was on the fourth floor. Lifts were not far away, but to reach them you had to go though two heavy doors - the first you had to push, the second you had to pull. Very tight and irritating. I wondered how someone elderly or with a disability would manage.

The lifts both worked and were clean, mirrored and fast.

As soon as I got to the fourth floor and the lift door opened, I was hit with a peculiar smell. it was a hygienic, clean smell, but horrid nonetheless. I stepped onto the foyer. With doors to the left and right, there were no signs indicating which way I should go to find room 405. That would have been helpful as everything looked the same. It was easy to get lost. I think only the lift informed you that it was the fourth floor. I don't recall seeing any signs, only boards with leaflets advertising other Thistle hotels.

Fortunately I guessed the right way (left) and, after pushing my way through an equally heavy door, I passed down a narrow corridor and found my room on the right. The key card was a bit fiddly, but it worked.

First impressions count for a lot and my first thoughts were that the room was big, but old-fashioned. I was underwhelmed. I felt it was old-fashioned in a lazy, rip-off way: the old mahogany furniture had just been cleaned and cleaned and cleaned again for decades. That's what the smell was. The wallpaper appeared to have been up for decades, too.

There was a large window with thick curtains that reached the floor. A small, round table with two chairs and a tall lamp. There were two single beds, pressed together with cabinets either side of each. A radiator. The wardrobe was small, with mirrored doors and a wobbly shoe rack at its base. There was a large chest of drawers, on which sat a TV, another lamp, and yet more leaflets advertising Thistle hotels. An extra chair. The bathroom...

God, the bathroom was vile. Old-fashioned is good when there's an element of class and sophistication involved, but the bathroom was anything but stylish. It was awful. If the hotel claims to be following a Victorian theme, then the bathroom most certainly did not fit in.

It had horrid pink and white tiles on the floor and walls, shocking grouting, a lime scale-covered mixer tap that felt slimy to the touch (and the hot/cold labels were the wrong way 'round). There was a plastic bath with an off-white shower curtain. Very B&B. Very 1971. There was no chance of me using it as I was reluctant enough to use the tap! Two windows, decorated with tacky net curtains, and a large mirror completed the set. Hideous.

I was not impressed. £150 for that?!

I checked the TV. As always, the picture was terrible for most channels and many were muted. When I tried to order a movie that night - at a cost of £6.95 - I found that the sound kept disappearing and returning. I called for assistance and an apologetic but rather clueless man said that he'd speak to the manager about the problem. At least I wasn't charged for this, but it meant I was in bed at 11pm with nothing worth watching on TV, trying to ignore the noise below.

I checked the drawers. There was a hairdryer (not that I'd need it after seeing the state of the shower), and an electric kettle and tea pot with some tea bags, coffee, a sachet of hot chocolate, four round cartons of milk, sugar, sweeteners and some biscuits. No Yellow Pages, but a bible, a note pad, pen and lots of leaflets advertising Thistle hotels. They'd be lucky to win my custom a second time if all their hotels are the same as the Thistle Piccadilly.

The air conditioning worked, but it rattled. The lamp besides the TV worked sporadically. There was a trouser press on the wall that had clearly been there since the Seventies. It just proved that the place needed a revamp and, for what I had paid, I expected that revamp to have already occurred.

£150 indeed!

There was plenty of storage space, however.

To my disappointment, breakfast wasn't included in that and continental breakfast was charged at £10.50 per person. This could be taken in your room if you desired (and left your requirement hanging from the door handle before 2am). As the menu made fairly clear, there was a £3 charge for anything delivered to your room. There was no chance of me giving them any more money, that's for sure! Instead, I made use of Pizza Hut and McDonalds, only purchasing a bottle of still mineral water from the bar (at £2). The barman was a charmer and made a joke about the cost. As was the case with every member of staff I spoke with, English was his second language.

The beds were very comfortable and I slept well, in spite of the noise from the revellers outside - which meant I had to close the window - and the occasional whoosh of the heavy door in the corridor giving someone grief (or a hernia).

I didn't use room service or call the front desk any later than 10pm, so I can't vouch that someone is on hand 'round-the-clock should you require assistance, neither can I comment on the laundry facilities which are apparently available. I can confirm that the concierge has his own desk in the foyer and will help guests arrange trips, taxis and other bookings. He gave me directions to one of the cinemas and was very polite in doing so.

Funnily enough, I didn't stick around in the morning and went to the train station early so that I could at least get some breakfast without begrudging every penny spent. In truth, I couldn't wait to get out of the hotel and home so that I could take a long bath. I'm glad I stayed for just one night because a week would have been most depressing. Check-out was at midday, but I was gone well before 10am.

Checking-out took as long as it had taken to check-in, in spite of one of the printers being broken and explaining the problem with the TV to make sure that I wasn't charged for a film I didn't see. I was assured that an engineer would look at it. I was given my receipt in an envelope, offered help in getting a taxi and wished a nice day by the wide-mouthed lady, but perhaps surprisingly, no one held the door open for me on the way out. They'd got my money by this point, so why bother?

I took a couple of feedback cards so that I could let them know just what I thought of my stay. I'd already taken the shampoo, conditioner, soap and leftover tea, coffee and sugar - which I'd never normally do, I hasten to add! - to feel as though I hadn't been completely shafted. Rich pickings indeed.

I didn't call at the restaurant, which only serves breakfast anyway, so I can't comment on that. It's located on the floor beneath reception. Note that the 'R' button in the lift is for the restaurant, not reception. Apparently, if you want to, you can eat at the Thistle Trafalgar Square hotel nearby and charge the bill back to your room.

Although I didn't make use of it, apparently there is car parking available near to the hotel at a reduced rate.

As I said, I've stayed in quite a few London hotels as of late and I expected much more for what I paid. This is supposed to be a four-star hotel. I'd stayed in cheaper hotels of lesser grading and found them much cleaner and better-equipped. I hated the smell in the corridors and that bathroom really was repulsive.

I booked this hotel on the basis that it's a "traditional Victorian hotel... that offers elegant and modern facilities". That's not true. Just because something is old-fashioned and out-dated doesn't make it Victorian, historic or traditional. That said, I imagine an Anglophilic American would love it. Maybe the hotel caters to foreign tourists who find the alleged 'regal' decor exciting by giving a false interpretation of British class. How they explain the dodgy bathroom, however, I do not know.

The most modern facility would have to be the lifts. The TV, kettle, trouser press, air conditioning, shower, lamps... None were "modern". You can dispute "elegant", but you can't argue that anything was "modern". Maybe it was in 1971, but not in 2006.

I, for one, will definitely not be staying here again. I like old-fashioned, but found the Thistle Piccadilly just plain old.

The only positives were that the room was spacious, the beds were clean and comfortable, the staff were friendly and the location was ideal. I don't think it warranted the £151.58 price tag, though.

If I haven't completely put you off a stay here, then you can visit www.thistlehotels.com to find out more and to book. You can also telephone 0870 333 9118, fax 0870 333 9218 or e-mail piccadilly@thistle.co.uk with your requirements. I e-mailed the night before to confirm my details and received a prompt reply.

The hotel is located in Coventry Street, W1D 6BZ. Check-in time is 2pm and check-out time is midday. 

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