The events of September 11 affected far more than they should have done. I've seen news clips of thousands of people dying day after day throughout the world and whilst I'm left feeling saddened, angry, and more often than not helpless, I carry on pretty much as before. I knew no-one who lost their life or was even in the World Trade Centre, the Pentagon, or even Pennsylvania that day, but having previously visited all those places the horror was far more real for me than any newsworthy event I'd seen before.
New York was the biggest shock for me. The defining buildings of its' southern skyline had gone and it seemed that there was a danger of people upping sticks and leaving the city permanently. I needed to go back and check that New York was still alive and well.
Security checks leaving Heathrow were marginally tighter than usual, but the presence of security personnel seemed if anything to be lower key. There was definitely a more nervous edge to passengers, and co-operation with security staff was far less grudging than normal.
Arrival at JFK was no more stressful than normal and we joined the immigration queue expecting the normal interrogation to be even more hostile. I was wrong about that. The INS guy I talked to was delighted that so many British and Irish people were planning on spending the New Year in New York, and whizzed us through with a cheery 'happy holidays'. He was however, one of a large number of New Yorkers who expressed fears of another attack, specifically on New Years Eve.
New York is different now. There is no getting away from it. As we neared Manhattan New York virgins looked in awe at the skyline, their attention focused on the festively lit Empire State, while others looked quietly downtown, where the skyscrapers blurred into one without the towering towers.
Billboards on the bridges onto Manhattan call to New Yorkers to 'rise above' and there are plenty of posters attesting to the heroism of the NYPD and NYFD. The TV carried ads encouraging people to seek counseling and ensuring them that it was 'time to feel good again'.
The city was always full of Star Spangled Banners flying from stores, businesses, public buildings and apartment blocks, but now they are seen on cars, with every single storefront boasting some sort of US flag, even if it was a pullout copy from the New York Post. The slogan of choice seems to be 'United We Stand', but in a more worrying trend small businesses owned by non-white operators seem compelled to put statements like 'Proud to be American' outside their Chinese laundry or Lebanese restaurant. Whilst US immigrants have always been 'Proud to be American' these hurriedly prepared signs look like they've been put up after others have questioned their patriotism.
Perhaps the moment that brought New York's loss into sharpest focus for me was when walking back from an evening out and passing a Fire Station draped in black with photos and potted biographies of two firefighters who had lost their lives framed by the doors. Looking south from the fire house you could just make out the downtown skyline, but with no WTC.
Major stores like Bloomingdales and Macys were selling NYPD and NYFD merchandise to raise funds for families. Street hawkers were selling similar merchandise to make a quick buck. More tastelessly souvenirs such as snowdomes of the NYC skyline with fire trucks stuck to the outside and postcards of the devastation were selling well.
We'd thought long and hard about visiting 'Ground Zero'. In some ways I wanted to just see it for real, to put the streaming video from September 11 out of my mind, but in so many other ways I really didn't want to go stand by a mass grave and take photos. There is now a viewing platform, allowing people to get up close and personal for twenty minutes at a time. Plenty of time on a tourist schedule, but rather limiting for people dealing with real grief.
The most disturbing element of the Ground Zero viewing area is that the neighbourhood has its? own street hawkers selling some fairly tasteless tat, alongside woolly hats emblazoned 'Ground Zero WTC NYC 91101'. There were people wearing them. As a New York visitor I wanted to pull off their hats and slap them around a bit, so quite what it is like for people who lost family and friends, or who survived the attacks, to see happy holiday makers in the black beanies I can't begin to imagine.
Having ventured downtown none of us had the stomach to visit Ground Zero, particularly as news reports were emerging that recovery workers had found a small pocket of people with worn away finger tips, suggesting that they had survived for hours if not days in the underground mall.
Instead we took a trip on the Circle Line ferry out to Liberty and Ellis Islands to get acquainted with the new skyline. There is no getting away from the fact that the attack has made New York look a little smaller, less bold, but that is certainly not reflected in the spirit of the place. Sailing past WTC the cranes can be seen as work goes on pretty much 24/7. The remaining buildings of the WTC are covered in giant black shrouds, not in morning, but to prevent falling glass, steel and masonry from falling onto workers below.
The largest surviving building is adorned with the biggest Old Glory I've ever seen, shining bright against the black background in typically American pride and defiance. The Statue of Liberty still welcomes people into New York harbour. America still welcomes people from all directions.
Having been back to downtown Manhattan, and New York in general I've been able to get a better perspective on September 11. I love New York more than ever.
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