Introduction: For those of you that live in the UK or elsewhere you might not have come across a White Castle. You can only find these in about a dozen locations in the U.S. such as - Chicago, Ohio, Detroit, St Louis, New York, Nashville, Indianapolis, Louisville and Minneapolis.
White Castles is known for their square shaped hamburgers that come in a little white box shaped as a castle. The burger is about half the size of your average burger. If you can eat three McDonald’s hamburgers you will probably want to order about seven White Castle’s burgers.
White Castle hamburgers are also known as Sliders, shortly after eating, they usually slide right out. I just want to start of by saying in the late 70’s, I ate White Castles several times and I can’t remember anything negative about them. I actually was very fond of their onion rings and milk shakes. I would go there after a late night out with the ladies and drinking. White castles even back then stayed open late, I believe they had 24-hour service, but no drive through. I remember very clearly staggering in and ordering dozens of those little suckers along with all the trimmings and in total cost about $4, for myself and some young tomato to eat. In the 70’s the young ladies would not mind going to the White Castle to eat, as long as you delivered the goods later.
Times have changed and so has White Castle. My imbecile son in law thought it would be a great idea to bring me, his 71-year-old father in law a monasteries bag of these burgers, that I now call the White Devil.
The problem is my daughter feels she needs to send this big fat goof over to keep me company. It was very obvious he was drinking away all the money my daughter gave him to take me to the IHOP and he decided to buy something that was cheep just like him. As he walked in the door with this big bag smelling almost as bad as him, I began having a bad feeling I would not eat all night. I sat there and watched him inhale about seven or eight of these things, my stomach was growling like a pit bull gnawing on its next door neighbor when I decided to eat one of these fart missiles myself. That’s when things started getting ugly.
I started of eating a small bag of cold french fries, I have to admit with the right amount of salt tasted good. When I finished eating the bag of salt and potatoes I started to get more hungry, at first I thought this young man put some drugs in there. I started getting hungrier and hungrier. Until I ate one of these White Castles burgers with cheese and it tasted marvelous. I thought I was in my younger days again. I reached in the big paper sack and grabbed another. That’s when I tasted something foreign, I told my son in law that something tasted hot. He just smiled at me, that’s when I knew he was trying to kill me.
He ordered half hamburgers and half Mexican style burgers with scorching hot peppers. I could not believe that an American fast food chain would try and poison their customers with this jellopena type burgers. The first thing that happened to me was, I felt like my cholesterol level Was doing a Mexican hat dance, my ears turned red, my stomach began to rumble and my rear end felt ill. About two hours later is when the fireworks began. I was on the toilet for a total of 2 hours, my anis sounded like Lois Armstrong both singing and playing the horn. It took me two days to get back to my normal eating schedule.
The Bottom Line. Now, I know these White Castle are not bad for everyone. The young people eat them up like hot cakes, but these things did I job on me. I think I would have been sick even without the hot peppers, but those hot peppers could have killed me. My advice would be to anyone that has stomach problems or are getting up there in age, do not eat at the white castle, if you do, order one or two burgers and a small onion ring with a coke. Don’t make the same mistake I did.
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